Nobody in Particular(93)

“This is kidnapping,” I protest as she walks me toward the trees.

She stops just inside the border of trees, approximately two feet into the woods, still holding me. “Now, isn’t this romantic?” she asks, grunting under my weight.

“Put me down,” I order.

She does, and I swat at her. She dodges me, laughing. “Just because you’re the princess,” I say, “doesn’t mean”—she grabs my wrists—“you decide what everyone does.”

I try to keep glaring at her, but I break into a smile after a few seconds. It gets even wider as she steers me to the nearest tree and wraps my arms around the back of it, kissing me and pinning me in place, my back against the trunk, her hands on my wrists, and her hips against mine. Eventually, I wrench my arms free and draw her into me. We’re a tangle of arms and legs, tied up like a knot that was never supposed to be unwound.

“You don’t get away with it just because you’re hot, either,” I say against her lips when she pulls away.

She pretends to sulk. “But that’s the opposite of what I was raised to believe,” she says, letting me go.

I walk out of the woods, mostly just to prove a point. I’m giggling, too, now, though, so when Rose chases after me and pulls me back into another kiss I don’t protest.

Her hair is messy from the wind, and her eyes are crinkled, and her coat has slid off one shoulder. Even after all this time, it still surprises me when I stop and take in just how beautiful she is. And not just physically. It strikes me, looking at her now, that I’d do anything to protect this girl. Anything she needs, I’ll do it.

“I don’t think I’d be okay without you,” I say.

Rose runs a thumb over my jaw. “You’ve got me,” she says. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“I’m one wrong move from losing you,” I say.

She shakes her head. “Not as long as you’re on this earth. There’s nowhere they can send you that I won’t follow. You … how can I even explain how much you mean to me? You’ve redefined what happiness is. Each night, I climb into bed excited because when I wake, I get to live another day knowing you. And I know I let you get hurt last night, but I swear right here and right now that will never happen again. I won’t allow it, because watching you in pain is a thousand times worse than bearing it myself, and I simply don’t care what gets thrown at me anymore. The only thing that matters is you, Danni. I wanted to become a better person, but you make me good. I don’t think I realized it before, but I do now. I need you, and I need the version of me I become when I’m with you. If I lose you, I lose me, and I will fight for you until I’m broken and bloodied if that’s what it takes.”

I stare at her, completely stunned. “Rose…”

“I love you,” she finishes fiercely, and for just a heartbeat, the world stops.

“I love you, too,” I hear myself say, and it’s the truth. I’ve known it’s the truth for a while now. It scares the shit out of me, but there it is.

It’s incredible, I think, that one day could hold one of the worst, and one of the best, moments of my life, all in one.

She breaks into a grin like sunshine through clouds. “You do?”

“Of course I do.”

She takes a few steps away from me, tips her head back, and takes a shaky breath. “I love you.” She laughs.

“Don’t say it too loud.”

“I love you,” she says again, raising her voice and holding her arms out to the side. “I’m in love with Danni Blythe. I will always be in love with Danni Blythe. Make it the front-page news for all I bloody care.”

The only response is the wind, and no one can hear us but the animals in the woods.





THIRTY-NINE

ROSE




It’s crushing to be attached to Alfie’s arm at yet another family event. Nothing personal to him, of course. I’m well aware of how much I owe him. This week, more than ever, it’s crucial to be seen together by as many people as possible, and my cousin Emmeline’s wedding is the perfect occasion. Only, I can’t help being keenly aware that, right now, while we’re eating hors d’oeuvres surrounded by breathtaking flower installations with a jazz band serenading us, Danni is at school without me, possibly feeling the worst she ever has. I’ve never felt like I’m giving a pantomime performance quite as much as I do tonight. This isn’t only fake. It’s a farce.

Eleanor is here tonight, too, though she’s sitting with her parents at the moment. She begged for an invitation when she discovered Emmeline is marrying Guadalupe Alcántara, a descendant of minor Spanish nobility. And Santi confirmed to her via text—they are, as of Florence’s party, on texting terms—he would indeed be attending.

Alfie and I float around the reception as a couple, speaking to as many people as we possibly can. See, here we are. Entirely heterosexual, quite in love, please for the love of god help us quell any rumors otherwise before my girlfriend gets hurt again.

Over and over again we smile and laugh with people while they make the same inane comments. You two look lovely together. I remember my high school love. You’re a lucky man, Alfie, this one’s going to keep you on your toes. It’s as though someone were walking ahead of us handing out identical cue cards for the guests to read aloud.