The Break-Up Retreat(87)

And yet, at the same time, the animal in me is hoping she won’t be there.

As long as she’s not here, I’m safe.

I don’t want to find her; I want her to be gone. I want her to have left, to leave me alone, to leave all of us alone.

At some point, I’m sure I’ll wonder why. Why she did all this. But right now, it doesn’t seem to matter.

“I don’t see her,” I shout over my shoulder; I don’t know if Anna can hear me.

But when I turn back, I glimpse it.

On the ground. A shape. At first, I might have taken it for water; but it’s still, where the water is moving.

I feel my stomach turning, again, and the cold has me in an iron grip, and I want to turn, want to run, but I don’t.

My father would have turned.

He would have taken the car, and left.

But I run to her, and I get down by her side, even as I’m shaking with fright, because she’s lying with her face down, her legs half submerged in the roiling pond, her hair a dark sludge of water.

“Belinda?” I yell, and I grab her by the shoulders and turn her over.

Her face is still beautiful. Her eyes are half open, and for a moment I think she’s looking at me. I think she’s dazed, and I think, that’s good. Anna hit her hard. She won’t be able to hurt us .

But then I see the gash at the top of her head.

The rain has washed the blood away, leaving the gaping ruin of her skull pristine.

The cut has cleaved the top of her head, stopping an inch away from her hairline. I can see the hair pushed into the split by the force, the white of the bone poking through, and something else, under there, something worse, something I can’t—I can’t—

There’s a sound, behind me. Like a cry. A name, called out.

But I don’t turn around, because I can’t look away. I’m frozen, in the moment of what I’m seeing.

Anna said that she hit her , I think, absurdly. She only said that she hit her .

And then I feel it. A prick, at the base of my neck.

The world starts to swim in front of my eyes, and I feel a strong pair of arms catching me, and it’s almost a relief to feel the world slipping away. To let someone catch and carry me.

“It’s all right, Isobel,” she whispers in my ear. “It’s all going to be okay now.”

And then it all dissolves around me, and I’m falling.

Report of Missing Person

Name of missing person: Susannah Viola Wallin

Date of Birth: 1995–02–16

Name of person making report: Maximilian Lucas Wallin

Relationship to missing person: Sibling

Date of report: 2023–11–13

Last seen: 2023–09–02

Background: Susannah Viola Wallin is 29 years old, 5’10, and described by her brother as having an athletic build, blond hair, and blue eyes. She was last seen by her family on the evening of September 2, and is described by her brother as having been in a heightened state of emotion (“excited, almost manic”).

According to her brother, Susannah had recently been broken up with by her fiancé, Linn Walsj?, and had made plans to get treatment at a therapeutic clinic by the name of Himlafall (located approx. five hours from Stockholm). This treatment was supposed to go on for a week.

According to her brother, Susannah never made contact upon returning home, and he states that he is not certain she ever came back from the clinic. Brother further states that he has made multiple attempts to contact the clinic in question, but that they have refused to answer any questions about his sister.

Maximilian Wallin claims to have made multiple (“dozens”) attempts at contacting his sister, and says that he at first thought she might have been avoiding his calls but is now concerned she has gotten hurt or is being held by the clinic in question. As proof he offers that multiple of her bills have gone to collection and that, according to him, none of her friends have heard from her.

Addendum 2023–11–14: The Himlafall Clinic has been reached by phone and has confirmed that Susannah Viola Wallin left the clinic voluntarily on September 8.

Addendum 2023–11–17: Contact has been established with Susannah Viola Wallin upon attempt at speaking to her fiancé, Linn Walsj?. Visual confirmation of identity was made. Susannah expressed that she is in good health and that her brother is attempting to find her against her will, and further expressed her wish that no one is to be made aware of her location. Case is to be considered closed.





Chapter 50


“Hey, sweetie.”

My body feels very far away. My eyelids are too heavy to lift; I don’t want to open my eyes. There’s pain there, somewhere far away, and I don’t want it to get any closer. I just want there to be quiet. I just want to be left alone.

“Isobel, can you hear me?”

The voice is soft and sweet, but it can’t lure me. I know better. Once I open my eyes, they will know I’m awake, and they will make me get up, and I’m so very tired.

So tired.

I try to say “I don’t want to go to school, I don’t feel well ,” but my lips won’t move the way I’m used to; instead, the words fracture in my mind, and I try to turn my face away.

“You have to wake up now, sweetheart. It’s time.”

“I . . . I c-can’t . . .”