This Book Made Me Think of You(89)

The balcony door opens, and he wonders if she is back already. But it’s Raj who stumbles outside, his jacket gone and his shirt hanging untucked on one side. His friends wave and call to him from the other end of the balcony, and he raises a hand in greeting, gesturing that he’ll be over in a minute. Then he weaves unsteadily toward Alfie, slumping down in one of the chairs.

“Alfie, mate. Good to see you.” He says it with the warmth of someone who has been a friend for years, not someone whom Alfie only met for the first time today. It makes Alfie smile; all day he’s been made to feel so welcome. Like he maybe could belong here among these people.

“Having a good night?” he asks.

Raj tips his head back slightly, looking up at the night’s sky. “The best. Just needed some air though. I might have had too much to drink.” He gives Alfie a lopsided smile.

“If you can’t have too much to drink on your wedding day, when can you?”

“Quite right!” Raj straightens himself in the chair. “Hey, Tilly was great today, wasn’t she?”

A shiver runs through Alfie’s body just at the mention of her name. Tilly. Whose mouth was just on his, her hands on his skin.

“She was.”

“It can’t have been an easy day, but it meant so much to Harper to have her here. I swear she would have refused to get married at all if Tils wasn’t there. I’ve got her to thank for this.” Raj lifts up his hand, displaying his new gold wedding band. “Man, I can’t believe I’m married.” He stares at the ring for a moment, his eyes glazing slightly.

“I know Tilly really wanted to be here. And it’s been a great day. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, mate.” Raj lets out a sigh. “We’re going to miss her though. But it’s great news for her.”

“Sorry?”

“Tilly’s new job in New York. Harper’s going to be a mess when she leaves, but I know she’ll find loads of excuses to visit. And it’s her dream job—opportunities don’t come along like that every day.”

A roar of laughter comes from the other end of the balcony, making Raj turn in the direction of the sound, but all Alfie can think about is the ringing in his ears and the way the air feels suddenly very cold.

“Right, I better go say hi to my friends. But you have a good rest of night, yeah? And thanks again for coming. She’s lucky to have a friend like you.”



* * *



—

When Tilly returns with the drinks, Alfie is gone. She searches the balcony for him, spotting Raj instead. He raises a hand in greeting.

“Hey, Tils. Alfie said to say he’s sorry but he had to go. I think the cocktails might not have agreed with him…I might have had one too many myself…”

She places the drinks down on a table, smoothing her hair from where it is still tangled from Alfie’s hands. She recalls the sound of his throaty groans and the feeling of his hand cupping her face. But he must have regretted the kiss. And maybe he is right. Maybe it’s for the best. Where could it have led, really?

Just because kissing Alfie made her feel more alive than she’s felt in a long time doesn’t mean it was worth upending her life for.





December


Book Lane Recommends

The best festive fiction



A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

The Christmas Bookshop, Jenny Colgan

The Night Before Christmas, Clement C. Moore

A Snow Garden and Other Stories, Rachel Joyce





Fifty-Five




Primrose Hill is dressed for Christmas. Lights are strung between the buildings, and little fir trees line the sidewalk. Tilly winds her scarf tighter around her neck as she passes the greengrocer’s and plant shop where she bought a potted tree on the weekend, decorating it with Joe’s ornaments and a new one she made last week—a letter J crocheted in red wool.

She walks past the bakery, breathing in the smell of cinnamon and hot chocolate as people queue for pain au chocolat, cinnamon swirls, and freshly baked mince pies. At the florists the buckets of red roses that sit among branches of holly and pine make Tilly think back to Harper’s wedding. Harper sent photos yesterday of her and Raj surrounded by monkeys on their honeymoon in Thailand. They will be back just before Christmas, which Tilly has insisted on hosting in her flat even if it will mean sitting elbow to elbow around the tiny dining table. She wants to make the most of one last Christmas there.

She continues down the street toward the bookshop, ready to collect her final book of the year and to talk to Alfie. They haven’t seen each other since the wedding, Alfie busy with the pre-Christmas rush. She wants to tell him her news in person, even if she isn’t certain how he will react. But when she approaches the red shop front of Book Lane, she stops, staring at the red banner strung across the window.

Closing Down Sale

Everything Must Go

Her heart clenches, her breath caught in her throat. There are “sale” stickers on all the books in the window and a sign taped to the glass.

Dear customers,

It is with regret that we have to inform you that after twenty-one years, Book Lane will be closing at the end of the month. Thank you for your loyalty over the years. Our final trading day will be 24th December.