This Book Made Me Think of You(92)

“We understand that, sweetheart,” his mum says, taking his big hand in her tiny one. “It must be hard to face closing the shop after how hard you’ve worked over the years, ever since your dad died. But maybe it isn’t the worst thing.”

Alfie looks up then, his eyes flashing. He catches his mum and sister looking at each other.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve always felt guilty about how I handled things after your dad died. I was so distraught that I let too much fall on your shoulders.”

Tash reaches out to rub their mum’s arm. “Mum, you did everything you could. You were grieving too—you’d just lost your husband. But I feel it, too, like I wasn’t there for you enough, Alfie…”

“Don’t be silly, Tash. You were about to have a baby. And, Mum, you know I didn’t mind taking over the shop. I wanted to.”

“I know you did, darling. But I still wonder whether it was too much. You’ve done an absolutely brilliant job at keeping it going all these years. But I worry what it has cost you. First Freya, then all those long days and late nights, now to see you like this…”

“We loved the shop too,” Tash says gently. “But maybe now you can have a life too.”

“You know all we want is to see you happy,” adds his mum, giving his hand a squeeze. “My sweet, brave boy.”

Alfie is thirty-one years old, but something about his mother’s words breaks him, because he hasn’t felt brave recently. He thinks back to the night of Harper’s wedding and the intoxicating high of the kiss followed by the sobering effect of the news Tilly was leaving. He knows he should have asked Tilly about New York himself, but he isn’t sure he can bear hearing her say the words out loud. Not when he’s been stupid enough to do the one thing he promised himself he’d never do after Freya: get close enough to get his heart broken all over again. He meant what he said to Tilly at the wedding. He would be fine with just being her friend, even if every time he saw her he’d be thinking about the feel of her lips against his and the sound she made as he kissed her, but it would be enough. He would make it enough because he can’t stand the thought of not having her in his life. And now she is moving thousands of miles away…

“Maybe you’re right,” he says. “Maybe it’s time for a new start.”



* * *



—

“So, I think we’re all set,” Tilly says, going over her long checklist.

“I can’t believe it’s actually Christmas Eve tomorrow,” says Blue. Outside, the sky is a heavy gray, the street lit up with Christmas lights. The shop smells like pine from the tree Tilly had lugged in a couple of weeks ago, Blue and Prudence helping to decorate. Since then, she has come into the shop every day. Working in a bookshop is even more exhausting than she could have imagined, her feet throbbing when she gets home. But she has loved it, too, getting a rush of excitement every time someone buys one of her recommendations.

“It’s going to be quite a day tomorrow,” says Prudence, looking around. “If people actually show up, that is…”

The shop door has been locked, and the three of them are slumped around the counter, a bottle of wine opened between them that Prudence brought, insisting that they mark the shop’s penultimate day. Georgette sits with a proprietorial tail draped over the register. Tilly wonders what is going to happen to Georgette once the shop closes. Alfie has always said that Georgette is a stray, but Tilly can’t imagine her looking more at home anywhere else.

“I really thought he might show up today,” Blue says, taking a sip of her wine.

“Me too,” says Prudence. “I know this can’t be easy for him, but I worry he’ll regret it if he doesn’t come before it’s too late.”

As Prudence tops up their wine, Tilly slips her phone out of her bag, typing a message to Alfie. They’ve shared several messages over the past few weeks, but nothing beyond a few words. She hasn’t wanted to push it. He’s made his feelings—or lack of them—clear. And perhaps a friend is all she needs right now, even if she can’t stop thinking about the feel of his lips against her neck.

Hey Alfie. I know you haven’t wanted to come into the bookshop and I understand why. But tomorrow is the last day and I really think you should be there. Prudence, Blue, and Georgette need you. Book Lane needs you. I’ll be there and I really hope that you will too. x

“We should probably get going,” says Prudence.

“Big day tomorrow,” adds Blue.

“Good idea.” They all stand up, but as Tilly is about to reach for her bag beneath the counter, the shop is plunged suddenly into darkness.

Georgette lets out a high-pitched meow and leaps off the counter, her tail knocking the wine bottle. All three of them reach for it, but no one gets there in time, and it tips over, red wine spilling all over Tilly’s clipboard and list.

“Shit!”

She looks around for something to stop the flow before it hits the piles of books further along the counter.

“Take this!” says Blue, throwing a wad of the tissues her way. Tilly creates a barrier with the tissue, managing to divert the flow of the wine away from the books and onto the floor instead.

“The lights are still on across the street,” says Prudence, pointing toward the window. “I don’t think it’s a power cut.”