Till Summer Do Us Part(37)

Clearing his throat, Wilder asks, “What, uh, what do you think you’re going to get?”

Seeing he wants to change the subject, I study my menu again, even though I know the three choices already.

“I think maybe the eggplant parm.”

“That’s what I was thinking as well.” He smiles up at me. “Look at us twinning.”

“Dear God,” I say with a shake of my head, causing him to chuckle. “Hey, stop that. No laughing. You need to look irritated around me.”

“Then don’t make me laugh.”

“Don’t say dumb things, like ‘twinning.’”

“That’s not dumb,” he replies. “That’s stating the facts.”

Just then, our waitress steps up to our table and says, “Welcome to Camp Haven. My name is Meghan, and I’ll be your personal server during the duration of your stay. Can I interest you in some sparkling water?”

“Do you have wine?” I ask.

Meghan, with the long ponytail and freckles dotting her nose, shakes her head. “No, this is an alcohol-free camp. Sanders only allows alcohol two nights during your stay, and tonight is not one of them.”

Should have figured since the minibar was replaced with condoms and lube.

Although, some of the toys they’re upcharging for, I’d suspect I’d need some alcohol to even think about using. Especially the one in the shower. The girth on that thing is terrifying.

“Sparkling water will be fine,” I say, disappointed that I can’t lean on my good friend merlot to get me through the next eight days.

“And for you?” she asks Wilder.

“Sparkling water as well. The wife and I are twinning.”

Dear God in heaven.

“We’d also like the eggplant parm.” He sniffs the air. “And is that garlic bread I smell?”

“It is,” Meghan says with a smile. “I’ll bring you out a basket in a few.”

“That would be great, thank you,” Wilder says.

“Certainly. Is there anything else I can get you?”

“We’re good,” I say.

“Wonderful.” Then she reaches into her apron pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper. “Here are your questions for tonight.”

“Questions?” I ask. “What are these for?”

“Every evening, you’ll be given a set of questions that you must ask each other. Sanders requires it. If you need anything else, just flag me down.”

“Thank you,” Wilder says while taking the questions from Meghan.

She takes off, and I lean forward, trying to take a gander at what’s on the piece of paper.

“What kind of questions are we talking about over there?” I ask. “Because if it’s ‘Will I pay fifteen dollars for a pack of three condoms,’ the answer is no.”

He shakes his head. “No, they’re regular, thought-provoking questions.”

“Really?” I ask. “Like what?”

“Well, they’re listed out by the questions I need to ask you and the questions you need to ask me.”

“Do you think we have to do them?” I ask.

Wilder looks up and glances around the food hall. “I mean, it seems like everyone is doing them. It would be odd if we didn’t.”

I look around as well and notice how deep in conversation each couple is. Hell, okay, maybe we do have to do the questions.

“Okay, do you want to go first?”

“Sure, we can go back and forth,” he answers. He studies the first question and then looks up at me. “Why are superheroes portrayed as heroes who wear their underwear outside their pants?”

“What?” I ask. “That’s the question?”

He nods. “Yup.”

Leaning more forward, I whisper, “This place is weird. Between the cabin sex-a-thons, the owner with the moose antlers, and the superhero question, like what are we really doing here? I mean, it’s weird, right?”

“It could be perceived that way,” Wilder says. “But that’s not an answer to the question.”

“My answer to the question is it’s a weird question.”

“Everything okay over here?” Sanders asks as he walks up, straightening his bow tie.

“Yup,” I nearly shout because he startled me. “Everything is great.” I offer him a thumbs-up.

“Any problems with the questions?”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “They’re great. Very thought-provoking.”

“Wonderful. Let us know if you need anything, and we’ll take care of it.” And then he takes off.

When he’s out of earshot, I ask, “Does he just come out of nowhere all the time?”

“Nah, I saw him walking up.” Wilder smirks.

“And you didn’t bother to give me a warning?”

Wilder shrugs. “We never talked about a warning sign. Is that something you’re interested in?”

“If he’s going to keep popping up like that, then yes.”

“What do you want the warning sign to be?” he asks, still holding the list of questions.

“Maybe bulge your eyes out.”

He presses his hand to his chest and asks, “I’m sorry, were you under the impression that I’m a cartoon character with eye-bulging capabilities?”