West of Forever (Heartstone Ranch #1)(75)

“I know,” I say, brushing off his compliment quickly.

“No, you don’t, because if you did, you wouldn’t have said it.”

My discomfort grows, as I want to rebuke his statement. To tell him about how his sister feels this way too. Yes, what I do helps some, but it’s not like what Carter does. He risks his life, and he uses every opportunity to remind us all of it.

I let out a heavy sigh through my nose. “I do. I mean, I get what you’re saying, but it’s not the same as what he does.”

“The fact you have to clarify tells me otherwise.”

“Well, whatever.”

He chuckles and then shifts so we’re facing each other. “You work with horses that help kids, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

We all know I do this, so I don’t know why he’s bringing it up.

“And what would happen if you didn’t?”

“They’d find horses from someone else. Someone like, oh, I don’t know, you.”

Tristan snorts. “We don’t train horses for that. Fallon and Roni work on a lot of other things, but nothing like what you do.”

A warmth spreads through my chest at his words. “It’s…anyone could do it.”

“We both know that’s a lie.”

Do we?

I’m aware that the work I do is a little different. I train horses for only riding, but the ones I work with for the special camps are handled in a unique way. I need to know they can withstand any situation, like the instability of kids with limb differences or who make unpredictable sounds. I do a lot of intense riding, making sure the horse will react appropriately to anything that a kid might unknowingly do.

It’s not just about breaking a horse in. It’s about giving them the tools to not injure a child.

“Why are you saying this?” I ask, my eyes trained on the hollow at his throat.

“Because it’s true, and you need to hear it. Your brother visiting doesn’t change the work you do. Don’t let him diminish it.”

I really wish he wasn’t being so damn sweet.

“It’s hard, you know? Families are complicated.”

He laughs once. “Don’t I know it. Remember, I have three sisters. None of them are easy to deal with.”

I should tell him about what Fallon said.

I want to tell him, and yet I don’t.

I glance up at him, asking the only question I’m comfortable with: “Who are you closest with?”

Tristan falls silent, staring up at the tent roof. “You know, I’m not sure. Harper and I are close, because she works with me the most. Roni and I are probably the least close. She really doesn’t love the farm life. Her dreams are different from any of ours, and she wants more than just horses.”

“Like what?” I ask, wanting to just hear him talk.

“She wants to turn one of our barns into a wedding venue. At least that’s the idea this month. A year ago, it was a brewery. The year before that, she mentioned making it into an inn that catered to people who want a horse experience, whatever that means. She doesn’t want to spend her life on a ranch and then get married with nothing to show.” He shrugs and then adjusts us both.

“And you and Fallon?” I ask cautiously. God, I’m walking right into this.

He tenses a bit, but then relaxes. “Fallon and I have the same experiences. We’re both single parents after losing someone we loved. It’s a different kind of closeness I pray I never have with anyone else.”

We both fall silent, and I wonder what to say.

Do I ask him about Emmy Jo? Do I apologize for not only his loss but also what Maverick cost his family? Both? None? I don’t know what the right thing is.

I hate it for them both. I wish that I could go back in time and change that one night for Fallon, but I can’t. As for the pain that Tristan and Sadie endure, it breaks my heart.

I close my eyes as a tear falls, dropping to his chest.

Tristan must sense it because he tilts my chin up, resting his gaze on mine. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m a girl.”

His smile is soft. “Lark, don’t lie to me.”

Ugh. I don’t want to lie to him, but this is going to be a mood killer. Whatever, we’re not supposed to have moods other than screwing. “I just hate it. I wish you never lost Emmy Jo. I wish Sadie had her mother. I wish that Fallon didn’t have to bury the man she loved. I wish her son knew him, even though I don’t even know him. I know that my family holds blame in what she goes through. My heart aches for all of you, especially you two. She…was right, what she said. My family has hurt you, and I can’t make it better. I can’t.”

God, I said that, and I didn’t mean to.

“Who was right?”

The tears come in earnest now, and I hate that I’m breaking down. I don’t want to lie to him, so I decide to let it all out. I push up, crossing my legs, and look down at him. “Fallon. She saw me earlier today and she…well, she let me know what she thinks.”

Tristan sits up, taking my face in his hands and wiping at my now-constant tears. “I don’t know what Fallon said to you, but I promise, she’s wrong. You didn’t have a single thing to do with her losing Carrick.”