West of Forever (Heartstone Ranch #1)(78)

Not technically.

I mean, we are probably the closest two humans can actually be together, but that’s not for my kid to know. We’re not dating—in that sense of the word. We’re just…casually friends who happen to have a deeper connection that I’m sure as fuck not thinking about.

“I wouldn’t care if you were,” Sadie says, and this time I do run slightly off the road, causing the truck to hit bumps that vibrate the truck.

I get back between the lines and assemble my thoughts.

What the hell does that mean? She doesn’t even know Lark.

Okay, staying calm is the only way to get through this.

“Sadie…I…” I don’t know what to say.

She turns in her seat to face me. “I’m just saying that I’m old enough to understand things. You should be happy, you know? If you met someone, and I liked her, I wouldn’t mind if you dated. I don’t know if that’s why you don’t try with Lark—or anyone.”

There’s a gas station ahead, so I pull in. This isn’t a conversation I want to have while driving, since I’ve almost gone off the road twice. Clearly, this girl is trying to kill us both.

I put the truck in park and turn to her.

“Where is this coming from?”

She shrugs. “Just when I was away, all these people were talking about their parents. Jessica’s mom just got divorced, and she’s already dating someone new. Tabitha’s dad is getting married to his new girlfriend, and he’s not even divorced yet. I know Mom died, and it’s probably different, but…I just don’t want you to be alone all the time.”

“I loved your mom very much, and in the beginning, it definitely was that I wasn’t ready to date. I had you, a three-year-old who needed me. Then I took over the ranch, and that was a whole new set of reasons I just wasn’t ready to get back out there. Now that’s not the case, really.”

“Then what is the reason?”

I don’t fucking know.

I don’t have a reason other than the one woman I would date…I can’t.

Lark would complicate my life in ways that neither of us want to step into. Her family, my family, the fact that she drives me crazy, and then the fear of letting myself love another person, only to lose them.

I look into those blue eyes that are just like her mother’s and give her a version of the truth. “Losing your mom was really hard. Then I almost lost you. I just don’t know if I can handle going through it again.”

Sadie reaches her hand out, resting it on mine. “I understand, Daddy.”

“I hate that you do.”

“But you’re the strongest man I know. Remember that too.”

I smile warmly and lean in to kiss her cheek. “I’m glad you think so. How about we stop for some ice cream and keep your grandad waiting?”

Her grin is full of mischief. “Deal.”

I turn, put the truck in drive, and pray we never have a talk like that again. I’m not sure I can handle thinking about a life with someone else, because the only person I see is Lark, and that’s never going to happen.





“What the fuck is going on now?” I say aloud as we pull up to the house and find Jimmy’s cruiser parked out front.

“That’s a bad word,” Sadie says with a smirk.

“Yes, well, don’t repeat it.”

I hate the whole “do as I say, not as I do” mantra, but it applies here.

“Can I say shit?”

“No.”

“Damn?”

I glare at her. “No. No cursing.”

“What about asshole? I feel like that’s different.”

“It’s not.”

Sadie purses her lips. “Technically it’s a body part. Therefore, it can’t really be considered a curse word.” Before I can argue that point, she goes on, “Also, bastard is in the dictionary, and really all the curse words are, so I don’t know how you can say that they’re not appropriate if the dictionary has them. You know, that’s an educational book.”

I swear, not even twenty minutes ago, I had this sweet, smiling little girl in my truck. The return of the way-too-old-for-her-own-good girl is back. I miss the other one.

“As much as I’d love to have this fight with you, I need to go see why we have the cops here—again.”

“Well, at least you have an airtight alibi.”

Yes, there’s that. “Let’s go.”

We exit the car, and at the same time Jimmy comes out the front door. “Tristan, I’m sorry, but…”

“But what? I was literally gone since seven this morning, driving out to pick up Sadie.”

He sighs. “I understand, but this happened earlier than that.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

He looks to Sadie. “Why don’t you go inside, sweetheart. I’ll be in once I’m done talking to your dad.”

“Are you arresting him?” she asks.

“I sure as hell hope not.”

She nods once. “Me too, because then I’ll have to hate you, Uncle Jimmy, and I really don’t want to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he retorts.

“Go see your aunts and grandad,” I say. “I’ll get this sorted and be in soon.”