When She Falls (The Fallen, #3)(97)

“Eat faster,” I beg as he slides the tip of his finger beneath the fabric and brushes it over my sensitive slit.

He chases his next bite with some wine and then picks up a napkin and presses it against his lip. He pulls his hand away, pushes his plate aside, and pats the surface of the table like he wants me to get on it.

Excitement runs up my spine.

I stand up.

“Take off your clothes,” he commands, his voice a low rumble. Fire blazes inside his hazel eyes.

When I slip the straps of the dress off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground, Ras makes a satisfied sound. He waits until my panties fall alongside the dress and then says, “Good girl. Now, get on the table and spread those thighs open. I’m ready for my next course.”

I do as he says, my clit pulsing with excitement and my nipples puckered, eager for his attention. It’s easy to obey him. The thought reminds me that very soon I’ll have to do the opposite… Oh God, I’ll have to tell him—

He wraps his big hands over my thighs, leans forward, and buries his face inside my cunt.

His tongue momentarily chases away the thoughts pressing in on me, the ones that carve out pieces of my heart. Ras feasts on my pussy until I’m begging for him to fuck me, to get inside of me, to fill me up.

My thighs are shaking and drops of sweat are sliding between my breasts when he finally stands up and fists the hair at my nape. “So greedy,” he says against my lips as he deftly undoes his belt. I taste myself on him. Smell my arousal on his beard. “I love when you’re desperate for my cock.” His tongue slides over my bottom teeth, and he deepens the kiss. I feel him prod against my opening. I reach between us and slide him inside of me. He groans and starts to roll his hips, his mouth still locked on mine.

It feels so, so good.

My heels dig into his thighs as he speeds up his thrusts. My back arches. The table jitters beneath us, the dishes and the cutlery clanking so loudly I’m afraid they’ll break, but he doesn’t stop, and I’m not about to ask him to. Not when I can feel my orgasm coming on, my body becoming engulfed in flames.

Mindless and all-encompassing need pulses inside of me. My nails dig into Ras’s back, leaving half-moon marks and tearing at his skin.

“Fuck,” he says raggedly, his cock deep inside of me, and his hot breath by my ear. “You’re too good. Too fucking good. I’m going to—”

The words push me over, contractions coming on suddenly and with such force they take me aback. I gasp. There’s no air inside my lungs. I’ve forgotten how to breathe.

I clutch onto Ras and feel him tense up as he finds his own release. He groans, his hold on me tightening until it’s painful, but the pain somehow feels just right.

A tear leaks out of my eye. God, I need to pull myself together.

“I love you, Peaches,” he says, tracing the words with his lips against my temple, and my blood freezes.

I love you too. When I think of you, there’s this overwhelming feeling inside my chest, as if I’m coming down the peak of a rollercoaster.

I press my face against his bare chest, hiding the cascade of tears. His heart is pounding.

I can’t say it back, no matter how desperately I want to. If I do, I won’t be able to leave. I won’t be able to break his heart, which is what I have to do.

When he pulls out of me, I’m on the verge of panic.

He’s still catching his breath as he steps back, spreads my legs, and looks at where my pussy is leaking his cum all over the dinner table. Satisfaction flashes inside his eyes. He traces his fingertips over the inside of my thigh. “Seeing that makes me so fucking crazy, baby. You have no idea.”

I sweep my palms over my face to wipe away the wetness and slide off the table. “I’m going to get cleaned up,” I mumble, already on my way to the bathroom.

I need to numb myself. I need to separate my brain from my heart.

And then I need to tell him.

In the shower, I stay under freezing cold water until I can’t stand it a second longer, and then I pad into the bedroom. Ras’s lying on the bed in his boxer briefs, his arms folded behind his head, biceps bulging.

I think he might have fallen asleep, but when he hears me, his eyes spring open.

The reverent look he gives me nearly kills me.

I know with absolute certainty no one will ever look at me that way again. My conviction wavers for a moment, but I steel my spine and tighten my robe around me.

There are no other options. It has to be done.

“Ras, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asks, sounding unconcerned.

“I think I made a mistake.”

He gives me a kind smile. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

“I…” My gaze drops to my feet. “I can’t do this with you.”

There’s a long, horrible pause.

“What?” He sounds confused.

I force myself to look at him. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be here with you anymore.”

He sits up. “Gemma, what are you talking about?”

“I hardly knew what was happening when you said we were leaving New York. There was no time to think. I made a mistake.”

“You don’t mean that. Why are you saying this shit?”

My hands are trembling. I link my fingers behind my back. “It’s the truth. I can’t live on the run with you for the rest of my life. I can’t abandon Vale and Cleo. I don’t want this.”