Wish You Were Her(41)

“Just give him a chance,” Grace said.

Allegra shook her head, too shaken by the prospect. They had argued too often, snarled at each other one too many times. He thought she was a joke. One or two nice moments did not erase the many that had made her humbly aware of what he really thought of her. She didn’t care if her mind had occasionally replayed those nice moments before going to sleep. She didn’t want to think about the pang of relief she felt that her pen-pal was not Simon. She couldn’t focus on any of that. She needed to escape.

But she turned and dashed to the cafe entrance.

“Good girl,” Grace called.

As Allegra stepped inside, the smell of burning candles welcomed her. The lights were dim and the chatter was muted. It was a perfect meeting point for two autistics. She just wished they had each known about the other.

She approached Jonah as if in a trance, and when he looked up, her own panic was suddenly evident on his face. He stared at her, his eyes raking up and down her body, as though seeing her for the very first time.

“Allegra?”

And Allegra Brooks, having learned to hide so well, was unable to give up this little piece of herself. It was just too hard. Vulnerability is the chip one has to play into the game if one wants the cards to come out right, but Allegra held her chips close and refused to bet.

She had disguised herself so well within the emails: some girl from out of town with a job in social media. She had been careful to cover her tracks.

She acted quickly.

“Are you here to meet some girl?” The words sounded ugly. She wished them undone as soon as they were said.

Jonah stared up at her. “Yes.”

“Well,” Allegra was good at improvising. Actors had to be. “We just got a call at the bookshop. Sounded like a young woman. Said she was meeting one of the booksellers at Pete’s Cafe. Or she was supposed to. She got stuck, out of town. Something to do with her job and a client. Asked me to apologize on her behalf, but she has to reschedule.”

She expected to see relief in Jonah’s face, she knew she was the last person he would want as his mystery girl, but he gave nothing away.

“Are you who she meant?” Allegra asked, her voice shaking but her gaze unblinking. “Or is that message for Simon?”

A part of her wondered if she had still somehow got it wrong. She hoped against hope that he was here by some strange accident.

“No, it’s for me.” He said it in his deep, hard-to-read voice and they stared at one another. Allegra couldn’t even begin to identify her emotions.

She just knew it stung.

“So, you have an out-of-town girlfriend?”

He scowled. “No. More like … a pen-pal.”

“You’ve never met each other?” She made her face look casual as they stared each other down.

“No.” Jonah looked on edge as he answered her rapid-fire questions. “Tonight was … going to be the first time.”

“Why have you never mentioned her?”

It came out far more accusingly than she meant it to.

“Because we’re just two people who have been emailing. Why would I mention it? It’s not like you and I are friends, Allegra.”

Allegra knew this was the perfect moment to bow out, to wish him well and then head to the launch party without even an afterthought.

Instead, she sat down in the seat across from him.

Allegra looked like a goddess. A surprisingly angry one.

Jonah had been wondering what his mystery girl would sound like when the actress had walked through the cafe door. He had been too stunned by her appearance to be embarrassed by the fact that she had stumbled across his would-be date with a stranger. He was taking in her dress as she told him that his friend was unable to make it. Her long hair, the breeze of her perfume and the way the dress was cut. He had barely a moment to process what she was saying.

When she sat across from him, disorientation turned into familiar prickliness.

“You don’t need to keep me company,” he snapped.

“Oh, I know,” she snapped back. “I’m curious, though. How long have you been conversing with this … person?”

“A while,” he answered stonily. “Not that it’s your business.”

“So, that’s why you and Simon are so possessive of that ancient computer. Exchanging romantic correspondence with anonymous strangers.”

“Simon can’t draft our press releases, let alone love letters.”

“And yet he was the one I expected to find here.”

The words startled both of them.

“After receiving her message,” Allegra added quickly. “She wasn’t able to say which one of you the message was for. But I thought it would be Simon.”

He glared. “You assumed it would be Simon?”

“Yes,” Allegra snapped defensively. “He’s … always by the computer.”

It was a weak justification and they both knew it.

“I don’t know who she is,” Jonah admitted, his tone contemplative. He peered up at her. “What was she like?”

Allegra blanched. “Sorry?”

“What did she sound like? How did she seem?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, avoiding his gaze. “Normal, I guess. I wasn’t really taking notes.”