Wish You Were Her(49)

They watched George’s feet cross the shopfloor and listened to him as he whistled jauntily. He moved straight through the door that led up to his and Allegra’s apartment, too distracted by his own thoughts to see their feet or the books on the floor. Before she could even process his arrival, Allegra felt her phone ringing. There was no tone, just vibration, and it was enough to push her into sensory overload, given everything else that she was feeling. She rolled onto her back beneath the table of books and answered it.

“Hey. I’m almost home. I’ll be up in a minute.”

She spoke very softly and Jonah leaned over to press his mouth between her breasts. She almost gasped and almost grimaced in a mixture of pleasure and anxiety.

“All right,” George said, his voice happily tired and oblivious. “Be safe.”

“Yes,” she said, trying not to sound breathy as she pulled Jonah on top of her. “Bye.”

She dropped the phone with a thud and pulled Jonah’s mouth back to hers.



* * *



Jonah was finding it hard to breathe. He was living out the daydreams he had not even allowed himself to look directly at. The dreams that were logged away and unacknowledged, because coming out of them would be too painful.

Allegra was beneath him and she could no doubt feel how much he wanted her.

He wanted to apologize again, for letting his attraction morph into defensiveness. He wanted to tell her that he liked the pieces of her that she revealed when she didn’t know anyone was watching. He liked the Allegra he saw with George over lunch. The way she would take the baby tomatoes out of his salad because she knew her father didn’t like them. The way she read picture books when she was organizing the children’s section. He liked so many things about her, things that the rest of the world knew nothing about.

He didn’t want them to know.

“Go on then,” she said breathily, letting her knees fall to either side of her. “Get your immunity.”

Jonah paused. He blinked at her beautiful face in the darkness. “What?”

“Isn’t that what this is? You’re getting me out of your system?”

He was confused. And then he panicked, wondering if he had misread her. “If you don’t want this, Allegra, we’ll stop immediately—”

“No, I do,” she sighed, pulling him back onto her. “But let’s not pretend it’s something it’s not. I’m like the common cold, remember. Just something to get over.”

Horror slowly took the place of desire and arousal. “You … you know about that?”

“Grace and I couldn’t help overhearing.”

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“I told Kerrie not to—”

“She didn’t, we overheard, like I said.”

“How much did you overhear?” He reached down to touch her face, his eyes searching her face for answers.

She looked into his eyes for a brief moment and then glanced away. “Not much.”

Jonah tried to read her face. “I don’t understand.”

“If we’re going to do this, let’s do it.”

“Allegra, I want you but not on the floor of the shop. You can come back to my place.”

A flash of something vulnerable crossed her face and she looked up at him briefly. “That’ll just complicate things, Jonah.”

He felt his expression harden. “I want to complicate things.”

“No, you want me out of your system. So, let’s go.”

Jonah shook his head. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean that.”

“Actually, you know what,” she wriggled out from beneath him and leaped to her feet. “Better not. Your email friend might get jealous.”

Jonah was ashamed to admit to himself that he had barely thought of his pen-pal. Partly because he was still feeling resentful about sitting alone in Pete’s Cafe without a real explanation. Mostly because as soon as he had allowed himself to think about Allegra in the way he had denied himself for weeks, everything else had gone away.

“Allegra…”

A light was suddenly switched on and they both blinked in astonishment, turning instinctively to the apartment entrance. George stood at the bottom of the stairs, glancing between the two of them.

“Jonah,” he finally said. “Is everything all right? It’s late.”

There was no retribution or even admonishment in the man’s tone. Just bewilderment.

“I was just letting Allegra know that she’ll be working with me on the main stage tomorrow,” he said, turning to eye Allegra with a silent promise. She glared back at him but did not say anything.

“Oh,” George said. “Good. But—”

“See you tomorrow, Allegra.” Jonah’s tone spoke of a refusal to return to their previous dynamic. “We have a lot to discuss in the morning.”

And reluctantly, but with a newly found spring of determination, he left.

[email protected]

to: [email protected]

Subject: I’m Sorry

Dear Jonah,

A longer email, now. I’m sorry. My clients kept me away from Lake Pristine. I know it’s not an excuse. I’m sorry you were made to feel like you were alone. I’m ashamed you were stood up. I wish I could explain properly.