I checked my phone the whole day, expecting a text from her inviting me to her house. Maybe asking if I wanted to grab a bite to eat or even just to check in on when I was free to go jogging again.
And according to Timmy, the girls he knows like to instigate the making of plans. It抯 a power move梩o show they抮e independent and in control. I didn抰 want to deprive Violet of the chance to do that.
But no text or call ever came. Not that day or the one after.
Once you抮e in a solid relationship, women get off on knowing a guy is pussywhipped. It抯 a confidence booster; it makes them feel secure that you抮e not going to go screwing around.
But timing is everything. Coming off too pussywhipped too soon is pathetic and an instant attraction killer.
But as the days progress, things between me and Violet start to feel . . . off.
Different.
Wrong.
Violet and I don抰 go jogging together again for the next two weeks. Eventually, I bite the bullet and text casual offers, but she declines, saying she抯 busy梐nd canceling twice on me after initially saying yes.
We don抰 sit together at lunch, or talk and joke around at the hospital in between cases. She seems preoccupied. Standoffish.
One morning on the way into the hospital, I stop at the corner coffee shop and grab the fancy frapp?machi-bullshit-latte thing she likes to drink.
Violet抯 behind the nurses?station, typing on the computer when I walk in. And I jump at the opportunity to watch her when she doesn抰 know it.
She抯 wearing her glasses today梩hick, square, black frames that I imagine sliding gently off her face so I can kiss her long and deep. My tongue tingles with the fantasy, because I can still taste her. Sweet and hot and stunning. I remember how she felt all wrapped around me, her arms and hands pulling and pressing梙er sexy, throaty little sounds梙er pussy so tight and snug and wet, it was like I saw the face of God when I came.
One of the nurses says something to Vi that I can抰 hear, making her lips twitch. And a wrecking ball of longing nails me right in the chest. Because I miss talking to her. I miss her smile, her laugh. I miss her梡eriod.
I grip the cup tighter in my hand and shake my head.
Pull it together, Daniels. Be cool.
揌ey.?
揌i.?She smiles梑ut it抯 brittle and guarded and all frigging wrong.
I hold out the large paper cup.
揑 swung by Magnifique Coffee this morning and grabbed this for you.?
揟hat was nice.?She takes the cup. 揟hanks, Connor.?
And it feels like a victory. A small victory, sure, but even Everest gets climbed one step at a time.
Then Violet walks out from behind the nurses?station and drops the cup directly into the garbage. It lands at the bottom with a dull, flat thud . . . like my hopes.
揃ut I抦 trying to cut back on the caffeine.?
I nod slowly. 揜ight.?
And she walks away without looking back.
Great. Perfect.
Fuck.
A week after that, I run into her at the high school when I show up a little early to pick up Brayden from the obligatory pre-freshman-year summer tour. Spencer and I are hanging out on the bleachers when I spot Violet抯 unmistakable form jogging around the track.
I intercept her on the asphalt. 揌ey. What are you doing here??
She stops running, brushing her damp bangs back from her forehead, and shrugs. 揑 just felt like I needed a change from the trails. It抯 smooth pavement here, you know? No unexpected bumps or potholes to trip me up.?
And she抯 looking at me in the way women do when they抮e saying one thing but mean something totally different梐nd they expect you to read their minds.
I didn抰 think Violet was one of those women . . . but I guess I was wrong.
She glances down at Spencer and her whole demeanor changes. Her eyes go from distant and lifeless to affectionate and bubbly. And her smile is genuine梥uffused with her natural warmth.
揌ey, Spencer. How are you doing? It抯 good to see you.?
揌i, Violet! You know that babysitting position is still open. Are you still 憇eeing??
揧es.?She laughs gently, and jealousy flays me to the bone. Jealous of my own kid梩hat抯 not messed up, is it? 揑抦 still seeing.?
Violet lifts her face to mine梐nd we抮e back to the dead eyes again.
揥ell, I should finish my run. See you around, Connor. Or not. You know . . . whatever.?
*
揟hose are some serious thoughts for a Sunday morning,?Tim tells me from across the kitchen table. 揑 can hear you thinking from here.?
Garrett focuses his attention on me. Because the gang抯 all here at my parents?house for the traditional weekly family bagel breakfast.
揧ou do seem kind of . . . broody.?
揧eah,?Ryan agrees, 揥ho pissed in your copy of The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield??
Garrett gives Ryan an odd look. 揟hat抯 very literary of you.?
Ryan shrugs. 揑 was helping Josephina with her English paper last night.?
揧eah, she抯 got Dillinger for English梙e抯 a total slacker. He hasn抰 updated his reading list since 1995.?
揌ello.?Angela waves at them from the other end of the table. 揅an we focus, please? And find out why Connor is more sullen than my teenage daughter梐nd pray to gawd that it doesn抰 have anything to do with the cutie he brought to Dean抯 wedding? I liked her.?
揑 like Violet too,?Callie adds, because my love life is always up for a family vote. 揧ou two seemed like you really hit it off, and she was great with the boys.?
I sigh and resign myself to spilling my guts. My sisters-in-law are the best, but their interest is like the jaws of a rottweiler梠nce they latch on, they never let go.
揑t is about her, actually. Things were going good after the wedding. We were jogging together, texting, I thought we were on the same page. But now . . . ?
I leave out the sex part. Sitting at my parents?kitchen table discussing my sex life is too weird.
?. . . she抯 not really talking to me anymore. Like, at all.?
揗aybe she抯 playing hard to get,?Tim suggests. 揝he knows you took the bait so now she抯 jerking the line to set the hook deeper. You should ignore her. Or insult her梚nsults would be better.?
揑nsult her??I ask, like he抯 lost his mind.
揇efinitely. Negging works like a boss.?
揘o. Violet抯 not like that.?
揟hey抮e all like that, bro.?He thinks about it further. 揅ould also be she抯 actually blowing you off. Girls do that all the time梚t抯 the nature of the beast. She抯 probably been 慾ogging?with two other guys on the side.?
揌old the phone.?Angy puts out her hand. 揥hy are you taking advice from Timmy about dating? Or . . . anything??
揑 resent that,?my youngest brother says.
揌e抯 the same age as Violet,?I tell her. 揂nd he抯 single. None of you have been single for years. It抯 a fucking jungle out there.?
Angy is already shaking her head. 揟immy has a type. He dates girls. Young, morally questionable, not the brightest bulbs in the box棓
揝moking hot . . . ?Tim interjects.
摋naive girls.?Angela finishes. 揤iolet is a woman. I knew it the minute I laid eyes on her. And no woman in her right mind would blow off a man like you for no reason.?
She folds her arms梘oing full Brooklyn.
揥hat抎 you do??
揑 didn抰 do anything,?I scoff.
Ryan and Garrett laugh. Full on cracking up. Garrett wipes at his eyes.
揟hat抯 hilarious.?
揧ou guys are kind of dicks, you know that, right??I tell them.
Ryan gestures around the table. 揙ur single days may be ancient history, but if that抯 what you actually believe, you抳e been single too long.?