Callie slides in with the final piece of the puzzle.
揧ou might not think you did anything wrong, Connor, but she definitely thinks you did something wrong.?
The back of my neck gets itchy and hot under their stares.
揥ell . . . there was one thing. Possibly.?
揌ere we go,?Ryan quips.
And Angela raises her eyebrows expectantly.
揥e hooked up,?I admit. 揂nd I woke up afterward and she was sleeping, so . . . I left.?
Tim laughs like an ass, clapping his hands.
And I know immediately I抦 screwed.
揟hat抯 great!?
揘o.?Callie shoots him a stern teacher look. 揟hat抯 really not great.?
揕egendary,?Timmy insists. 揝he must抳e been so pissed off.?
揥hat are you talking about??I ask him. 揑 don抰 want to piss her off.?
揙f course you do. Dodge and duck, leave and come back, run and she will chase. She won抰 be able to tell which end is up. That抯 how the game is played.?
I look my youngest brother in the face.
揤iolet isn抰 a game, Tim. She抯 important to me.?
Finally, he gets it. And his face goes smooth with understanding.
揙h.?And then he looks worried. 揧ou might have a problem, then.?
Son of a bitch.
揕isten,?Angy says, inching forward in her seat. 揑t抯 not that complicated. If you want to screw around and play the field, you listen to Timmy. If you want a mature, honest relationship with this woman梱ou only have to trust your heart. What does your heart tell you, Connor??
My heart says Violet didn抰 appreciate me giving her space right after we had sex梞omentous, intimate, profound sex. My heart says it was wrong to tell her the next time I saw her that we could get together and do it again sometime, like it didn抰 mean anything to me. Like she didn抰 mean anything.
My heart抯 telling me I抦 definitely the asshole in this equation.
The question is梬hat am I going to do about it now?
*
The next day, the answer becomes clear. And it抯 lose my ever-loving shit, apparently.
Because Violet is going out with another guy. He抯 here, right now, picking her up from work.
I can see them through the glass window, in the rear parking lot near the staff entrance to the ED. He抯 tall with dark hair and seems on the young side, a couple years younger than Violet. She runs toward him, smiling huge and giddily梩he way she used to smile at me梐nd throws her arms around his neck, letting him hug her close, practically lifting her off her feet.
And something tears loose inside me梥naps in half條eaving any inclination I had to proceed with caution on the trauma room floor with the rest of the medical waste.
Even the double glass doors get the hell out of my way.
Okay梱es, they抮e sliding glass doors with a sensor.
But even if they weren抰梩hey抎 open for me now. Such is the raging level of my pissed-off-ness.
揧ou have got to be fucking kidding me.?
Violet turns my way, all round bewildered eyes and puffy parted lips that make me want to kiss her and never stop.
揈xcuse me??
揧ou抳e spent weeks giving me the cold shoulder, barely talking to me, canceling on me, throwing out my coffee, and not even looking at me unless you have to for work. And now you抮e out here all warm and huggy with this douchebag??
Yeah, that抯 right, I said it.
Doo-hoosh Ba-hag. Prove me wrong.
Holding my gaze, Violet tells doucheboy in a careful, level tone, 揇arren, can you please wait棓
That抯 when I start to lose it.
揇arren? His name is Darren?! Like the husband from Bewitched? What are you gonna do? Are you gonna棓 I make a stupid tinkling sound and twitch my nose back and forth with my finger the way the blond housewife witch used to on the old TV show.
And I take it back梚t抯 obvious I抳e already completely lost it.
But does that mean when Darren decides to grow a pair and steps up to me with his chest puffed out, that I back down? Fuck no.
揥ho the hell are you??
I get in his face. 揧ou want to know who I am??
I抦 the guy who抯 about to remove his head from his shoulders and shove it up his ass. I抦 a goddamn physician桰 know just how to do it.
He jabs a finger at me. 揘o梠n second thought桰 don抰 give a shit who you are. If you ever talk to my sister like that棓
Cue the record scratch.
I抦 sure whatever he continues to say is riveting and impressively threatening, but the entire universe of my existence stops at the word. 揝ister??
Violet steps between us, her mouth cinched into a tight, glossy bow, her eyes shooting sparks梐nd if I thought she was beautiful before梘ood God, when she抯 pissed, she抯 stunning.
揧es, Connor梥ister. Aka, the douchebag棓
揌ey!?Darren objects.
摋is my brother!?
I fold my arms across my chest.
揙h.?
And I lift my chin, to at least try and give the appearance of dignity considering I抳e incinerated any shred of mine with a nuclear blast.
揥ell . . . this is awkward.?
A hot, growly sound comes from Violet抯 throat and she exhales violently out of her nose, like a pretty bull about to charge. She grabs my forearm and drags me a few steps over into the shadow of the hospital building.
揥hat the hell is wrong with you, Connor??
揑 thought you were dating him.?
揂nd so what if I was?! Why do you care?!?
Shame slithers down the back of my neck like cold KY. Because I have screwed this up so bad. Frustration makes my fists clench and my words brusque.
揑 care because we used to be running partners梬e were friends梐nd now we抮e not. And it抯 messed up that you just棓
I stop myself short. Because none of that is real. It抯 just an excuse梛ust fear and defensiveness梐nd it抯 not even close to all the things I want to tell her.
The things I need to tell her.
揘o梐ctually, that抯 bullshit. The truth is . . . I like you, Violet. I like you so fucking much. And I miss you.?
Vi peers at me, her voice dropping to a shocked whisper.
揧ou do??
揅hrist, yes. That night between us was incredible and perfect and I woke up next to you, and you were so damn beautiful, and I . . . completely freaked out.?
揧ou did??
I nod. 揃ecause it抯 been forever since I抳e felt about anyone the way I feel about you. So I left. And I have regretted it every second since I walked out your door.?
Her head tilts and her eyes seem a little dazed.
揧ou have??
揧eah, Vi. I have.?
She shakes her head quickly.
揃ut . . . but it抯 been weeks. Why didn抰 you say anything??
I toss the dating book info and the website guidance and every stupid piece of advice Tim has ever given me into the mental garbage dumpster of my mind.
Because this thing with Violet梚t could crush me桰 can already feel it. It could wreck me if it doesn抰 work out. Hurt me in a way that not even my marriage ending ever did.
But . . . she抯 really worth the risk.
揃ecause you抮e all I think about. And if I asked you for a second chance and you said no, I didn抰 know what I was going to do. But if I didn抰 ask yet, then there was still hope that I could fix it. There was still a chance you would棓
I don抰 get another word out.
Because Violet grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me to her, pressing her sweet, pillowy lips hard against mine. And any thought that抯 not about how fucking good she tastes is gone from my mind.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer, feeing her soft and supple body, finally, after so long. Our tongues slide and tangle in an almost frantic reunion, before I cup her jaw and kiss her more gently. Until we抮e standing, with our foreheads pressed together and our lips still touching, slowly breathing each other in.