I slice my hand down梐nd that抯 when I notice my date抯 skin has a mint-chocolate-chip-ish hue梡asty pale and slightly green. But I抳e gone too far to stop now, might as well finish the story.
I lower my hands to my lap. 揃ut it was only a temporary fix. When the surgeon got in there, she had to棓
Evan turns away, cutting me off midsentence. Then he lifts his finger toward our waiter.
揅heck, please.?
*
And that is how I end up back home alone. Before 9 p.m. On a Saturday night.
It抯 becoming a trend. And I don抰 really care. Sometimes I worry that I probably should care, because I抦 in the prime of my life with my biological clock tick-ticking away. Blah, blah, blah.
But then . . . I just don抰。
In my defense梞y house is the fucking bomb, and there抯 no place else I抎 rather be. It抯 a completely adorable one-bedroom cottage, next to the lake with ivy up the south wall and these arched doorways and built-in shelves, with a stone fireplace that抯 straight out of a storybook. It抯 like living in Snow White抯 cottage without the burden of the seven dwarfs. I got a pretty decent rate on the mortgage, all things considered, and in twenty-nine short years, this baby will be all mine.
And though I live alone, 搇onely?is not in my nature.
I set my wineglass on the kitchen table next to my laptop, pull up the FaceTime app with the tap of a few buttons, and the beautiful faces of two of my closest college friends桝ubrey Stewart and Presley Cabot梐ppear.
I was only at Boyer University for my first year before I had to go back home to Delaware when my mom got sick. I transferred to a local community college and ended up going into nursing梑ut the months I spent tucked away in Port Hudson, New York, were some of the best of my adolescence.
I was a member of Ladies Who Write梐 sisterhood of girls, like a sorority, who loved writing. After college, Presley, Aubrey, and Libby Warren formed LWW Enterprises, a multimedia corporation based out of Port Hudson. We抳e all stayed in touch梠ur friendship strong.
Aubrey抯 hazel eyes scan over the navy-sweatpants, gray T-shirt-wearing, braless wonder that is me.
揥hy are you home so early??
I shrug, sipping my crisp, very alcoholic beverage. 揑t was a bust. There was no chemistry.?
Presley glances at her wrist. 揧ou were out with . . . what was his name? Brad, Chad??
揈van.?
揅lose enough. You were out with Evan for barely two hours. That抯 not enough time to tell if there抯 chemistry.?
揑t was for us. He felt it too. He didn抰 even ask if I wanted coffee or dessert. It was the main course and wam-bam-check-please.?
Her eyes narrow perceptively.
揧ou told him the twisted ball story, didn抰 you??
揘ot again, Violet,?Aubrey groans.
揑t抯 a good story!?
揥e talked about this.?Presley抯 thick dark hair sways on her shoulder as she reprimands me like the big sister I always wish I had. 揧ou抮e self-sabotaging. Pushing these guys away before they get a chance to know you and using swollen testicles to do it.?
揇iscussing a patient抯 scrotum splitting open is not first date material!?Aubrey adds.
Nolan, Presley抯 boyfriend gets up from the couch behind them.
揂nd on that note, I抦 going to see what抯 taking Knox so long in the kitchen.?
From off-screen, Knox抯 voice calls out, 揃abe, not the nut story again.?
Aubrey calls back, 揟hat抯 what I said! See,?she tells me, 揺ven Knox nixed the nut story, and that man isn抰 shy about anything.?
揌e asked me about interesting cases!?I defend myself. 揂nd Connor said he抎 never棓
揂nd there it is.?Presley points at the screen. 揟here抯 your real problem. Connor Daniel-itis strikes again. You抳e had it for months. Years.?
I moved to Lakeside two years ago for a full-time emergency department nursing position at Lakeside Memorial. Except for those few months at Boyer, it was the first time I抎 lived outside Delaware. I didn抰 know anyone. Didn抰 know anything about the town梟ot where the grocery store was or which gas station had the lowest prices or if the local pizza parlor had thin crust or regular.
My first day at the hospital wasn抰 easy. Everything seemed too bright, too cold梔ifferent and uncomfortable.
And ED nurses aren抰 exactly known for being a sunshiny welcoming group.
I mean, they get there eventually梩he friendships, the camaraderie梐nd when they do, there抯 no one else on earth you抎 want having your back. But it takes time. Because you need to show that you have what it takes to do the job, that you can be depended on. And the truth is, most of the time nurses are just too damn busy taking care of our patients to put in the extra effort to be nice.
By the end of my first shift, a bitchy doubting voice in my head was telling me I抎 made a terrible mistake. That I should scurry back to my hometown like a mouse to its hole. Because that was the safe option, the easy option.
And I almost believed her . . . until I turned around.
And ran smack into a wide, firm chest that would rival Superman抯。 Every version of him.
I bounced back and would抳e fallen on my ass梑ut he caught me. Gripping my arms with big, strong hands in a hold that was firm but perfectly gentle at the same time.
He looked down at me with velvety dark-brown eyes and asked if I was okay.
And then Connor Daniels smiled at me.
He has an amazing smile. Warm and easygoing, sure and steady梛ust the right amount of cocky梐nd more sexy than should be allowed.
His smile is like sunlight梚t makes you feel better, lighter, just because it抯 aimed at you. The kind of smile that lets you believe everything is okay, or it will be, because he can make it that way.
And it抯 like I imprinted on him or something.
Because ever since that moment, Lakeside has felt like home.
And I抳e been hopelessly crushing on Connor Daniels梞oronically so.
揅onnor Daniel-itis??I ask Presley. 揇id you just make that one up all by yourself??
She sticks her tongue out. 揑 am nothing if not creative. Have you told him you want in his scrubs yet??
揘o.?
揌ave you told him that you like him??Aubrey asks. 揟hat you find him attractive? Asked him out for coffee after work like a grown-up??
My throat tightens at the thought.
揙f course not! What if he said yes? I抎 probably end up spilling hot coffee on his crotch and then he抎 need skin grafts. I turn into a total klutz around him梐 danger to myself and others.?
It抯 humiliating. Normally I抦 quite graceful梠r at least functionally coordinated. But the second Connor is in my orbit outside of a work-related interaction, my limbs and brain go haywire . . . everything short-circuits.
Case in point:
揝peaking of Connor, I ran into him and his brothers in the ShopRite parking lot today.?
揜eally??Presley asks, her eyes wide and intrigued.
揜eally. He said hello in that deep, perfect voice and I . . . proceeded to crash my cart, fall on my face, and scatter my groceries all over the parking lot like confetti at a ticker-tape parade.?
揙h no.?Aubrey flinches.
揙h yes.?I nod. 揟hey helped me pick everything up, which was nice. Connor touched my tampons梘rabbed the box out from under old Mrs. Jenkinsons抯 car and handed it to me.?
Presley presses her fingers to her forehead. 揧ikes.?
I don抰 tell them the box in question is currently sitting on a shelf in my bedroom. Or that I抦 going to save it the way some people save concert tickets or corsages . . . because even among friends, that detail is one crazy-bridge too far.