And him.
Him.
Standing in the middle of the carnage was our father.
My gear bag slipped off my shoulder, and the noise it made when it clattered to the floor seemed to awaken me from the trance-like daze I was suffocating in.
My throat felt like it had closed up.
My heart shriveled up and died in my chest.
My gaze flicked to Shannon once more, and the pain I felt when I took in the sight of her mangled body was too much to take.
It was all too fucking much.
“You fucking bastard!” The words tore from my lips like a battle cry, and I felt myself moving, barreling straight for him, my heart demanding vengeance. “You dirty fucking animal.”
“Joey, wait!”
I didn’t wait.
I couldn’t.
“Hit me.” Taking him to the ground with more force than I knew I was capable of I slammed his head against the hard tiles before quickly climbing back up and dragging the worthless piece of shit with me. “Come on, asshole. Hit someone your own fucking size.”
“Joey, please don’t—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I roared, losing my fucking mind when she tried to speak to me. My sister was lying in a heap on the floor and instead of going to her, she was trying to protect him. “You are the most pathetic excuse for a mother that ever walked the earth.”
Spitting piss and fire, he reared back and socked me in the jaw with his beefy fist. “You little shit.”
“Did you see that?” I demanded, not even feeling the pain now, as I glared at our mother. I knew it should hurt, his fist was like a goddamn bulldozer, but adrenalin was flooding my system, giving me strength, I had no right to possess. “Did you see him hit me?”
“I’ll put manners on you yet, boy,” Dad slurred, throwing another punch, but this time he missed, giving me giving me ample opportunity to return the gesture.
“Can’t you see what he’s doing to your children?” My fist connected with the bridge of his nose causing blood to spray all over the both of us, as he collapsed in a heap on his ass. “Are you fucking blind?”
“Joey, stop,” I heard my sister strangle out, but it was too late for words. “He’s not worth going to prison over.”
Because I couldn’t stop.
Not until I made him stop.
Forever.
He needed to be stopped.
I needed to make it all fucking stop.
“Joey, stop,” Mam begged. “You’re going to kill him.”
“Good!” My fists kept swinging of their own accord, in a frenzied blur of reckoning, as my knuckles ripped open and bled all over the both of us. As I let my heart do the thinking for once and finished him off.
If I did time for it, so be it.
Someone had to end this.
It had to be me.
“Joey, you…promised…” A small hand pulled at my arm, breaking my concentration. “You promised you’d…never…leave…me…”
Shannon’s voice broke through the red haze in my mind and I jerked backwards, letting my hands falls to my sides, as my sister’s voice continued to seep into my fucked-up brain.
Shannon.
Thump, thump, thump.
Shannon.
Thump, thump, thump.
Shannon.
Thump, thump, thump.
Numb to the bone, and with my mind reeling, I abruptly climbed off my father and stepped away.
“Teddy, oh god, Teddy,” Mam cried, rushing to his side. “What have you done?”
And there it was.
There she was.
Running straight to him.
It broke me.
Whatever held me together these past eighteen years splintered and spliced.
Eyes wild, I looked around me, trying to make sense of the war zone we had been raised in. The war zone I was standing in.
Blood and tears.
Pain and pressure.
It was too much.
“Ollie.” Turning my attention to where he was cowering beside Shannon, I crooked my finger and beckoned him. “Go upstairs and get Sean.”
Because I had no doubt that the baby was hiding under my bed.
I didn’t blame him.
I wanted to be under that bed with him.
“Why?”
“Because we’re leaving.” Trembling from head to toe, I said, “We are not staying in a house with that piece of shit a day longer.”
Thankfully, Ollie did as I asked, making a beeline for the stairs without the hint of hesitation.
“Tadhg. Go with Ollie.”
“But I—”
“Please,” I strangled out, chest heaving at the sight of the blood smeared all over his face. “Go upstairs and pack your bags, kid.”
After a ten second stare down, he relented and hurried for the stairs.
Only when the smaller children were out of sight could I focus on my sister.
I didn’t want to.
I wanted to run away and hide, but I forced myself to take in the sight of her mangled body.
“You’re okay,” I lied, dropping to my knees beside her, feeling more broken in this moment than any other in my living memory. “I’m here.” I gently lifted her into my arms. “I’m here, Shan.”
She slumped against me like a rag doll and panic seared me because I just knew that this time was worse.
This time, he’d damaged her worse than ever.
“You’re bleeding.” Mam was wailing. “Oh god, Teddy.”
That was all it took.
Those words were all it took for me to lose ahold of the small shrivel of self-restraint I had managed to garner. “Are you fucking blind? She is bleeding. Shannon. Your daughter!”
“Shannon.” Blinking rapidly like she was coming out of some sort of haze, Mam’s expression caved. “Oh baby, your face.”
“Don’t you dare oh baby her,” I snapped, carefully lifting my sister to her feet.
She wobbled and slumped against me like a newborn baby foal, and her lack of balance and coordination only increased my panic.
Because this was bad.
This was so fucking bad.
“You’re okay,” I continued to coax, as I carried her over to the table and set her down on a chair. “You’re okay. I’m here.” Snatching up a tea-towel, I pressed it to the side of her face where most of the blood seemed to be coming from. “I’m right here, Shan.”
“Shannon, I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t fucking speak to her, creep!” I roared, taking a protective stance in front of the chair my sister was slumped on when that bastard tried to speak to her. “I will kill you. Do ya hear me? I will slit your fucking throat if you so much as look at my sister again!”
How dare he look at her?
How dare he fucking say he didn’t mean to hurt her?
Everything that man had ever done had been orchestrated with intentional malice and cruelty.
He was only sorry now because he knew as well as I did that he had gone too far this time.
He did something in this kitchen that couldn’t be hidden or buried.
It was over for him, and the bastard knew it.
Instead of feeling glad about that, I felt on edge.
Because Teddy Lynch was never more dangerous and unpredictable than when he was cornered, and right now, the bastard was backed in deep.
The boys returned to the kitchen a few moments later with their backpacks laden down with clothes and toys and I sagged in relief to see Sean’s unmarked face.