Wrestling my anxiety into a manageable portion, I set to work on applying a full face of make up and running the curling tongs through my hair, deciding on loose beach-wave curls for school today.
I was rummaging around in my crappy back-up make-up bag, the one that housed all of the reject items from unwanted beauty sets from birthdays and Christmas, looking for a bronzing palette, and mentally cursing myself for not buying two of every product that I used, when a pair of familiar tattooed forearms came around my waist, dragging me back against an even more familiar chest.
“On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you with me?”
“Holy shit, Joe,” I choked out, coming close to calling bullshit on the whole not being able to jump out of one’s skin, because I had come pretty damn close. “You couldn’t use the front door?”
“Why break the habit of a lifetime?” His lips brushed against my ear as he spoke, eyes locked on mine in the mirror in front of us. “And I would say nice legs, but that would be doing the rest of you a serious disservice.”
Smooth as sin, he let his hands wander from my waist to my hips, fingers dipping under the lace fabric of my knickers for the briefest of moments before letting the elastic waistband snap back into place, and returning his hands to my hips. “Nice everything, Molloy.”
The move caused every muscle south of my navel to coil tight in lustful anticipation. “Thanks.”
“So? On a scale of one to ten?”
My eyelids fluttered shut of their own accord; an inevitable reaction to this boy’s touch, and I let out a shaky breath. “Eleven.”
“Yeah.” His lips brushed my neck and he inhaled deeply before releasing a heavy sigh. “I figured.”
Like a lamb to the slaughter, I leaned heavily against him, as my body reveled in the feel of his hands on my skin. “That’s all you have to say for yourself?”
“I’m an asshole,” he offered, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I’m undeserving.” He switched sides and kissed my other cheek. “I’m sorry.” Another kiss to the curve of my jaw. “I love you.”
“You don’t remember any of it, do you?” I asked, turning around just in time to receive the soft kiss he pressed to the corner of my mouth. “What we talked about yesterday?”
“I remember that I fucked up.”
I rolled my eyes. “You always fuck up.”
“Hey.” Taking my face between his hands, he leaned in close, clear green eyes locked on mine. “I mean it.” Nuzzling my nose with his, he pressed a kiss to the tip and sighed. “I’m sorry for yesterday.”
“Which part?”
“The part where your asshole boyfriend made you cry.”
“Yeah?” Hating how much I loved his attention and feeling lightheaded from how desperately my body craved his touch, I leaned into his hands, feeling helplessly hooked. “Well, if you see the prick around, make sure you tell him that I don’t forgive him.”
“You shouldn’t.” He stroked my nose with his again. “I hear he’s a fuck up.”
“Such a fuck up,” I agreed, reciprocating his kiss when his lips lightly brushed against mine. “If it wasn’t for that big damn dick of his, I’d drop his ass.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-huh.” I nodded. “It’s all about the dick for me.”
“Then it’s lucky for him that he knows how to use his dick, huh?” he teased, lips hovering close to mine, as he dragged my body flush against his. “And his fingers.” My breath hitched when his hand slipped beneath the waistband of my knickers. “And his tongue.”
And just like that, I melted like a goddamn fool against him, lips moving against his in a kiss that sent my already frazzled hormones into overdrive.
Fully aware that he was as dangerous to my mind as the drugs were to his, I broke the kiss before I fell any deeper into my feelings.
Into him.
Pulling back before I lost myself entirely in him, I placed my hands on his chest to steady myself and said, “You’re not getting away with it that easily.”
“Never thought I was.”
“Why are you even here? I thought we were meeting at school, like usual?”
“Because I needed to apologize,” he explained, once again using his thumb to wipe my second-hand lip-gloss from his mouth, before strolling over to my window and climbing back out through it.
A few seconds ticked by before his school bag came flying through my window, followed by his hurley, helmet, and the over-night bag I’d left at his house.
“Did you bring my necklace?” I asked, watching as he deftly climbed back through my window. “I feel like I’ve been walking around naked without it.”
“Got it,” he replied, retrieving the silver chain from his pocket, as he closed the space between us. “Turn around.”
Obliging, I lifted my hair away from my neck, while he fastened the clasp. “Thanks, stud.”
“Anytime, queen.”
“You’re still in trouble.”
“Aren’t I always?” he muttered, pressing a soft kiss to the curve of my neck before walking over to my bed and sinking down. “Okay. I’m all ears.”
“Huh?”
“You wanted to talk.” He leaned back on his elbows, looking way too familiar with my bed – and way too fucking sexy. “Let’s talk.”
“True,” I replied, anxiety fluttering to life inside of me, as I quickly closed the buttons of my shirt. “But you were supposed to come over last night to talk.” I paused to frown. “Which is clearly something else you forgot about.”
“Well, I’m here now, so we might as well get it over it.”
“Get it…over with?” I heard myself pant out breathlessly, unable to hide the near-hysteria threatening to overtake me.
“Talk, Molloy,” he said. “Let’s go.”
I wasn’t ready.
Unlike yesterday, when he was out of his mind on God knows what, my boyfriend was sitting on my bed, clear-headed, and looking at me expectantly.
Oh shit.
“It can wait,” I tried to buy myself more time by saying. “Until lunch, or after school, maybe?” I rambled nervously, hands flapping aimlessly. “After work is fine, too. Or Tomorrow. Hell, tomorrow’s good for me, too. It doesn’t have to be right this second.“
“Listen, I already know how this conversation is going to go,” Joey interrupted me by saying. “You’ve got shit to say to me, shit I deserve to hear, so just lay it on me.”
“Lay it on you?” Confusion swept through me. “Joe, I don’t think we’re on the same page here.“
“Yesterday,” he blurted out, expelling a heavy sigh and rubbing his jaw. “The way I was? What you saw? I know that I let you down, okay? I fucked up and I get that, but you don’t need to worry. It’s not like it was before, Molloy. I am not the same person that I was before Christmas, and I have no intention to going back to that place. I’ve got a handle on it this time, okay?”
Drugs.
He was talking about drugs.
And while his behavior yesterday certainly needed to be addressed, it wasn’t on the top of today’s fucked up agenda.