Her eyes widened. “So, you’ve only been with one girl?”
“I’ve only been in one girl’s bedroom,” I doubled down and repeated.
“Joey.” My sister narrowed her eyes. “That’s not the same thing.”
“Like you can talk,” I shot back, giving her back her earlier words. “How’d you get on in Mister Rugby’s bedroom the other week? I’m guessing this little day trip home from school has something to do with him?”
“Wh-what?”
“Don’t pull that shy card on me,” I chuckled. “I can read ya like a book.”
She nestled under my arm and sighed heavily. “I didn’t come home early because of Johnny.”
I stiffened. “Then who?”
“Bella Wilkinson.”
“What did she do?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Shannon replied, shaking her head. “Forget it.”
Frowning, I turned to look at her. “Did she hurt you?”
“No.”
“Call you names or something?”
She stiffened.
“So, she called you names?”
She nodded.
“What did she call you?”
“The usual,” she admitted quietly. “And then she made fun of me for coming from Elk’s Terrace.”
“Fucking bitch,” I growled, taking another deep drag before sitting up, feeling my temper rise. “You get why these girls target you, don’t ya?”
“Because they hate me.”
“Because they’re threatened by you,” I corrected. “Because goodness shines out of you, and they’re throwing shit to take that shine away. Don’t let them win, Shan.”
“How’s BCS going for you?” she asked, clearly trying to take the limelight off herself by steering the conversation towards me.
“School is school, Shan,” I replied, staring out the window. “Same shit, different day.”
“You know the real reason I’m home in the middle of the day,” she replied. “What’s your real reason, Joe?”
“Already told ya.” I shrugged and took another drag of my smoke. “I’m in the dog house.”
“Why do I feel like that’s not true?”
I shrugged. “I just couldn’t be bothered sticking around.”
“Why don’t you talk to me, Joe?” she asked then, tone laced with sadness. “I’m always confiding in you, but you never do the same.”
Because I can’t. Because you’d crumble. Because I need to protect you. “You know me, kid,” I replied, climbing off her bed, and moving for the window. I turned back and offered her a smile. “I’m bulletproof.”
She stared back at me, uncertain, for a long moment before whispering, “If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad?”
Pushing her window open, I took another drag of my smoke before flicking the butt away. “Depends.”
“Promise me, Joe.”
“Okay, I promise.”
Chewing on her bottom lip, my baby sister squirmed in discomfort before throwing her hands up and blurting out, “I kissed Johnny Kavanagh.”
Well, shit.
I wasn’t expecting that.
My brows shot up in surprise. “You kissed…”
“Johnny Kavanagh,” she filled in with a nod, cheeks reddening.
“Okay,” I replied slowly, as I tried to navigate this new fucking territory that my baby sister had unceremoniously thrown me into. This wasn’t a conversation she needed to be having with her older brother. This was an older sister conversation. Or a mother and daughter conversation. Instead, she was stuck with me. Fuck. My. Life. I could feel my buzz deserting me at a rapid rate. “Was that all you did with him?”
Please say yes.
Please Jesus, don’t tell me anything else.
“Yes,” she strangled out, nodding eagerly.
“When?”
“Monday night. At his house.”
“At his house?” I arched a brow. “Where in his house, exactly?”
“His bedroom.”
Now both my brows rose along with my blood pressure. “His bedroom?”
“But he didn’t kiss me back,” she blurted, wringing her hands together. “And I feel so embarrassed about the whole thing, Joe.”
“Why didn’t he kiss you back?”
“He said that it wouldn’t be fair to start anything up with me when he’s leaving soon.” She chewed on her lip, looking very young and uncertain. “But then he came over after school yesterday.”
“He came over.” My eyes widened. “Here. To this house.”
She nodded. “He helped me with my homework.”
“Did anything happen?”
“We hugged.”
I fought back the laugh that was threatening to escape me. “You hugged.”
“Uh-huh.”
Desperately trying to keep a straight face, I asked, “Was it a good hug?”
She sighed wistfully and clutched her chest. “It was the best hug I’ve ever had.”
Now, I did laugh.
“Joey!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Clearing my throat, I scrubbed my face with my hand and tried again. “So, the Dub gives good hugs, yeah?”
“Yes.” She gave another uncertain nod and shrugged helplessly. “But I wanted it to be more than just a hug because I just… I really like him, Joe. And then, today at lunch, he literally punched Bella’s boyfriend in the face because she was saying those mean things about me. But that scares me because you know how I feel about violence, but I’m not scared of him like that, you know? He’s a good person. I mean he's a really, really good person. Excellent, in fact. I can tell. And I like him, Joe. I like him so much it’s hard to breathe when he’s near me. But I just… and he won’t… and I don’t… oh god, help me!”
Jesus, I needed another smoke for this.
“You couldn’t have taken a shine to a lad from around here?” Shaking my head, I sank back down on her bed and sighed. “You had to pick the Irish international?”
She squirmed in discomfort. “I’m sorry?”
“Don’t be sorry, Shan,” I chuckled, rubbing my jaw. “You can’t help who you like. And for what it’s worth, I reckon he likes you too, kid.”
“What do I do, Joe?”
“You’re asking me?”
“Who else can I ask?”
“Fuck.” Pressing my fingers to my temples, I tried to think up the appropriate answer to give her in this moment. “Give me a second to think about this.”
“What would you do if you were me?”
Yeah, I wasn’t going to tell her what I’d do.
“Or Aoife? What would she do in this position?”
And I definitely wasn’t going to tell her what Molloy would do.
“Just take your time. Be his friend and just let whatever happens come naturally,” I finally settled on, knowing it was lame as fuck, but unwilling to give my baby sister tips on how to seduce a fella. “If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, then that’s okay, too. And please, for the love of Christ, don’t ask Aoife for advice,” I added, shuddering at the thought of the pointers Molloy would be only too happy to give her. “You’re only sixteen, Shan. This is all new to you. You need to navigate this thing with Kavanagh at your own pace and nobody else’s.”