揙f course not. You think I would have let you grow up thinking our father hated you both for no reason? I mean he hated us all, but厰
揑t explains his particular cruelty to the twins,?Conor finishes for him.
Liam pushes himself up off the sofa too. 揧ou should have told us, Shane!?he barks.
揑 know,?Shane holds his hands up in surrender.
I look at Conor, Shane and Jessie staring at me and my twin. Are they looking at us differently now, or am I imagining it? I can抰 think straight. This is too much to deal with for one person. Our dad was an evil psychopath who had an affair with our mom, left us to save his own skin, and the kidnapped, raped and tortured the woman that we love. What the actual fuck!
揑 need to get out of here,?I say as I head for the door.
揗e too,?Liam agrees as he follows me.
揗ikey! Liam! Where are you going??Jessie asks.
揕et them go,?Shane says to her and I scowl at him. Is he saying that because he wants rid of us now? Or because he knows that some space away from them is what we need? My head knows it抯 the latter, but I am pissed as hell at him, so right now, my wounded ego chooses to believe the former.
揑 will never fucking forgive you for keeping this from us!?I snarl at him. 揘ever!?
揗ikey!?he frowns at me but I turn my back on him and head for the front door.
揑 did what I thought was best,?he shouts after us.
揧ou don抰 get to decide what抯 best for us, Shane!?Liam snarls at him. 揧ou are not our fucking father so stop acting like you are.?
Chapter 37
Jessie
I sit on the sofa and watch helplessly as the twins walk out of the house. I trust that Shane knows that this is what they need so I don抰 try and stop them. It feels like someone has dropped a hand grenade into our happy little family. I can imagine the turmoil that they抮e in right now. I know what it抯 like to have a bombshell like that dropped on you, but I can抰 imagine the hurt they are feeling knowing Shane kept it from them. He抯 always honest with his brothers, but he抯 their protector, too. I don抰 agree with his decision not to tell them as soon as he found out, but I completely see why he did what he did. I can appreciate the untenable position he felt he was in.
揇on抰 think that my fuck up lets you off the hook, Jessie,?he suddenly growls in my direction and I turn to look at him. He is glaring at me in that way that turns my insides to jelly.
揥hat??I blink at him.
揝neaking out of here in the middle of the night to walk into the Wolf抯 trap. Do you have any idea how fucking stupid and reckless that was??
揧es,?I breathe.
揧ou do??he frowns at me. 揝o why the fuck did you do it? Have we not had enough of you walking out on us with nothing more than a note to last a lifetime??
揝hane!?Conor shoots him a warning look.
I swallow the ball of emotion in my throat. Hadn抰 we agreed we抎 never bring that up again? Yet the first chance he gets, he uses it against me.
揑抦 sorry. I didn抰 mean that,?he shakes his head. 揑抦 just so fucking angry at you, Jessie. What if the twins hadn抰 noticed you were missing for hours? What if he抎 taken you? What if we抎 lost you??
揑 did consider all of that, Shane.?
揃ut you went anyway??he snaps.
I look to Conor for some support but he shakes his head at me, too. 揑抦 with Shane on this, Angel. I抳e no idea what you were thinking pulling a stunt like that.?
揘o, well you wouldn抰。？I sit back and fold my arms across my chest.
揂nd just what the hell is that supposed to mean??Shane frowns at me.
I lean forward. 揌ave you ever known what it was truly like to feel fear every second of every single day? And I don抰 mean when you were a kid and you were scared of your dad. I mean as an adult, when you are independent and capable and strong.?
They both blink at me and I go on because they have no clue how it has felt to live my life.
揟o know that no matter how strong you are, how tough you become, how good you are at firing a gun, or hacking a computer, or bench-pressing your own body weight, that it doesn抰 matter, because there will always be some man who is bigger and stronger than you are, no matter how hard you work. And to not know whether that man is out there, watching you, waiting for you to make one little mistake before he pounces, so that no matter what you抮e doing, popping to the grocery store for milk, getting your hair blown out, or just walking down the street to go home, you never ever feel completely safe? Have you ever felt that??
揘o.?They answer in unison.
揑 have lived that every second of every day for the past ten years. I was not prepared to let him get away and have to go through that again. So I did what I had to do.?I抦 shouting now and tears are rolling down my face but I can抰 stop. The emotions of the past few days are pouring out of me and I can抰 do a damn thing to stop them. 揑 would rather die than live the rest of my life afraid like that. So, yes I thought long and hard about what I was doing, and the only regret I have is that I put you all in danger. But if you are waiting for me to apologize for making a decision about my own goddamn life, then you will be waiting a long freaking time!?I shriek the last part before pushing myself to my feet and walking out of the room with tears streaming down my face. They didn抰 deserve that, but the man I am really angry at is dead, so they will have to do.
I抦 lying on my bed when the door opens and Conor walks into the room.
揌ey,?I say as I wipe the tears from my cheeks.
He arches one eyebrow at me. 揧ou feeling better??
揑抦 sorry I offloaded on you both like that,?I sniff.
He sits down on the bed beside me and places his warm hand over mine. 揧ou抳e been through a lot, Angel, but you were wrong when you said we don抰 know how it feels to live in fear.?
揑 was??I frown at him. He and his brothers are the fiercest men I know. Who could they possibly be afraid of?
揑t might be a different kind of fear, but we felt the Wolf抯 shadow over your life as much as you did. Did you not think that we were terrified he would come for you just as much as you were??
I open my mouth to speak but he narrows his eyes at me. 揚hysical pain we can endure, Jessie. All of us have had more than our fair share of it. But losing you is our single greatest fear. You don抰 get to be so reckless with your own life when you mean so much to other people, don抰 you get that??
揑 do,?I nod at him. 揃ut you wouldn抰 listen to me. Whenever I suggested anything that involved me, you and Shane shut me down. I felt like I had no other choice.?
揥e should have listened to you, Angel,?he admits.
揑抦 sorry I snuck out,?I say, despite me being adamant that I wouldn抰 apologize for that just fifteen minutes earlier.
He smiles at me. 揑 know.?
Chapter 38
Conor
揥ill you lie here with me??Jessie asks as I sit and stare at her. She is so fucking beautiful and I can抰 believe that we almost lost her. How can I resist her? Besides, none of us got much sleep last night with her escapades. I crawl onto the bed and wrap my arms around her and she buries her head against my chest. 揑s Shane going to punish me for sneaking out??she breathes.
揘o,?I brush her hair back from her face. 揝hane is dealing with his own demons right now. He抯 angrier at himself than he is at you.?
揧ou抮e not angry with him, are you??she asks as she looks up and stares into my eyes.
揘o. I understand why he didn抰 tell anyone, but I can see why Liam and Mikey are so pissed at him.?
揑抦 glad he still has you in his corner,?she sighs as she snuggles against me again.