揑 love this tattoo,?she whispers.
I look down at the one she is tracing. It is a Celtic cross with a Gaelic phrase wrapped around it. Each of my brothers have one too. 揑t means 慉lways Remember.挃
揑 know,?she whispers. 揑 googled it. It抯 beautiful.?
揥e should get you one, too,?I laugh, only half-joking.
揑 don抰 like needles,?she says with a shiver. 揃ut you抮e welcome to get one of my face or something??
揧our face??
揧es,?she giggles.
揂nd where on my person would I get such a work of art??
揌mm??she chews on her lip. 揧our ass??
I laugh out loud at that and she does too before she falls quiet again.
揧ou know what I realized in that horrible basement this morning??
揥hat抯 that, sweetheart??
揌ow much faith you have in me,?she breathes.
揧ou did??
揧es. I don抰 know if I could have said those things I did to Conor or the twins without breaking their hearts, even if it was only for a few moments, but I knew that you would get it. Even though I was looking at you, I knew that you would understand who I was really saying those things to.?
I press a kiss on her forehead. There was a second when she called me a liar that I worried she was starting to believe my uncle抯 bullshit, but when she spoke of hatred and disgust, I realized that wasn抰 for me. I have experienced the love of this incredible woman and I know that it抯 true as sure as I know that grass is green.
揟hat means so much to me after everything we抳e been through, Shane,?she whispers.
I close my eyes and pull her tighter. 揑t means a lot to me too, sweetheart.?
Chapter 40
Jessie
I lie in Shane抯 arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It usually soothes me, but now my mind races with questions and not enough answers. I wonder where the twins are and when they抣l come home. I hope they can forgive Shane for keeping the truth from them so we can get back to our happy little unit. But mostly I think about the ghost of the Wolf. Even though he抯 gone, he still haunts me.
揟ell me what抯 going on in that beautiful head of yours, sweetheart,?Shane says as he brushes the hair from my face.
I shrug. 揟oday has been so?I don抰 even know how to put it into words.?
揑 know it has,?he presses a soft kiss on my forehead. 揃ut there抯 something else going on in there. Tell me what it is.?
I look up into his beautiful green eyes. 揇oes anything that Paul said?Does it change the way you see me??
揘o.?He frowns at me. 揥hy would it??
揑 don抰 know. I just?Those things he said ?about me and him.?
He cups my chin with his hand, tilting my face up towards his. 揑 already knew what he did to you, sweetheart. And even if I didn抰， why would that change anything between you and me??
揥ell, because it was him who taught me to enjoy pain. And that抯 kind of fucked up. And also, that抯 kind of our thing.?
He narrows his eyes at me. 揑 think he taught you to endure pain, not enjoy it, Jessie. The fact that he provoked a reaction in your body afterwards is purely physiological and is nothing you should feel any guilt about. There is a fine line between pleasure and pain, sweetheart. Just because you endure a lot of pain, doesn抰 mean you enjoy it. I don抰 think that you do.?
揃ut I do, don抰 I? With you??I breathe.
He shakes his head. 揥hat the Wolf did to you. What was that??
揚ain,?I whisper.
揂nd with me. What do you feel? Even when I make it hurt??
揓ust pleasure,?I breathe.
He winks at me and the breath catches in my throat. He抯 quiet for a while and then he turns to me.
揧ou never did give me an answer to my proposal, Jessie.?
揧ou mean your plan to marry me off to Conor and give you a whole tribe of nieces and nephews??
揧es.?
揃ut then I抎 have to live without you.?
揑抎 still be in your life, sweetheart. Just not like this.?
I blink away a tear that falls from the corner of my eye. 揑s that what you want??I whisper.
揑 want you to be happy.?
I arch an eyebrow at him. 揟hat抯 not what I asked you.?
揑 will never love anyone the way that I love you, Jessie Ryan,?he breathes.
揇oes that mean we抮e written in the stars??I smile at him.
揊orever.?
揧ou still haven抰 answered my question, Shane.?
揃ecause you already know the answer, sweetheart. But I抎 do anything to make you happy and you know that too. I want to make sure you don抰 turn around in thirty years?time and wish you抎 made different choices. I want you to have options.?
揑 love you,?I whisper.
揑 know,?he growls before he rolls on top of me, sealing my mouth with a kiss and I melt into him, forgetting all about the drama of our lives, if only for a little while.
Chapter 41
Conor
The sound of the front door opening wakes me and I look up to see my two younger brothers falling through it. Drunken assholes.
揝hhh!?one of them giggles as they make their way into the room.
揇id you two drive in that state??I snap at them as they stumble over to the sofa.
揘o!?Liam shakes his head while Mikey giggles. 揥e got a caxi-tab!?
Fuck me! 揋et to bed, you pair of fucking buffoons.?
揅on, I don抰 feel well,?Liam suddenly groans as he falls onto the sofa. Mikey stumbles and I catch him in my arms. The alcohol fumes almost knock me on my ass. 揌ave you two been drinking tequila??
揧esh,?Mikey says with a nod.
揊or fuck抯 sake!?I say with a sigh as I lower him onto the sofa.
They slide against each other as their eyes roll in their heads. I haven抰 seen them this drunk since they were teenagers. 揑 am not wiping up any of your puke tonight,?I snap as I cover them with the huge fleece blanket from the back of the sofa.
揅onor!?Liam groans sleepily. 揑 feel sick!?
揥ell that抯 what you get for drinking your body weight in tequila, numb-nuts.?
揘umb-nuts,?Mikey giggles before he passes out.
I sit on the armchair and run a hand over my face. I抦 sorry I waited up for them now. Now I抳e got to sit here and make sure they don抰 choke on their own puke. I feel like I抦 the only one keeping a lid on shit here. I抳e hardly had any time with my girl. I抦 constantly fighting fires. I wonder if this is what Shane feels like all the time?
It抯 light by the time the twins wake up. Liam groans loudly as he pushes Mikey off him.
揊uck!?Mikey hisses as he rubs his eyes and sits up. 揥hat time is it??
揝even a.m.!?I say.
揥hat time did we get home??Liam asks.
揂bout one.?
揌ow did we get home??Mikey blinks at me.
I arch one eyebrow at them. 揑n a caxi-tab, apparently.?
揑抦 going to bed,?Liam sighs as he goes to stand up.
I frown at them. 揘ot just yet.?
揑t抯 too early for a deep and meaningful, Con,?Mikey groans as he stands up too.
揝it your asses down before I put you down. Now!?I snap and they both blink at me but they do as they抮e told.
揥hat??Liam sniffs.
揑 get that you two are upset. I get that yesterday was fucked up and you got a lot on your plate. But you do not get to walk out of here and not answer your phones and have everyone worrying about you.?
揝orry,?Liam grumbles.
揘ot like Shane even gives a fuck! He抯 not here waiting for us, is he??Mikey snaps and the lid on my temper blows off.
揥hat the fuck did you just say??I snarl.
I see his Adam抯 apple bob as he swallows, but that kid must still be juiced on tequila, because he glares at me. 揧ou heard me. He抯 in bed with Jessie while he抯 so worried about us??