揑f you ever put yourself in danger like that again, you won抰 have to worry about Shane punishing you, because I抣l do it myself,?I warn her and she shivers in my arms and it抯 not from fear. Fuck me, this woman terrifies me. Ever since that night in New York when I spanked her ass with Shane抯 belt I have been thinking about exploring that side of myself with her. It抯 not something I抳e wanted to do before because we have something much deeper than that. What抯 been stopping me most is the fact that she is capable of handling so much pain that I抦 truly worried that I抎 go too far and hurt her. I抦 not sure I can wait much longer, though, because she has a dark side too and I know that going there with her would be fucking incredible.
The two of us must have fallen asleep because it抯 getting dark when we wake. Jessie rubs her eyes and looks at me. 揧ou think the twins are back yet??
揑 doubt it.?
揧ou think Shane抯 okay??She bites her bottom lip and I have to stop myself from biting it too.
揥hy don抰 you go and check on him and I抣l wait up for the twins??I plant a kiss on her forehead and then climb out of bed.
揧ou sure you don抰 want me to wait up with you??
揘o. Go get some sleep, and try and make sure Shane gets some too, okay??
揑 will.?She gives me one of her beautiful smiles and I wonder how this woman just went through what she did and still radiates so much goodness.
Chapter 39
Shane
I lie in bed staring at the ceiling and listening to my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I feel like every single person in this house is pissed at me. I took all of my anger out on Jessie and as much as I抦 entitled to feel angry after what she did, I could have handled it a little better.
I抦 worried about Liam and Mikey. I should have told them as soon as I found out but I wasn抰 lying when I said I didn抰 know how to. I didn抰 even know if it was the truth until Paul confirmed it himself. How the fuck was I supposed to blow their world apart on the ramblings of a dying man?
The door to my room creaks open, allowing a sliver of light from the hallway to illuminate the darkness. I see her silhouette slipping into the darkness and suck in a deep breath. If she抯 here to tell me what an asshole I am, I think my heart might just give out. I can抰 take any more anger directed at me right now. For over thirty years I have taken so much of it. My father抯 rage. Our mother抯 secrets. The guilt of not being able to protect them all. And I would do it all again for each and every one of them. Tomorrow I will stand in front of them and beg my brothers?forgiveness if I have to, but right now I am tired of it all.
揂re you awake??she whispers as she tiptoes toward the bed.
揂s if I could sleep,?I reply with a sigh that vibrates through my bones.
When she reaches the bed, she lifts the duvet and slips beneath it, pressing her warm body against me. Her soft skin feels so good against mine and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close and burying my face in her hair.
She responds in kind, wrapping her legs and arms around me like a koala and squeezing me tight. 揑 love you,?she whispers and that is my complete fucking undoing.
I don抰 know what to do with the emotion that wells up in my chest and threatens to spill out of me, so I do what I know best, going to the place with her that I feel most comfortable. The place where I抦 in complete control.
I roll over, flipping her onto her back and pinning her wrists above her head with one hand while I tug at her panties with the other. The fabric pulls taut against her skin as I stretch it, digging into her soft flesh. She lifts her ass off the bed, allowing me to pull them off more easily and as soon as they are down to her knees she wriggles them off herself. I settle between her thighs and my cock hardens as it presses against her pussy.
揑 need you,?I growl.
揑抦 right here,?she whispers before I lean down and crash my lips against hers, kissing her so hard she gasps into my mouth making my cock throb. She spreads her legs wider and I roll my hips against her and her sweet juices slick my cock. I shift position until I抦 nudging at her opening and she groans softly into my mouth.
This is the first time we have been together like this since he took her and I抦 suddenly overcome with a primal urge to reclaim her for my own, and it scares the hell out of me. I pull back from her and she blinks up at me.
揝hane, please don抰，？she whispers as tears form in her eyes.
Fuck! Am I hurting her? 揥e don抰 have to厰
揘o,?she interrupts me. 揑 want you to stop thinking about what he did.?
I suck in a breath. How do I not think about that? And how do I tell her that it makes me want to fuck her so hard, I am the only man she抣l feel inside her until the end of time? 揑 don抰 want to hurt you.?
揧ou won抰， so stop treating me like I抦 fragile. Like I抦 damaged.?A sob catches in her throat and it slices a welt across my heart that she would think for even one second that I see her like that.
揧ou are neither of those things, sweetheart.?
揝o show me. Prove to me that nothing has changed between us.?
揓essie,?I groan. 揑 can抰 hold back with you. Not tonight.?
揝o, don抰。 I need you too, Shane,?she pleads.
She is so fucking sweet. I don抰 deserve her, but I抣l take her anyway. I drive into her, forcing her a few inches up the bed and her pussy grips my cock so tightly it抯 a struggle to pull myself out of her again, but I do, only to drive into her even harder. I wrap my free hand around her throat and squeeze gently.
揝hane!?she gasps as she wrenches her lips from mine, blinking up at me with those incredible blue eyes and it only makes me want to fuck her harder. I rail into her, my anger and my guilt dissipating with every single thrust. She is everything I need.
揑 love you, Jessie,?I groan before I seal my mouth over hers again.
I press my forehead against hers, our breathing fast and hard and our bodies beaded with perspiration. I brush her damp hair back from her face and she smiles up at me. Despite what I just did to her ?all of the anger and guilt I just poured into her ?she fucking smiles at me.
揑抦 sorry I said those things to you earlier,?she whispers.
揑t抯 been a tough day for everyone, sweetheart. I could have handled it better.?
揇id Shane Ryan just admit he was wrong??She smiles at me and it makes my heart beat faster.
揘o,?I scowl at her. 揑 was completely right, but I could have dealt with it differently is all I said.?
She bites on her lip, that smart mouth of hers ready for a comeback any second, so I don抰 let her. 揥hen he took you, I thought I was going to lose my mind, Jessie. For real. Thinking about you out there alone and afraid and not knowing where you were almost drove me insane. That you would put us all through that again厰
揑抦 sorry,?she whispers as her eyes fill with tears.
揑抦 not trying to make you feel bad, sweetheart.?I brush her hair back from her face. 揑 just want you to understand how much the thought of losing you terrifies me.?
揑 know.?
I close my eyes as the memory of feeling so helpless comes flooding back to me.
揝hane??She reaches up and trails her fingertips over my cheek until I look at her again.
揥hen I realized it was Paul who抎 taken you, the thought that you might think I抎 known, and that I抎 betrayed you厰 I can抰 finish the sentence because the words stick in my throat.
揑 didn抰 think that. Not even for one second.?
I smile as I kiss her forehead and roll onto my back. She turns on her side and lays her head on my chest, running her fingertips over my abdomen.