Or maybe the real problem was that it was mine.
This piece that had already toppled out and landed at her feet that wanted to beg for whatever she would give me.
Salem lifted that defiant, scarred chin, brandishing a look that promised she’d been to Hell and was prepared to fight with her last breath to claw the rest of the way out.
Ferocity surrounded her, and she bit the words from her tongue. “Yeah, I think you should.”
TWELVE
SALEM
What the hell was that?
I hugged my daughter closely while I watched the backside of Jud as he rode away. The sound of that heavy motor rumbled as his big body disappeared over the dip and into the falling night.
“Wow, Mommy, he really hads to go so fast. I bet he decided he had to get to China fast because it’s already almost dinner. Did you know Mimi’s been cooking for already almost the whole day? And guess what! It smells deeeeeelicious!” Juni turned her sweet little face up to me with that grin.
Then her voice dropped like a secret. “Do you think he got the anxious flies in his stomach to go on the new adventure?”
My arms curled tighter around her, wishing I knew, that I understood, that I wasn’t the fool who’d already gone to the place where it hurt.
Where I expected something different.
Something better.
I pressed a kiss to her temple. “I think so, Juni Bee.”
Right.
So anxious he couldn’t even stick around long enough to learn her name.
My chest tightened as the disappointment raged. Hurt bottled in the middle of it.
What a coward.
I mean, come on, we were just supposed to be friends and he freaked out because I had a child?
But I think we both knew better than that, didn’t we?
That kiss this afternoon had felt like an awakening.
Like I’d been touched for the first time in my life.
Truly seen.
Then the way he’d treated me out in the meadow? With unbridled care? With that raw, untamed gentleness?
We were fools if we thought it wasn’t more.
Maybe it was for the best. I couldn’t get complacent. Couldn’t start to rely on someone else. Couldn’t trust that they would stand, fight, and advocate.
Couldn’t invite someone into the places they couldn’t go.
Worst?
My stomach twisted.
I doubted much that we could stay and losing another part of myself was not something I could entertain.
It was better that he left before this went any farther—with his tail tucked between his legs and that expression on his face. One that rejected the single gift I had offered.
For him to know this part of me.
My one, single purpose.
I inhaled Juni’s hair, and she giggled and squirmed. “Mommy, let me go. It’s not the snuggles time. You gotta wait for the story times to get those.”
Affectionate laughter managed to work its way through the sting as I set her onto her feet.
“Is that so?” I whispered, my fingers caressing down the side of her chubby cheek.
Then I stilled when I heard a squeal coming from across the street. I was half inclined to pick Juni back up and run into the house.
Hide her away.
“Oh my gosh, you have to be Salem.”
I’d gotten so wrapped up in Jud’s reaction that I hadn’t noticed someone was there.
Awesome.
Another strike against me.
This carelessness was becoming too much.
I swiveled to watch a woman shut her car door and start to walk across the street like she knew me. She was tall and rail thin with the palest skin and freckles covering the entirety of her face. Shiny, undoubtedly natural red hair was caught up in a ponytail that swished around her shoulders.
“It is so nice to finally meet you!” Her voice was lifted in welcome as she stepped onto the sidewalk. She didn’t pause, didn’t slow, just threw her arms around me in a giant, overbearing hug.
My spine went rigid.
Trust no one.
But I was pretty sure she knocked the chip right off my shoulder when she started rocking me back and forth and making these happy sounds. She pulled back and held onto me from the outside of the arms.
“Seriously, Eden told me you are gorgeous, but on all things holy, woman, you are about to start a fire.”
I could feel the force of my frown, the confusion winding tight.
“Oh sorry. I’m Tessa, Eden’s BFF and partner in crime.” She gave me a little shake. “She has been going on about a new friend who was living across the street, and I couldn’t wait to meet you. We are going to be the best of friends. I just know it. Get ready for it—the three amigos.”
I bit down on my bottom lip as she issued them toward the sky.
This woman was crazy. And I kind of loved her.
That was a bad sign, too.
Warily, I looked around, trying to think of an excuse to get out of there before I got wound any deeper, only my attention got lost on the empty road where Jud had just disappeared.
My heart sank like a stone.
What a jerk.
And why did I care? What did I expect? I already knew not to get involved. This is what it got you—or way, way worse.
“And my god, Jud Lawson?” Tessa fanned herself.
Her words knocked me back into reality.
The frown that’d curled my brow slipped into nonchalance. “He’s my new boss, and he gave me a ride home because my car is broken down.”
There.
It was truth enough.
Glee filled her freckled face, and her blue eyes danced with the scandal. “Friends? If that’s what you call friends, I need to rethink the definition. I thought I was legit going to catch fire, walkin’ over here on the two of you. Spark, crackle, boom.”
Her hands moved just as quickly as her mouth.
“Oh, no, it was nothing like that.”
She smirked. “Sure, sure. And hot lava isn’t hot, and believe me, that volcano was about to erupt.”
“Volcano?” Juniper’s little voice broke into our conversation. “I want to go to a volcano! Did you know they make islands and mountains and all the mostest beautiful things? One day my mommy and me are gonna go on an adventure to the Hawaiis.”
I ran my fingers through her hair. Thank God for my little thing redirecting the exchange.
“Oh, yes, I’m sure your mommy would love to climb that volcano.”
The woman sent me an overexaggerated wink.
Oh my god.
Redness flushed, and I wasn’t even shy.
“I bet so! They’re so, so big!” Juni hopped her way.
“Oh, yeah, definitely big.” Tessa sent me a smirk when she said that before she bent at the waist and leaned toward my daughter. “And you must be the one and only Juni that Gage cannot stop talking about. He told me he has a brand-new best friend and she is pure awesomesauce.” She tapped Juni’s nose.
Juni scrunched it up and giggled. “He did?”
“Yep, he sure did…and let me tell you, he is one happy little boy that he has someone as cool as you living across the street.”
Exasperated laughter tumbled out, and I took a step forward, setting my hand on Juni’s shoulder, still in protector mode even though I was pretty sure the only danger this woman posed was killing you with kindness. “Tessa, this is Juniper, my daughter.”
Juni stretched out her hand. “Pleased to meet you, ma’am.”