I type quickly, adding a photo of Olive that I snapped while she was asleep, a smile on her tiny little lips. I’m proud as fuck and I don’t even care that I’m going to be blowing up everyone’s phones with Olive’s pics.
They immediately respond to the photo.
Graham: Fuck, why are babies so cute when they do simple shit? Like eat. Or sleep. Why am I having baby fever right now? Someone tell my dick to fuck off.
Reed: Dude, erase that shit from your brain right now. Babies poop, a LOT. And you might as well kiss sleep goodbye. But… B, she’s fucking perfect and I can’t wait to hold her. Holland says to tell you that she is snuggling her for an hour straight and she will physically fight anyone who stands in her way. She beat me arm wrestling last night and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was naked. Don’t let her small size fool you, she’s a savage.
I laugh out loud at that.
Man, my best friend is whipped. He’s now married to Holland, who just so happens to be his younger sister’s best friend. They had a rocky start at first, after trying to hide their relationship, but ultimately, it came out and everyone was happy for them; they just had to work through their own shit. Now, Holland’s a part of the family. And trust me when I say, I know she’ll bust my balls, and I am quite fond of them so…
Me: I learned that lesson the hard way, don’t fuck with the fun-sized blonde.
Reed: Damn right. That’s my girl.
Hudson: I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I think I just shed a tear. Happy for you, man. Gotta set an example for her now.
Graham: I just bought her, her first hockey stick, and the smallest pair of Bauer skates they make.
Asher: Rookie, she’s like two days old.
Graham: shrugging emoji- I told you I’m going to be the favorite uncle.
The entire text exchange has me laughing like a fool, and it helps to take my mind off the nervousness in the pit of my stomach that shit might not go at all like I hope. Not to mention the shitstorm that’s coming when I leave here and have to face my parents.
Thinking of Conrad, betrayal slashes my insides, leaving them tattered. Fuck, it feels like every time I turn, someone I trust is betraying me. I’m done letting him ruin this moment. He’s ruined enough and I’m done giving him time he doesn’t fucking deserve. Not anymore.
This time is reserved for Maddison and Olive. I won’t let anyone, especially not that asshole, rob me of this time that I’ll never get back.
My main concern is protecting her and Maddison. From the media, from the public eye that comes with being a professional hockey player, from assholes like Conrad.
Me: Gotta go back in and see my girl. I’ll text soon with details so her favorite UNCLES can see her again.
I shove my phone back in my pocket and knock lightly on the door to Maddison’s room. When I hear her tell me to come in, I push the door open and walk into the spacious room. Olive is still nestled in her arm, sleeping like an angel.
I’m not sure how it’s possible that every time I look at her, I fall even more in love, yet here I am, emotion clogging my throat as my chest swells with pride.
My daughter.
Maddison looks up at me and smiles, gently rubbing her thumb along her cheek as we watch her sleep.
“I know that this… this isn’t what you expected, and you had to miss so much of my pregnancy, but I’m glad you’re here, Briggs.”
It hits me in the gut. Her words, as much as I wanted to hear them, I'm worried are a goodbye.
“Thank you for letting me be here, Maddison, after everything…” I trail off, and she nods.
As I watch my daughter sleep, all I can do is pray that I get the chance to be there for all of the important moments of her life.
Maddison lives less than fifteen minutes from Northwestern Memorial. The entire drive to her apartment, I looked back at Olive, no less than fifty times. Having a kid unlocks new fears inside of you, ones you never even knew were possible until suddenly there’s a tiny, fragile newborn whose life is quite literally in your hands.
“Briggs, she’s fine,” Maddison says, giggling as she rolls her eyes. “She’s snoring. You can drive faster.”
I nod. She’s right. Okay, she’s fine back there. I increase my speed to forty, and Maddison just laughs. This might be the scariest fucking car ride of my entire life, and although I drive a truck with snow tires, it’s not covered in armored steel, therefore I’m going to worry. Who cares if it’s just back roads?
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, I pull into the parking lot of her apartment. I hop out and rush around to Maddison’s door, opening it then holding out my hand to help her out.
When her hand slides in mine, soft and delicate, I hold back a shudder. My thoughts immediately flash back to the night we met, the night that changed everything. The way our bodies moved together, slick with sweat, and how she writhed beneath me.
She gets out of the truck slowly, before turning back to me. “Can you grab Olive for me? I’m not supposed to pick up anything heavy just yet. Her seat…”
“Of course. Anything you need.”
I unhook Olive’s infant carrier from the base, and then sling her bag over my shoulder to make sure the blanket isn’t covering her face. When she was asleep earlier, I went on Amazon and scrolled through at least twenty pages of baby books, then ordered the top ten.
I don’t know shit about babies, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I’m the best father I can be to my daughter. Including spending all of my free time reading every baby book I can get my hands on. Maddison pulls her house keys from her bag then turns toward the apartment. Olive and I trail behind her, and while we do, I checkout the neighborhood.
It’s not in the best part of town, which worries me, so I make a mental note to talk with her about it later.
"It’s not much, but it’s mine,” she says as she swings the door open and leads me inside. Fuck, it is tiny.
That makes me sound like an asshole, so I keep my thoughts to myself, but how in the hell are they going to live in this place? I set the diaper bag down on the coffee table and gently place the baby carrier on the ground, my eyes still scanning the small space.
Where is she going to keep all the shit for a baby?
“Want a tour? There’s not much to see,” she says shyly.
I nod. "Of course.”
My eyes dart back to the front door, realizing there is only one deadbolt, and a rush of protectiveness surges deep in my chest. I’m headed right to the fucking hardware store to add three more locks to the door.
With Olive sleeping quietly in her carrier, I follow behind Maddison, trying my best to keep my eyes off her ass and on the space she’s showing me, although there isn’t much for me to see. She takes me into the bedroom, which is filled to the brim with both her and Olive’s stuff.
There’s a suspicious looking black fungus growing out of the air vent on the ceiling, the wallpaper is peeling and faded from years of wear and tear, and the door creaks so loudly on the hinges, there’s no way it didn’t wake Olive up. She doesn’t even have a bassinet or a crib.
Reading my thoughts, she says, “She’s going to sleep with me in a co-sleeping bassinet. I have it put up in the closet.” She nods toward the door next to a pile of diaper boxes. “There’s not really enough room for a crib, so this will do for now.”