“Sorry I didn’t hear you come out. Just having a little talk with Olive.”
I nod, offering a watery smile. Obviously my hormones are haywire since I’m crying over something so obviously small. It doesn’t feel small, though. It feels so much bigger. A moment I’ll remember, even if things don’t work out with Briggs.
“No, it’s okay. I’m going to feed her really quick, then put her down in the bassinet. Do you want to hang out for a bit, give us the chance to talk once I’m finished?” I chew my lip nervously. Aside from the first night, I’ve never been alone with Briggs. Truthfully, there’s so much that we don’t know about each other. Seeing him here, in my tiny, threadbare apartment, makes me suddenly feel smaller, and wish it was in a better part of town, or just looked nicer.
“I’d love to, if that’s okay. I can help with whatever you need, Maddison, I mean it.”
“Thank you. For being here, and for being so…nice.”
He laughs quietly as he transfers Olive back into my arms. “The media paints their own picture of me, but I’d like to think I’m a good guy.”
His words make me feel like I have lead in my stomach, and it’s heavy and weighing me down.
When Olive begins to wake, I tuck her into my chest and run my nose along her face, inhaling her newborn scent. Briggs sits back on the couch, his large frame taking up most of the tattered, worn furniture, and I leave him with a small smile before shutting my bedroom door behind me.
The second it shuts, I press my back against the cool wood, desperately trying to gather my bearings. My eyes flit to my daughter who’s hungrily gnawing on her fist, and I walk over to the bed and sit against the headboard to feed her. The entire time she suckles, I watch her, so many thoughts running rampant through my head.
Once she’s fallen asleep, still attached to me, I quickly set up her bassinet next to my bed, place her inside, and then walk out to where Briggs is still sitting on the couch, his phone in his hand.
I clear my throat nervously. “Hi.” My greeting comes out a whisper, and I’m not sure why, but I’m even more nervous now that Olive is no longer between us.
He glances up and smiles. “Hi.”
Even now, after not seeing each other in nine months, his handsome face still causes a flurry of butterflies to erupt in my stomach, without even trying.
Walking over, I grab the monitor I set on the counter, turn it on and sit on the other side of the couch, which isn’t much room, considering he takes up the majority of it.
“Soooo…” I trail off, fingering the still damp ends of my hair nervously.
“Never been a beat around the bush kinda guy, Maddison,” he says. “I can never tell you just how fucking sorry I am that Conrad did this. I want you to know that I fired him.”
My eyes widen, and he nods, his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth together.
“He will never be an issue again. I’m so fucking sorry. I… I want to be in Olive’s life. I want to be her dad and be there for her.” He runs his large hand down the scruff on his face in anxiousness. “She’s my daughter, and I hope that you’ll allow me the chance to be a part of her life, even after what’s happened. I need you to know that if you do allow me to be a part of your lives, I will do everything in my power to protect you and put you both first.”
The sincerity in his voice hits me like a punch to the gut. I can hear the anguish, the hurt, the hope.
Without thinking, I reach out and place my hand on his corded forearm. “Briggs, I don’t hold what happened against you in any way. You didn’t know. It’s obvious that if you had known about Olive, things would have been much different. If you want to be a part of Olive’s life, then I would never stop that from happening. Little girls need their daddies.”
Briggs eyes snap to mine. “Really?”
I nod. “I do. I don't want Olive to grow up without her father, especially not when you want to be a part of her life. It’s not fair to either of you, she’s your daughter and it’s your right as much as it is mine. I honestly don’t know anything about how co-parenting is supposed to go, but I want to try. To work together to raise our daughter. With your hockey schedule… I don’t exactly know how things will work, but all we can do is take things day by day.”
“I’ll be here. Night or day. No matter what you need, I’m here. I’ll make it work however I need to, to be here for her.” Emotion is thick in his voice, and he holds my gaze.
“I… I just, I want things to be about Olive, and only Olive. Strictly co-parenting. After that night, I mean, not that I think about that night all the time but,” my cheeks heat in embarrassment, god I’m stuttering over my words like an adolescent, “I just mean I don’t want to complicate things any more than they already are. Of course the night we were together changed things, it gave us our daughter, but I don’t want to go into this with any romantic notions. I want things to be about Olive.”
Briggs looks like he might speak, but ultimately nods. “I understand, and I respect your decision.”
“Thank you. What about the papers that we signed? Do we have to do something to give her your last name? To reinstate your rights?” I ask. It’s the one question I’ve had since the hospital but with the way everything happened, we weren’t able to discuss it until now. I didn’t even know he fired Conrad till tonight.
“He forged it, Maddison. The fucking dick forged my signature. He forged it all. Those papers were never legal or legitimate.”
Relief floods me, which is also shocking, seeing as how just a few days ago I hated the very ground that he walked on. It’s crazy how in just a few days’ time, everything has changed. Not just with having Olive here with us, but the fact that he’s here.
That we were deceived by his slimeball of an agent.
“That’s good. I think we just… we just take it day by day. I’m new at being a mom, just like you are at being a dad. We learn as we go.”
“I agree. And listen, I need you to know something that’s important to me. I want to keep both Olive and you out of the media. I can’t stand the lack of privacy and putting my entire life on display. I don’t want that for my daughter, or for you. The media, gossip sites, all of that shit… they made my life a living hell when I went through what I did with my brother and…” He clears his throat, and I can see the raw pain in his eyes at the mention of the scandal with his brother and his ex-fiancée. “It’s just something that I don’t want to deal with. Not at all. I never want to relive that and putting Olive first means keeping her out of that. And you too. I honestly had never been as low as I was during that time. I just refuse to let anything happen to you two.”
I swallow thickly, emotion suddenly making it hard to breathe. I never knew how much Briggs truly hated the media, not until now. Not until I could actually see the pain reflecting in his eyes as he speaks about what he’s gone through.
God, Maddison… you played a part in this. You took those headlines and ran with them, not even considering that he could actually be hurt from it. Not knowing the consequences of your actions, when it comes to his life.