"Yeah, me either. She’s amazing, dude. I can’t wait for you guys to come meet her.”
Reed nods. “Us too. We told Evan about her, and he’s so excited. Now, Holland’s been talking babies for the past three days, and I’m a little worried because I just got the hang of potty-training, man.”
He looks a little panicked, and I laugh out loud, seeing as how it’s exactly how I’ve felt since the moment Olive took her first breath, but for totally different reasons.
“It comes naturally, it’s like… I don’t know, the second I laid eyes on her the trajectory of my life just shifted. I know that probably sounds insane, but nothing feels the same. I feel like a better man, just knowing that she exists in the same world that I do. That she’s mine.”
Reed slaps me on the back and pulls me into a hug. The guy knows no personal space, but this time, I let him. Briefly. Chalking it up to the overload of emotional shit I’ve had coursing through me.
“Wow, if you two aren’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I pull back and see Graham and Asher strolling up to where we’re standing, wide grins on both their faces. If there’s one thing about Graham, it’s that he’s got impeccable fucking timing.
“Let’s do this.”
We walk through the huge double doors into what seems like a whole new fucking world.
The blinding fluorescent lights are bright enough to give me a damn headache and there’s more shit for kids than I think I’ve ever seen in my entire life, further overwhelming me.
“Holy shit,” Asher mutters.
“No kidding,” Graham agrees then strolls over to the shopping carts and grabs one. “Definitely going to need one of these. Actually, you know what, Asher grab one, we’ll probably need two.”
He sounds way too giddy, like a kid in a candy store, instead of a hockey player in a baby superstore.
“Where do we start?” Asher asks, a second cart in hand.
“Fuck if I know. Babies eat, I know that.”
Reed scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, but is Olive breastfed or formula fed?”
Oh shit, he’s right.
“Breast.”
I try not to think about Maddison’s tits in the middle of the store, but fail, miserably. My desire for her seems to have only heightened in the last few days. She’s so fucking incredib-”
“Lover boy. Focus,” Reed barks.
Graham and Asher look at each other and smirk.
“Clothes. That’s where we’ll start.”
“Lead the way, sir.”
Two hours later, we’re standing in the stroller section of the store with both shopping carts completely loaded down, while Graham battles with some kind of stroller contraption that converts from a car seat into the stroller.
I’m beginning to realize just how in over my head I am. There are so many different types of fucking foods. Different stages. Organic. Gluten free. Regular plastic forks, and BPA free. Fuck, don’t even get me started on the different kind of bottle brushes. How many different ways could you possibly have to clean a bottle? A fuck ton. That’s how many.
“You okay?” Reed asks quietly as we watch Graham all but wrestle the thing to the floor. His face is turning red, and he’s huffing and puffing like he’s doing a workout. Pretty sure there’s a red lever at the bottom, or at least that’s what the instructions on the sign say, but I’d rather see him lose his shit, trying to figure it out. Much more entertaining.
“Bit overwhelmed. Reed, I’m going to fuck this up. Just like I do everything else. You know it, I know it. I just don’t ever want to let her down or disappoint her. I mean, not just in the future… hell, I’m sure she’s seen the news, Twitter or gossip sites. Half the shit is true, but half of it isn’t. She probably is worried about what kind of father I’ll be when everything she’s seen probably has her questioning what kind of man I am. Fuck, I sat the bench for almost a year. I can’t believe they didn’t drop me. I lost every single endorsement I had because I became a liability. I don’t want to be a liability to her. I want to show her that I’m not that man anymore, and I’m a better person, all because of that shit that I went through.”
“Nah, man, you got this. Don’t let the past fuck up the gift you’ve been given. Yeah… things were rocky for a while, but nobody’s perfect. What matters is that you changed. You realized where things went wrong and you turned everything around. I’m proud to call you my brother, Briggs. I believe in you; you’ve just got to believe in yourself. Maddison will see exactly the man that you are, and the past won’t matter.”
I nod, shuffling from one foot to the other. My past and the people in it will never touch my daughter, that much I’m sure of. It’s been a long time coming, but I need to let it all go and move on.
“Fuck,” Graham grunts, kicking the wheel of the stroller with his foot.
Asher laughs until he’s doubled over and has tears wetting his cheeks. “Dude, I should put this shit online so everybody else can see it.”
Hell, the Puck Bunny probably will before anyone else has the chance.
“Do it, and you’re dead.”
Finally, he finds the lever and the seat folds down easily. So easily that his jaw drops in shock, and he whips around to look at the three of us with accusation in his eyes.
“You fuckers! You knew that lever was there the whole time and you let my ass go through that.”
This time, it’s Reed and I that lose it, laughing until our stomachs hurt. He puts the stroller box underneath the basket, and we walk to the front of the store to checkout, but we stop at an end cap featuring guys wearing their kids in some kind of… thing on their chest.
“What the hell is that thing?” I ask.
Reed looks at the box and realization hits him. “Oh shit, that’s a baby wearer.”
A baby wearer?
People wear their babies around?
For fucks sake.
The six baby books I got are going to be even more useful than I originally thought. Apparently, I don’t know even half of it.
“You need one of these.” A teenage girl walks up, smiling. She’s wearing a polo with the store's logo on the chest, and relief immediately floods my system.
Thank god. A professional.
“Yeah, uh, which one? There’s like twelve.”
She walks over to the end-cap and picks up the most expensive one. “Definitely this one. Think of this as the Cadillac of all baby carriers. Not only will baby be riding in style,” she pauses, giggling before turning it around and pointing out the features on the box, “Mom and Dad will have the most comfort and support while baby wearing. Plus, there’s a lifetime warranty.”
I swallow thickly. “Okay perfect. Thanks.” Taking the box from her, I toss it in the basket and we continue on to the checkout.
“I’m wearing that shit first, and Olive-you and I can go on adventures.”
“How about we try and make it out of the store in one piece before we plan any grand adventures.”
Graham nods solemnly, “Truth.”
Nervous doesn’t begin to describe how I feel standing outside Maddison’s door the next morning with Graham, Asher, Reed, and Hudson flanking my sides. Our hands are filled with bags and boxes of shit. I admit, we all probably went a bit overboard yesterday, but what’s done is done now, and I just hope like fuck she’s okay with me purchasing all of it for Olive.