We topple into the shower in a heap on the floor, much like the very first time we met, and as luck would have it, the shower turns on, soaking us both completely. The too cold water sprays until we’re both sputtering and drenched.
Maddison lifts her head from my chest, water falling in rivets down her face, and then she laughs.
She laughs so hard her entire body shakes, and it does nothing for my hardening cock beneath her. My hands are gripping her waist tightly, trying to hold her in place, to no avail.
“I’m so sorrrr-rr-y.” She giggles, unable to contain her laughter. “This damn shower. Are you hurt? God, I’m so clum-”
She doesn’t get another word out, because my hands are sliding gently up her jaw, into the wet, tangled hair at her nape, and yanking her toward me. I silence her with my lips and kiss her, firm and demanding. Sliding my tongue inside her mouth, I kiss her hard and yet so fucking sweet, to make up for all of the nights I dreamed of her. The countless days I spent looking for the girl who blew in like a storm and changed my life that weekend. When her tongue swirls in my mouth and I devour her delicate whimper, I grip the back of her neck to hold her in place as I swallow all of her protests. I make up for every fucking day that I thought about her while I had no idea she was pregnant with our baby.
I want, for one fucking moment, for her not to think of what the consequences could be, or what we could mess up in the process, and to just feel. Feel what I feel every damn day for her.
Her hips move against mine as my cock grinds against her center, her hands trailing up my slick, wet chest to rub along the five o’clock shadow on my chin, then she abruptly pulls back, ripping her lips from mine.
“Oh god,” she mutters, then scrambles off of me, almost slipping on the wet floor of the shower.
“Hey, be careful,” I say, reaching out to steady her.
Once she gets out of the shower, and her feet are planted firmly on the bathroom floor, she screeches at me, “What are you doing? Why did you just kiss me, Briggs!'' Her voice is a low, hushed hiss, and I can see she’s worked up.
Fuck it, it was worth it.
“Because I wanted to, and so did you.”
I say it simply, because it’s the truth, and I don’t like wasting time on things that aren’t the truth.
She throws her hands up. “Oh, because you wanted to? I thought we agreed not to do this? That we were going to focus on co-parenting Olive, and that we didn’t want to be together.”
That has me stepping out from under the freezing spray and stalking toward her until her back hits the wall of the bathroom, and my hands are up above her head. I’m dripping wet, and so is she.
“Let me make one thing very clear, Maddison. I want you. I will always fucking want you. I’ve wanted you every single goddamn day since you walked out of my life, and even more since the day you walked back in it.”
I can feel the soft pants of her breath against my lips as she sucks in air. Her eyes are wide, her hands fisted against the wall, like she’s trying desperately not to touch me.
“Just because I agreed to focus on co-parenting Olive, doesn’t mean that I don’t want you. Want this. Want my fucking family.”
“But-” I silence her by dropping my lips against hers once more. This kiss, still rough and demanding, does exactly its job.
“Was I clear?”
She pulls back and looks up at me, her gold-flecked irises full of emotion. Crossing her arms over her chest, she nods. “Crystal.” Then stalks out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
The cold shower that followed was exactly what I needed, in more ways than one.
Nineteen
“So… he just kissed you? Just like that?” Tyler gasps through the speaker of the phone. His voice has risen an octave since I began telling him what happened with Briggs.
“Yes, just like that. God, Ty, what do I do? This is a literal disaster.”
It’s been three days, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the kiss. Or Briggs. Or Briggs kissing me while naked, and wet in the sho-
“Mads!”
Tyler’s voice brings me out of my daydream and back to the present, and I groan. Jesus, this is getting out of hand. One kiss, and now suddenly I’m losing my mind and daydreaming like a lovesick teenager.
“Sorry, what?”
“You were so thinking about him, weren’t you?” I can practically see the smirk on Ty’s face through the phone by the tone of his voice. He is loving this.
“No, I was thinking about changing Olive’s diaper. Wanna come volunteer?”
“Pfft. I’ve been waiting for Uncle day. You’re being an Olive hog.”
Speaking of Olive, she babbles on her tummy on her playmat on the floor. She’s doing so great holding up her head, and with her hand and eye coordination. It’s bittersweet how quickly she’s growing.
“Mommy’s sweet girl. I am so proud of you,” I coo, rising from the floor, then flopping down onto the couch, face-first, next to her.
Dramatic, I know. But this situation calls for theatrics.
My baby daddy is determined to kill me. Literally. After our tumble in the shower, go figure me being a klutz, right, he’s kept things strictly platonic and put the ball in my court.
* * *
And I didn’t expect to… want more. After that day. It’s like I was so busy being Olive’s mom that I had buried my feelings inside of me to protect myself and Olive… And Briggs. Unintentionally, things I did hurt him, and when I tell him… he’ll hate me. How will he ever forgive me when he holds so much anger and resentment for the media and for all those who betrayed him? The people who were supposed to love him.
* * *
There’s an internal war raging on inside of me, with my heart saying one thing and my head saying another. At this point, who knows what’s right.
“It was the best kiss of my life, even better than before, I think, and now… I can’t stop thinking about it.” I let out a ragged sigh that’s partially smothered by the pillow I’m face down in.
"Are you afraid because you think that he’ll no longer want you, or because of Olive?” Tyler asks quietly.
The truth? Both. I’m terrified about damaging the relationship we’ve established while co-parenting Olive because it’s been so easy, and so… compatible on all fronts. I never want our romantic relationship to come between his relationship with Olive. He’s an amazing dad.
It’s only one of the reasons I asked to keep things strictly Olive. I knew from prior experience that my heart is defenseless from Briggs Wilson. I fell like putty that night, even though I knew I should’ve stayed away.
And the fact that when I tell him, he’ll hate me for it.
“I’m afraid that being honest will cause him to leave and I don't want that Ty, I want him here.… I want him with Olive and me. And what if we date and then break up and we can't stand the sight of each other? I've seen with colleagues and friends, where co-parenting has been damaged because of a relationship. I just… I have to tell him Ty, I can’t continue to keep this from him, not when things are changing, into more,” I whisper, like he’s standing in the other room and could overhear it.