Reed and Graham skate up just as I’m locking my phone and setting it back on the bench.
“Good shot, Davis. I wasn’t sure you were going to get it past me, you know with your old age.” Graham smirks, hitting Reed’s stick with his, which earns him a look from Reed.
“Talking a lot of shit for a first-year rookie, Adams. Don’t let your ass overload your mouth.”
“Might be a rookie, but my stats are better than yours so…” Graham trails off, shrugging.
“Both of you shut up,” I bark in annoyance. Normally, they don’t bother me with their bickering, but I’m in a foul mood after leaving Maddison.
Reed and Graham both look at me. Reed’s dark, thick eyebrows are raised, and Graham looks apprehensive.
“What?” I grunt. Both of their gazes feel more like they’re silently judging me.
“You’re extra broody today, any specific reason?” Reed quips. Running a hand down his face, he wipes away the sweat that drips from his shaggy hair.
Even though they’re my best friends, I still have trouble telling people about the shit in my life. I’ve spent so long keeping everything bottled up and trying not to put my shit on anyone else, it’s a habit I’m trying to break. Little by little.
“I haven’t seen Maddison or Olive since yesterday.”
“How is my Olive-you? I picked her up this hella cute shirt the other day when I went to Vegas. It says, “Baby Roller.” Get it. High roller?”
“Yeah, I got it, Graham.”
“So what’s going on? You two have a fight or something?” Reed asks, falling onto the bench next to me.
I shake my head. “No, no, nothing like that. I laid it out for her, Reed. I told her how I felt and she said she had to think about what it meant for us. Fuck, I think I’m just terrified to lose her and Olive.”
Reed looks at me for a moment then laughs and shakes his head. “Man, even the mightiest fall, huh? I never thought I’d see the day that you fell in love.”
“I’m not in love with Maddison.”
Graham scoffs. “Get real, dude. She’s got your balls in Olive’s diaper bag.”
“Look, this is exactly how I felt when I put it all out there for Holland. I went an entire week, thinking I’d just lost the first girl I’d ever loved, and it all worked out for the best. You’ve got a habit of thinking the worst from everyone around you… you know, considering…”
He’s talking about Beau, and he’s not wrong. I’ve conditioned myself to expect the worst, and then I’ll never be let down at the outcome, but even thinking about losing Maddison or Olive causes my chest to tighten.
“Briggs, you deserve to be loved. I don’t know why you’ve convinced yourself otherwise. That because you had a rough go, and you did some fucking up, that you aren’t worthy of good.” He holds my gaze before continuing, “Give her a chance. Believe in her the way that you do about how you feel about her.”
“This is about to make me fucking cry. Real shit.” Graham sniffs. “What? Stop looking at me like that. Real men are in touch with their emotions.”
“Shut up, Graham,” Reed grunts, tossing his glove at Graham’s face, where it hits him in the nose, then he turns back toward me. “She asked for time, give it to her. But even if it’s not the answer you hoped for, if you love her… which you do, then don’t give up on her.”
I nod. “I wouldn’t, but I don’t even know how to love, Reed. The only love I’ve ever known is the fucked-up, betraying kind. Even if Maddison does give me a chance, what if she’s right, and we fuck it up?”
This time, he shrugs and pulls his gaze back to the ice in front of us. “There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for Holland or Evan. Nothing. I’d sacrifice every penny I ever earned, my career, you name it, I’d do it. That’s what love is. It’s not cut and dry, Briggs, it’s never black and white.
You learn from all the things that you fuck up. Hell, I may never have it right, but if my girl goes to sleep at night knowing that I’d sacrifice anything in the world for her, then I’m happy. Then I’m doing something right.”
“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Wilson, don’t worry. She gets the same look on her face when you’re around.” Graham interjects, “I’m headed to find Asher and Huds, I wanna see if they want to hit the bar up tonight. You two down?”
Reed shakes his head. “Nah, I got a date with my girl tonight.”
“Not me, I’ve got some shit to take care of. I’m down next time, though.”
Graham nods. “Let me know when you go back to see Olive-you. I’m coming, so I can give her, her presents Uncle Graham got her.”
“Will do.”
He skates off, and Reed stands. “I’m gonna shower and head home. Hopefully I get some alone time with Holland before I fucking die.”
I smirk. Reed’s so fucking obsessed with Holland, it’s kinda sickening, then I remember that I feel the same damn way about Maddison, and I probably shouldn’t say shit.
“Call ya later.” He claps me on the back before leaving me alone, on the bench, with my thoughts.
I only get a few uninterrupted moments of silence before my phone rings. I jump to grab it from the bench, only to see my mother’s name on the screen. I groan.
Fuck.
If I ignore it, she’ll show up at the house, and that’s the last shit I need right now.
Swiping the screen, I answer, “Hi Mom.”
“Hi sweetheart. Just checking in with you, how are you?”
Guilt immediately snakes up my spine. My parents don’t even know they’re grandparents, and I I’m not ready to tell them. Her voice usually brings me comfort, but it only causes my stomach to twist. I feel like an asshole hiding Olive from her.
“Uh, I’m good, Mom. I’m actually at the rink right now, so I can’t talk for long. How are you?”
There’s a brief pause. “Oh, you know, same old. Your father spends most of his time working in his shop and with Beau…” she trails off, “I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“Don’t apologize, Mom.”
“I just worry about you, honey, and I feel like I never get to see you anymore and…”
She babbles on, but my focus is gone when my phone chimes with a notification, and I glance down and see it’s a text from Maddison.
Fuck, I’m nervous. My fingers hover over the message as my mom calls my name.
“Briggs?”
“Sorry, Mom, I’ve got a call coming through, can I call you back later?”
It’s impossible not to hear the disappointment in her sigh. “Sure, honey. I love you, you know that? Always. Please, call me soon.”
“Will do, Mom. I love you, too.”
We end the call, and I open the text from Maddison.
Maddison: Dinner? Tonight? Seven. I’m making lasagna and I think we should talk…
I quickly respond.
Briggs: See you then.
I guess tonight’s the moment of truth.
Twenty One
I’m so nervous that my hands are clammy. I wipe my sweaty palms against my jeans and force myself to take a deep breath.