For God’s sake Maddison, you’ve had a weekend of hot, sweaty, incredibly great sex with the man then had his child. This is nothing. It’s just dinner.
Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, but I know that it’s much more than that. I took an entire day to obsess over the decision I had already made when he professed his feelings to me in my kitchen.
I just needed to be sure.
And I am. I want Briggs Wilson, and I have since the moment he walked into my grandparents’ inn. That weekend was one of the most memorable of my life, and seeing him be an amazing, patient, doting father to our baby girl? Well… it makes my heart soften every time I see them together.
Tonight, I’m going to tell him and that’s why my stomach feels like it’s wrapped in ten different intricately woven knots. I feel like I’m going to puke as I pull the homemade lasagna out of the oven and set it down on the cooling rack. This apartment is the size of a shoebox, so making complex meals like this is a stressor in itself.
“Shit,” I curse, when I see the edges are slightly charred from leaving it in the oven slightly too long. Of course, everything under the sun has gone wrong since I texted Briggs and asked him over for dinner tonight. Starting with the fact that while I was preparing the lasagna, I went a little past my normal pump time, and soon, my sweater that I spent an hour picking out had two round wet spots.
My phone begins to ring as my alarm sounds.
Fifteen minutes. Okay, I’ve got to put the bread in the oven, and then we’re ready.
“Are you ready to see your daddy, Olive girl?” I ask.
She looks at me with wide green eyes and grins while she sloppily chews on her fists. Her favorite. I even arranged with Ty and Kyle to have an uncle date this evening to give Briggs and me plenty of time to discuss things.
Five minutes after I put the garlic bread in the oven, there’s a knock at my door. I swing it open, knowing it’s probably Ty and Kyle on the other side and screech, “Thank God!”
Except, it’s not Ty and Kyle, it’s Briggs, wearing a smirk. He looks so handsome dressed in dark jeans and a button-down shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He’s leaning against the doorframe casually.
I swallow thickly. It is truly unfair to all women for a man to be this attractive. I think I’ve forgotten how to speak.
“I’m glad you’re excited about my arrival, Mads.”
“I-I-,” I stutter, causing his grin to widen, compounding my nervousness, “I thought you were Ty. He and Kyle are picking up Olive in a few minutes for the evening.”
His eyes light up, a stark contrast to the dark color of his sweater at the mention of Olive. “Good, that gives me a few minutes to spend with her.”
Thankfully, I somehow remember how to speak again, and I clear my throat then swing my front door open. “Come in. Sorry.”
He strolls through the doorway but pauses once he’s inside and turns toward me. “You seem nervous, Mads, you good?”
My heart pounds roughly against my ribs as he invades my space, until he’s standing directly in front of me with the corners of his lips turned up in a small smile that does nothing to stop my already racing pulse.
God, he’s gorgeous. His strong, sharp jaw that always makes me reminisce about the night I traced it with my tongue, tasting the salty tang of his skin.
I shiver at the thought, and his hands slide around my waist. “I need your answer, Maddison. I’m a patient man, but I can’t wait to touch you again.”
With that, he lets me go and strides over to Olive’s Bumbo and picks her up, leaving me in a puddle on the floor.
How he is able to evoke such a response from me with only a few simple words and the lightest of touch, I’ll never understand.
I join them in the kitchen and watch as he cradles Olive in his arms. My heart can’t take it, it is completely defenseless.
“Hi, my beautiful baby girl. Daddy missed you so much, did you miss me?” Her chubby little hands grasp at the shadow of hair on his jaw, and she babbles happily as he spins her around in a circle and laughs as she giggles.
Another knock has me pausing and heading back towards the door. I swing it open and Ty and Kyle are finally on the other side. Just seeing them helps calm my nerves slightly.
“Hi Boo!” Ty breezes past me in search of Olive, and Kyle just laughs as he shakes his head and gives me a tight hug.
“Hi beautiful, ready for tonight?” he whispers in my ear. I nod into his embrace, and when he lets go, he pushes some hair from my face just as Briggs walks up behind us.
Clearing my throat, I introduce them. “Uh, Kyle, Ty… this is Briggs, my…”
“Baby daddy.” He grins, extending his hand for Kyle to shake now that Ty has whisked Olive away.
I laugh nervously. “Okay, glad that you guys are introduced. Uh Ty, can I talk to you super quick in my bedroom? I just need to grab Olive’s bag.”
“Is there anything I can do for dinner, Mads?” Briggs asks before we walk away.
“Mads?” Ty’s eyebrows rise as he shoots me a look.
“If you could open the wine? That would be great.”
Briggs nods, then Ty and I walk into my bedroom. I shut the door, then drop my head back against it.
“Shit. Shit. Shit, Ty, I can’t do this. I feel like I’m going on a first date again. I haven’t done this since like… I don’t know, forever. And I’m going to tell him tonight. I’m going to tell him everything.”
Ty rolls his eyes and sets Olive down on the bed, then walks over and takes my face in his hands. “It’s going to be okay, babe. You’re following your heart, and you’re doing the right thing. I think once you tell him, everything will be fine. He is crazy about you too, I can see it just now, and I don't think that's going to change. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”
I hope he’s right, but even his pep talk doesn’t seem to calm the flurry of butterflies that won't settle in my stomach.
I suck in a deep breath and exhale, all while Ty holds onto me and grounds me. Being friends your entire life does that for you. He helps me see clearly when my head is muddled.
“Kyle and I are going to go play with Olive at home, and I’ll have my phone right by me if you want to check in on her or talk. Okay?
“Okay. Got it. Her bag is right over here.” His hands fall away, and I walk over to her newly packed diaper bag that I may have gone a bit overboard with, but it has all of the essentials. “I’ve packed three bottles, even though she probably will only take two, but just in case. If you need me, I’m a call away.”
He nods, then drops a quick kiss against my cheek and picks up Olive from the bed. “Got it. We’re good, be back later, love you, bye.”
I barely have time to give Olive a kiss before he’s out the door, and I’m alone.
Less nervous than before, but still feeling like I’m going to be sick at any moment.
Everything, and I do mean everything, changes when you have a baby. Not only have I only spent one weekend with Briggs, but he saw me pre-Olive… pre-pregnancy body. He has no idea what he’s in store for, and I’m sure the moment he sees me, he’ll run the other way. My body is marred with stretch marks, my boobs are more saggy since breastfeeding, and the skin of my stomach is slightly droopy, after stretching while I was pregnant.