“I miss the food in the city,” Annie said. “Food here is good, but the diversity back in New York was great. You can get anything you’re craving.”
“Yeah.” Serena nodded. “When I used to work there, on my days off, I would take the subway and just get off at any stop, then walk around until a restaurant caught my eye. I miss that, eating my way through New York City.”
“Well, we’ll just have to eat our way through Kauai together.” Annie shot her a grin.
“I’m down for that.” Serena leaned back. “Are you glad you moved here?”
Annie rocked her head from side to side. “Yes and no. I wish we could have brought our lake house here. It was so perfect for us and really hard to let go of.”
“Why’d you sell it if you loved it so much?” Serena leaned forward, her face curious and her lips slightly parted.
“We couldn’t stay there. Not after what happened.” Annie paused, not wanting to think about what had made them move to Kauai, much less tell Serena. “But anyways, it was perfect. The lake life was good for Finn.”
“What happened?” Serena asked.
“Nothing.” Annie shook her head and waved a hand in the air. “We just had to. We needed to get away.”
“But if you loved it so much . . .” Serena’s voice cracked and she cleared her throat, giving Annie a puzzled look.
“It’s . . .” Annie knew she was being evasive, but she couldn’t get into it now. “I’ll tell you another time. But believe me, we wouldn’t have if we weren’t kind of forced to. We were only there for four years. We thought we’d be there for much longer.” Annie paused, lost in thought of her days in that house, of the tranquility of sitting by the lake staring at the water. “It was right on the water, one of only about seven houses whose yard backed up to the lake. We were so lucky to get it.”
“Just like your father was so lucky to get this house.” Serena stared at Annie. “Your family must have a lot of good luck.”
“Some, and we also have a lot of bad luck too.” Annie shrugged. “But the lake house was perfect.”
“Perfect,” Serena echoed, and her eyes got that faraway look again, making Annie wonder what she was thinking about.
15
Laptop ANNIE file
We loved that house on the lake. From the moment the Realtor took us to see it, we were instantly in love. We turned to look at each other, unable to believe that this house, this beautiful glorious house, was on the market. Until that moment, we never thought we could afford to buy a waterfront property. But there it was, the perfect house, tucked away about an hour and fifteen minutes north of Manhattan, in a town that the real estate agent called the “hidden gem of Westchester County.”
The house wasn’t huge, only about 1,700 square feet. But it was so well laid out and allowed so much natural sun that it was almost like living outdoors. I love bright houses. You can’t be depressed in a house that lets in so much sunshine. I know you know what I mean.
My first apartment in the city was this tiny one bedroom that I shared with a friend, the two of us packed in there like rats. Our apartment faced an alleyway adjacent to another building, so it was always dark in there. We never knew if it was sunny or raining. The only way to tell was if one of us stuck our entire body out the window and craned our neck to look up and find the tiny patch of sky between the buildings. I really thought one of us would fall out of that window at some point. After living there for a year, I knew I never wanted to live in a dark apartment or house again. I crave bright open spaces. And this house was gloriously bright and happy.
It had three back decks overlooking the lake, about a hundred feet away. Three! It was the most amazing outdoor living space. To sit there and stare at the lake, watching the egrets and great herons, the ducks and geese on the water, listening to the burbling sound of the creek that ran down the side of our house into the lake. It was so soothing and everything felt better there. We could have a canoe or a rowboat and go boating right from our backyard. We could pack a cooler with beers and wine and just drift out there in the middle of the lake, the peaceful, peaceful lake. We would get a paddleboard, maybe two, so we could go out together.
The main bedroom upstairs was spectacular. It was huge, with its own bathroom and walk-in closet and a small balcony. The views from that balcony! I could stand out there all day. In the appraisal, the guy who wrote it called the views “superior.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
This was it, the house where we would raise our family. The commute to the city for work would be a bit farther than we had planned but so what? It was worth it. To be able to come home to this every day. Who cared how long the train ride would be?
We were ecstatic and even the Realtor’s warning that there would be a lot of bids on the house didn’t dampen our mood. This house was meant for us. You know that, right? I could feel it in my bones. We put in a full-price offer and we got it! But I wasn’t surprised. I knew we would. And the timing was perfect. We’d move in, and then our child would be born a few months later. Everything was perfect. And then you came along.
16
“Should I turn on some music?”
Serena nodded, and Annie muted the TV but kept the news on in case there were any updates on the weather. She picked up her phone and went to her music, picking a mellow mix. A deep male voice wafted through the small Ohana from the Bluetooth speaker on the kitchen counter.
“I love Lewis Capaldi,” Serena said from her end of the couch. Marley stood and stretched on the floor. He looked over at Serena and took a step back, going on the other side of Annie before settling on the ground again. Annie had bought him two dog beds, but he seemed to prefer to lie on the ground next to her.
“Me too. Brody doesn’t like his voice. Said it’s too soulful. Whatever that means. I think his voice is beautiful.” Annie leaned into the couch cushions as the rich, throaty voice washed over the Ohana. Music always made her feel better. She patted the couch next to her, and Marley jumped up. He pressed his body against hers, as if keeping a distance between himself and Serena. Annie wondered why he was still wary of the woman. She’d have to work on socializing him better if he was afraid of strangers. When she looked up, she found Serena watching them, a sad look on her face.
“What’re you thinking?” Annie asked.
Serena bit her lip. “It’s just . . . I was thinking about something Danny and I had once wanted.” She grimaced and then shook her head. “Never mind. There was so much we were going to do. It’s not important anymore. It’s all in the past. No sense dwelling on it.”
“You can tell me if you want.” Annie studied Serena’s face. “You listened to me before. It might help to get it off your chest.” She turned the volume on the music down, then stroked Marley’s back, grateful for the warm body next to her. She hadn’t thought her heart would ever be ready for another dog again after Lili, but here was Marley, making his way into her heart. He was so different from Lili, but maybe that was what had made it possible for her to open her heart to him. He was his own dog.