And I sat frozen, staring at Cal’s empty chair.
These feelings for Cal—the guilt, the affection, the yearning, the fear—weren’t going to go away, were they? No matter if he lived in Calamity or Calgary or Calabasas, they all had one thing in common.
Cal.
He was tangled in my heart.
And it was only a matter of time before he’d break it.
-
Diary,
* * *
Cal got my dad fired today. That jerk ruined Daddy’s business. And it was all a lie. Dad had to pick me up from school again because Mom took a double shift for some extra money. I offered to help Dad mow. We did one house first, then went to the Stark place last. I hate going there and I could tell that Dad didn’t want me there either, but it would have been too late if he’d driven me all the way home and then gone back to the job. So we just went and he did the edging while I mowed. Cal was there this time. I was finishing up in the front yard when he came home with his dad. He didn’t even look at me as he got out of the car, but whatever. That’s nothing new. They went inside the house and like ten minutes later, Cal’s dad came storming out and got in Dad’s face. He said that I wasn’t allowed to come here anymore and that I’ve been stalking Cal. Can you freaking believe that? Why would I want to stalk Cal? I hate Cal. Dad stood up for me. He didn’t even have to ask if it was true because he knows I’d never do that. He said Cal had to be mistaken. Well, that sent Cal’s dad over the edge. He got red in the face and screamed that his son wasn’t a liar. Oh, wait. It gets better. He accused me of sneaking into their house the last time I was there and stealing one of Cal’s football jerseys. What?! I said that was a lie and called Cal a liar. Cal’s dad told me to shut up. My dad said he couldn’t speak to me like that. So Cal’s dad fired Daddy and told us to get the “f” off his property. I cried the whole way home. Dad promised it would be okay and that it was just one client. I was like almost feeling better. Except then we got home and the phone started ringing. All of Dad’s other clients called and fired him. Yep. Worst. Day. Ever. Cal’s dad told all his rich friends about what happened and they believed it. Of course they’d believe it. Mom got home fifteen minutes ago. They sent me upstairs to do my homework so they could talk. I don’t know what they’ll do if Dad’s not getting paid. Maybe he can pick up new clients? It just makes me so flipping mad. We shouldn’t even have to worry about this. All I want to do is punch that liar Cal Stark in the face tomorrow when I see him at school. But then I’d get kicked out of Benton and Mom would really be angry and Dad would have gotten fired for nothing. This is so not fair. None of this is fair. It’s all Cal’s fault. I hate him ten times more than I did yesterday.
* * *
Nellie
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CAL
The script on the diary entry was harsh and thick, the words scratched into the paper rather than scribbled.
Yeah, I’d lied. And I’d do it again.
It had been five days since Nellie’s visit to the Winnebago, and as I had all summer, I’d spent those days rereading her diary. This particular entry was one I’d revisited often. Each time I read it, I wanted to shake her. To scream in her face that I’d lied for a good reason.
The book was open in front of me on the RV’s dining table, resting beside a glass of water. My hands were balled into fists as I scanned the entry about the day Dad had fired Darius. Her words took up three full pages.
A different man might have felt sorry for the hardship he’d caused. Not me.
Sure, I’d apologized to Darius, but not because I’d lied. My apology had been for the harm it had caused his family. The financial stress I’d put on a man’s shoulders.
Each time I replayed that day, I couldn’t see another option. Put in that situation again, at that age, a lie had been the only choice.
Though maybe I should have expected my father’s overreaction. He’d taken it upon himself to ruin Darius by calling a handful of friends, asking them to fire Darius. Word had spread like the plague and my lie had snowballed.
All I’d wanted was to get Nellie away from my house. Away from my puke of a father.
He’d picked me up from school that day. The entire drive home he’d bitched about having to chauffeur me around. Normally, it was Mom’s responsibility but she’d had a conflicting dentist appointment. He’d promised that the day I had my license, he’d get me a car so he’d never have to shuttle me again.
Fine by me. I’d wanted a car to have some independence. What teenager didn’t want freedom?
We’d just pulled into the driveway when he’d spotted Nellie mowing the lawn. He leered at her, long enough that I’d felt sick. Then he’d made a comment that had made my skin crawl. Something like she’s gonna be a hot one. I couldn’t remember his exact words.
He’d nudged his elbow to mine like I hadn’t noticed Nellie before. Like he’d be proud if his son scored a hot girlfriend. Like had she been twenty-four, not fourteen, he would have chased her himself.
What the actual fuck was wrong with him?
In a way, I’d overcompensated for his views on women. While he was in multiple relationships, I’d avoided them almost entirely. I’d preferred hookups through college and my early years in the league. And I’d always made sure the women knew the score. I’d double wrapped with the condoms. Once I’d been drafted, unless a woman could show me her ID that proved she was over twenty-one, I’d steered clear.
Then had come that night in Charlotte.
The only woman who’d stirred my blood since had been Nellie.
Then again, she’d stirred it for years. Even when I hadn’t been willing to admit that she was special.
That maybe I’d fallen for her.
That maybe I was in love with her.
Was that the reason I’d gone to extreme measures to keep her away? Getting Darius fired had definitely been severe.
After Dad’s nasty comment, we’d gone inside. He’d walked to the window to stare at Nellie again, and I’d lost my mind. I’d spewed a load of bullshit about Nellie stalking me and stealing things from my bedroom.
Dad had flown off the handle and stalked outside. Then I’d listened from an open window as he’d confronted Darius.
Darius had instantly defended Nellie. No question. He’d stood up for his daughter automatically. What would it have been like to have that type of man as a father?
The reason Dad had taken the matter so far was because Darius hadn’t backed down. He hadn’t bowed down and kissed the great Colter Stark’s ass.
I respected the hell out of Darius for that.
Because had Nellie’s and my positions been reversed, no way my dad would have gone to bat for me without a lengthy interrogation first.
No, I wasn’t sorry for my lies.
But I hadn’t forgiven myself for them either.
What had happened with Darius’s business? Had he found new clients? Or a new job? I hadn’t had the guts to ask Pierce. I sure as fuck hadn’t dared ask Nellie.
I thumbed to the next page, starting one more entry before I made myself some dinner.
“That’s mine.”
My eyes flew from the diary to the voice outside the Winnebago. These hot July afternoons meant I had to leave the windows and door open to keep the RV from becoming too warm and stuffy. I should have closed the goddamn door.