I fisted my shaft, holding her gaze as I stood at the foot of the bed, naked and hard and desperate for this woman.
Her hair was spread on my pillow. Her eyes hooded and wanting.
“Have you? Been with anyone?” Say no. Please, say no.
“No,” she whispered.
“Thank fuck.” I dropped a knee to the bed, hovering at her entrance to drag the tip of my cock through her folds. “Are you on the pill?”
A single nod was all I needed before I thrust forward.
“Cal.” She gasped, her back arching as she stretched around me.
I groaned and dropped my forehead to hers. “God, you feel so good, sugar.”
For once, there was nothing between us but the sins of my past.
“Move.” She held on to my shoulders, a leg curling around my hip. “Hurry.”
I pulled out and slammed inside once more, studying her pretty face as ecstasy spread across her features. The blush of her cheeks and throat. The perfect o of her mouth. Her eyes squeezed shut as her inner walls fluttered.
Sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating her sheer beauty.
I ran a fingertip across the bridge of her nose, rubbing away her makeup to see her freckles. My freckles.
Then I braced myself on an elbow and showed her the strength of my body, the control and the restraint. I worked her up, higher and higher, as her hands flowed like water over the muscles of my arms, chest and back.
Her nails dug into my shoulders as her breath hitched.
“Come, Nell.” I bent and took a nipple into my mouth, sucking so hard that she unraveled.
She came on a cry that echoed through the room and carried beyond the windows. She pulsed around my length, her orgasm triggering my own.
I poured myself into her body, marking her as mine, then collapsed beside her, my breaths ragged as we stared at the ceiling.
Birds chirped as they flew outside. The sound of traffic carried from beyond the motel. Nellie’s panting was as heavy as my own.
“Why do we always end up here?” she asked.
I propped up on an elbow, staring down into her emerald eyes. In bed, we were fire. We could block out the rest of the world. It was easier here.
“Why did you come here today?” I twirled my finger around a lock of her hair before tucking it behind her ear.
Neither of us answered the other’s questions. We simply let them hang in the air until I brushed my lips to hers.
The kiss was too tender. I realized my mistake as my lips moved lazily and my tongue swirled with hers. But I didn’t push to give it an edge. I didn’t quicken the pace or touch her anywhere else. I simply savored the woman who’d consumed my damn life.
And I crossed a line with that kiss.
When I broke away, there was genuine fear on her face. Like I’d shattered an unspoken rule. There’d been feelings beyond hate and resentment in that kiss. Shame on me.
“Be back.” I stood from the bed, giving her a minute as I strode to the cramped bathroom.
I heard her footsteps on the stairs before the water in the sink had turned hot.
“Damn,” I muttered.
No surprise, when I came out, she was gone.
And so was her diary.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NELLIE
Don’t stare at Cal. Don’t stare at Cal.
My gaze found him instantly. He was pushing Elias on the swing set in Pierce and Kerrigan’s yard, and my traitorous heart melted as they shared a smile.
Damn it, Nellie.
“Here you go.” Larke appeared at my side with two cold White Claws.
I took mine, popped the top and chugged.
She gave me a sideways look. “Are you okay?”
“Great! Just hot,” I lied as the smell of smoke and burgers wafted from the grill.
Pierce and Kerrigan were hosting a summer barbeque at their house today, and their sprawling deck was crowded with happy people.
I’d showed up, expecting not to know many, but I’d made quite a few acquaintances during my time in Calamity. Nearly all the faces were familiar. Kerrigan was sitting on a lounge chair beneath a patio umbrella with the baby in her arms. Constance’s sleeping face was shaded by her floppy pink hat.
Pierce stood with a spatula in his hand at the barbeque, talking with the huddle of men who’d joined him.
Two Grays Peak families had arrived last week and this was doubling as a Welcome to Calamity party. There’d be more festivities as more of our team moved. It would be nice to go to work on Monday morning with familiar coworkers in the office.
Everyone wore a smile and sunscreen.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was about to come out of my skin. Because of course Cal was here. I’d had days to brace for this afternoon, but I still wasn’t ready to face him.
It had been five days since the Winnebago. Since I’d made the idiotic decision to swing by and hit him up for sex.
Loneliness had steered me to the motel that day. Work had been hectic, and on my drive home, I’d called my parents but neither had answered. Somehow, I’d convinced myself that if Cal was set on staying in Calamity, why not get some orgasms out of the deal? Why not benefit from his hot body?
Then I’d found him with my diary. I’d known from a single glance that it was one of my old journals.
I wasn’t even that mad. It irritated me that he’d stolen it from my house, but it hadn’t enraged me like it would have years ago. What did that mean?
Ironically, he’d chosen the worst of all my diaries. As the school years had progressed, Cal had become less and less of a headache. An annoying crumb on an otherwise clean countertop, but my studies had taken the bulk of my attention while his focus had stayed on football. Our interactions had been in the random shared classroom and the silent occasional passing in Benton’s hallways.
Cal could have read all of my diaries, and I wouldn’t have really cared. There wasn’t anything in those journals that he didn’t already know.
Maybe I should be angrier. Maybe I should have resisted the temptation. But he’d kissed me and everything had changed.
Or maybe that kiss had made me realize things had changed four years ago. It had changed the night I’d left my hotel room in Charlotte and walked to his.
The end of this fling was inevitable. But as usual, we’d avoid that uncomfortable conversation by avoiding each other.
Was that why he’d brought a date to this barbeque? To have a buffer?
Cal had walked in twenty minutes ago with Harry on his arm. The older woman was standing next to Kerrigan’s parents, and when she glanced my way, I smiled, having officially met her earlier.
She’d waltzed onto the deck and had ordered him to fetch her a drink, which he’d done without argument. Then she’d introduced herself, rubbing her elbow to mine, before pulling Larke into a hug.
What had she meant with that elbow rub? Had she heard us together in the Winnebago? Or had Cal talked about me?
I found him again, helping Elias off the swing. The boy raced through the yard toward a football on the grass. He swept it up and gave it his hardest throw. It went about three feet, but Cal cheered and clapped like Elias had thrown it seventeen yards.
It had been so much easier to keep Cal at a distance when I’d thought he was awful to children. Why couldn’t he be mean to kids? And the elderly? Why couldn’t he have stayed on the opposite end of the country?