Kael started humming a song and told me about this little-known band he found in a bar in Kentucky after he graduated basic training and how he recently heard their song on the radio. I smiled as he hummed a few more bars and started to kiss down his chin, around his collarbone and shoulders. His skin was so soft under my lips and his body shuddered when I kissed the scar tissue that framed his shoulder blade.
Kael’s phone started to ring on the nightstand. He jumped up and I moved away as he grabbed it, my eyes reading the screen.
“It’s Mendoza,” he said, showing me the phone.
I nodded as he answered.
“Hey, you—” Kael started to speak, but he was cut off by shouting. “Hey, hey, man, slow down.” Kael’s voice suddenly was different; he was now Sergeant Martin.
“Where you are?” Kael was out of my bed, sliding his shirt down his chest. He grabbed his jacket from the floor and put it on.
I didn’t know what to do as I sat there on the bed and Kael moved around me. He was totally focused on Mendoza, in full-on mission mode.
“I won’t tell Gloria or anyone where you are.” Kael looked at me. “Don’t go inside. Just wait outside. I’ll be there in fifteen max. Don’t go back inside,” he repeated.
I got out of the bed and moved toward Kael. He held his finger up to tell me to keep quiet.
“I’ll be there soon, everything’s fine. Don’t talk to or call anyone else until I get there, you could get reported,” Kael instructed.
He seemed to have such great empathy, his soul glowed from the inside. It astounded and impressed me. He was showing me what a thoughtful man looked like: beautiful brown skin, a-thousand-seas-wide sympathetic eyes, and a considerate heart. It struck me that I hadn’t seen this in a man before—at least not in real life. But Kael showed me exactly what compassion looked like.
“Is everything okay?” I asked him. He nodded.
“Mendoza, he’s drunk and started saying these guys were spying on him. He’s slipping and I need to get there.”
“Spying?”
Kael sighed, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand. “Paranoia from constantly being in situations where people are trying to kill you,” he said.
His words rattled me.
“I’m sorry I have to go.” He kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, then my mouth. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done there.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” I asked, knowing the answer, but wanting to offer anyway.
He shook his head. “I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone. If he sees you, he won’t trust me. I need to get there before he starts a fight.” His fingers moved quickly to lace up his boots. He stopped tying them for a second and looked up at me. “I appreciate the offer, though.”
I had a really bad feeling about whatever was going on. My stomach ached as he stood up and met my eyes.
“Don’t worry about me, okay?” Kael tried to assure me.
“Right.” I rolled my eyes at him. We both knew that worrying was my specialty.
I followed Kael through the hallway, to the kitchen door. The sun was so bright, it clashed with my thoughts. In my mind a storm was brewing.
“Mendoza will be okay, right?” I asked him. I was aware that I barely knew the guy, but I could tell how much he meant to Kael.
He nodded. “Yeah, Kare. He’s going to be okay,” he reassured me, and stepped outside.
“Lock the door!” I heard him say.
I smiled at that and the way he called me Kare. Only Austin and my mom ever called me that and I really, really liked the way Kael said it so effortlessly.
After I watched his Bronco pull out of my driveway, I returned to my room and fell into bed thinking about how many soldiers had demons chasing them long after they had left the battlefield. Home wasn’t such a safe place for them once they returned. I drifted off to sleep wondering how many demons were chasing my soldier, and if they were too strong for him to defeat.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
When I opened my eyes, it was early evening and the sun was setting; it took me a few seconds to realize that Kael hadn’t come back yet. I went to our text thread and there was nothing from him. A bubble of uncertainty filled my lungs. I’m sure he was okay and just busy handling Mendoza. He wasn’t ghosting me, I told myself again. As I debated texting Kael, Elodie sent a picture of herself in a pink sweater with her short blond hair in two low pigtails. How adorable! When I asked her where she was, she said she was at another FRG gig, a cookout this time. And that she’d been invited on a girls’ trip to Atlanta to do some shopping. She was excited to browse for baby clothes and the latest gear—but even more excited that she’d been included spur-of-the-moment to go along. I nearly asked her if she’d heard from Kael, but I didn’t want to seem overly interested; she must already be wondering what the hell was going on between us.
I threw in a load of laundry before turning to the unwashed pile of dishes and glasses in the sink. I hated hand-washing and reminded myself that one day I would finally buy a dishwasher. I hadn’t done much and had slept most of the day, but my head ached and I took a Tylenol and gulped down a glass of water before making my way back to my room. I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of Kael. I remembered the first day I saw him in the lobby at work—the mysterious client who later refused to take off his sweats or let me touch his right leg. Now he wasn’t a stranger, but he still hadn’t shown me his legs, not once. He was always dressed from the waist down, and I cared too much about his trauma to force him to explain. There were so many other beautiful parts of him that he didn’t keep a secret. Maybe he would tell me, or even show me the rest, when he was ready.
I remembered how close we felt a few hours ago. The way I held his hand in mine. Holding his hand like that . . . touching each of his fingers, tracing the little creases around his knuckles . . . his hand in mine was the best remedy to ease the paranoia of the secrets he kept. I loved his hands—how big they were, how strong. I thought of how they held me, touched me, comforted me. I dozed off again and woke up to Kael standing over me, watching me sleep. He looked like a prince out of a movie, wearing a white T-shirt and gray sweats. Maybe I was groggy, maybe I was losing my mind, but he was so beautiful and I missed him so much. I yanked on his arm, bringing him to me.
“Hey.” He curled his body into mine. I clung to him like he had been away at war.
“How is Mendoza?” I felt unsettled but didn’t want to ruin the moment now that he was back. Silence fell between us. He took a deep breath and I held mine.
“Did you enjoy your nap?” he asked, completely ignoring my question.
I had to make a choice. Press him for an answer about Mendoza and risk him closing off and turning distant or let him decide what parts of him I could access.
I nodded, trying to keep my emotions at bay. I lifted my head up to kiss him and his arms wrapped around me, hugging my body as close to his as it could get.
“I missed you. Too much,” he said against my forehead.
And even though I knew this was too good to be true and the red flags were piling up, I held on to him and decided to take whatever it was he would give me. I should have remembered that not all fairy tales end in happily ever after.