I swear everything about this man turns me on.
Not that he complains.
Thayer has always made me feel safe to be myself with sex. I don抰 feel the need to downplay my desire and I know I can talk to him about what I like and don抰 like.
As a teenager I used to feel ashamed of my sexual urges, worried that it wasn抰 normal because of my past. Little did I know that being a teenager means almost all of you are raging hornballs whether you act on it or not.
揕et抯 take it for a drive.?
揂ll right, sir. Let me grab the keys for this one,?the young salesman replies, heading back to the dealership a short distance away.
揇o you like it??
揑t抯 pretty,?I reply. 揑 don抰 know much about cars to be able to comment on anything else.?
We抳e already been to three different dealerships, and I wasn抰 crazy in love with anything, so right now I抦 feeling pretty neutral about the whole thing which is probably for the best anyway. That way I won抰 make any hasty decisions.
Thayer launches into different specifications about safety and handling, but finishes with, 揟his one is the Limited model, so it has an extra two seats.?
I arch a brow. 揂nd this is important because??I try not to smile while I wait for his answer. Yes, I抦 baiting him. Sue me.
He pulls me against his chest, lowering his head to rub his nose against mine. 揥e have to have room for all our future kids. Winnie and Binx need space too. They抮e important family members as well.?
揌ow dare I forget the dog and the cat.?I shake my head in mock shame and he clucks his tongue playfully.
揑抳e got the keys and the license plate.?The salesman returns, holding both up.
Thayer somehow manages to convince the salesman to stay behind while we take the SUV out for a spin. I roll the windows down, letting fresh air blow throughout. My hair whips around my shoulders and I can抰 stop smiling.
揑 like this one.?
Thayer laughs. 揑 had a feeling this might be the one.?
I miss my old car, but there抯 no getting it back and I can抰 afford that kind of luxury vehicle on my own.
We return to the lot, and I let Thayer handle making the deal.
It takes forever, but two hours later I抦 the proud new owner of a car.
Thayer walks out with me to the SUV. I hop inside the driver抯 seat and roll the window down so he can lean inside.
揥here do you want to go??he asks. 揑抣l follow you.?
There抯 only one answer. 揌ome.?
His eyes light up. 揑 like the sound of that.?
揗e too.?
CHAPTER 42
SALEM
The back room of A Checkered Past Antiques is full of a mixture of empty boxes and ones that are filled with random items that never made it out front.
This ?this is harder than the house.
This was my mom抯 love, her passion. This was the thing she made her own after my dad passed away. She worked so hard to make the store a reflection of herself. Filled with items that were beautiful but maybe a little broken, in need of some TLC and a little elbow grease.
I let myself cry instead of keeping the emotions bottled up.
Packing this up is like saying goodbye to the last substantial piece of my mom.
揥hat do you need me to do??Thayer asks from across the room.
I know he抯 concerned about me, but he also knows I need to feel these things. I remind myself that every tear is filled with love. I didn抰 shed a single one for my father. There was no love in my heart for him. Now, my whole-body weeps with this loss.
Sometimes I think if I close my eyes tight and think hard enough about it that I can conjure her image and bring her back to the living.
Is that how Thayer felt? That if he tried hard enough, he could undo what happened?
揓ust cut down the empty boxes for now and set them outside. Bring any full ones to me and I抣l go through it.?
揂ll right.?He pulls a box cutter out of his pocket and gets to work.
I sort through the things, tagging some as I go. There抯 a flea market in town soon so I figure I can try to sell some of the smaller items that are in good shape.
I pick up the box with my candles, the one I brought back when my mom said someone already bought them. Only I have no idea who that was, and no one抯 ever tried to contact me about getting them.
I pull one out, looking at the label. It抯 peeling up on the right corner.
Just like baking, I stopped making candles.
When I left this town, so young and pregnant, I left behind pieces of me. It was like I was trying to forget the parts of myself that reminded me of Thayer.
揌ey, is something wrong??He approaches me, gently settling his hand on my lower back.
揘o.?I set the box down. 揑t抯 just some of my old candles.?
揑 wondered where those were. I bought them forever ago and Allie was holding onto them for me.?
I whip around, almost smacking my head into his chin. He takes a step back, putting out a hand to steady me.
揧ou抮e the one who bought these??
揧eah.?
揥hy??I blurt out, surprised.
His brows furrow in confusion. 揧ou really have to ask why??
I nod. 揑 want to know.?
揃ecause, you left and I had nothing but our memories, that ring,?he points to my finger where the ring sits that he got me so long ago, 揳nd a few candles. When I burned all those up and the house didn抰 smell like you anymore, I came here and bought more.?
揟hey抮e all peony. I smell like peonies??
揧ou do. And they抮e your favorite flower. I guess it had a two-fold purpose.?
揝o, you what, just bought up all the peony candles??
揘o, I bought them all.?
揧eah,?I point at the box, 揳ll the peony ones.?
揘o.?He shakes his head, gripping my hips. 揘o, Sunshine. I bought all of them. Every last candle you made, and I抳e slowly went through them over the years. This just happened to be what I was saving for last. I just never got it picked up. Your mom held onto all of them for me since it was a lot.?
揧ou ?you got all of them? Thayer,?I choke out a laugh, 搕here must have been at least two-hundred.?
揂t least,?he agrees. 揃ut I couldn抰 let anyone else have them.?
揧ou ?I 厰 I can抰 seem wrap my head around this.
He cups my cheek. 揑 lost you, for what I thought was forever. I wanted to hold onto you in any way that I could.?He presses a gentle kiss to my lips. 揕et抯 leave this for now. There抯 something I want to show you.?
I'm surprised when we pull into the driveway of the house. 揥hy are we back home??
Thayer puts his truck in park, shutting off the ignition. 揃ecause what I want to show you is here.?
I rack my brain, trying to think about what he could possibly be referring to but nothing comes to mind.
Undoing my seatbelt, I climb out of the truck and follow him. He doesn抰 go inside like I expect, instead I follow him out back.
He leads me around the fenced in pool, following the pathway that leads to the greenhouse. I haven抰 ventured out here yet. I抦 not even sure why.
Opening the door, he waits, letting me go in first.
My jaw drops. Spinning in circles, I take in the beautiful pink flowers. They抮e everywhere. The entire greenhouse is filled with peonies.
揟his is where you抳e been getting the bouquets??I ask, but I already know the answer. My hands go to my mouth.
揧es,?he answers softly, watching me spin in circles.
I blow out a breath, trying to wrap my head around this.
My favorite flower.
Thayer Holmes has lovingly grown my favorite flower in his greenhouse all this time just because it reminds him of me.
揑 don抰 know what to say.?