Cam shakes her head at him. “I’ve let you talk down to him for long enough. This matter doesn’t concern you. It wasn’t information you needed to know.”
I swear he growls as he barrels down the stairs, shouldering past both our parents. He grabs his jacket and I hear the faint rattle of keys before he storms toward the door.
“Kaiden!” Cam calls out, following him.
Dad looks at me.
I don’t know what to say.
He doesn’t deny what Kaiden accuses him of, and I don’t question it. Does it really matter at this point? Words hurt. It’s a good thing I have a high pain tolerance.
Something crashes in the foyer before the door slams shut.
Dad and I make our way downstairs to see a vase shattered on the floor, with Cam staring at all the little pieces. He squeezes her arm and says he’ll grab the broom. I don’t know what to tell her, so I count all the shards—eight bigger pieces and twenty-six little ones. I remember her mentioning it was her great grandma’s.
Priceless.
The pain medicine from earlier has long worn off, and a headache teases the confines of my temples. I blink away the tears of frustration as the back of my eyes pulse in sharp irritation. I know the likely culprit is stress, something I’ve become accustomed to here when things don’t go King Kaiden’s way.
I don’t regret telling him.
I regret believing he could handle it.
People like him will never be as strong as people like us. They get a choice in how to feel, live, and think.
We never will.
We’re forced to fight.
And sometimes…we don’t want to.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Strength doesn’t come without a price. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s that you’re forced to fight when you don’t have the energy, and have no chance at surrendering even at your worst. Strength doesn’t have a definition.
We all have it. We just might not all think we do because it’s buried under layers of pain and depression and anxiety. The truth is, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
So, I lock my door after going back upstairs and settle under the warm blankets. Only a faint lingering scent of pine and cedar remain on the empty side of the bed, so I turn my back on it and close my eyes.
I rarely lock my door.
I could fall and nobody could get in.
I could struggle getting out of bed.
That’s not the real truth though.
I didn’t want to stop Kaiden, and knowing how he acted makes me hate myself for getting attached to any form of possibility with him. Friend or not, stepbrother or not, I was starting to like him—trust him.
Go figure it was a waste of time.
The tears dry before they fall, giving me one more ounce of strength I didn’t know I could conjure with my chest hurting the same way my head does.
When I wake up in the morning, a familiar scent is kissing my skin from close behind. A nose presses against the back of my neck, with a warm breath tickling my skin and making me hyperaware of who’s spooning me right now like last night was a dream.
I squirm out of his hold, but he tightens his arm around me and drags me back against his chest. “I want you to meet my father.”
Chapter Thirty
Based on the time on the dashboard, there’s a silent understanding between us that we won’t make it to school today. I’d already planned on skipping, hoping by Monday morning nobody remembers my little mishap from Thursday.
I’m not sure why I agreed to come with him, but before my conscience could get me to rethink things, I was bundled in layers and following him outside. Not before noticing my bedroom door was perfectly intact, making me think Kaiden’s skills stretch to picking locks.
Not that it surprises me.
What does surprise me is when Kaiden pulls into the cemetery we’ve spent so much time in. He doesn’t take the normal path that leads to the fenced off clearing, but one that takes us to a huge gathering of stones.
Considering there was a chain covering two of the three entrances to the cemetery, I’m fairly certain we’re not supposed to be here. Snow covers the pavement, but not enough to get stuck. The walkways aren’t cleared off and most of the stones are surrounded by snowdrifts that would make it difficult to get to.
Kaiden shuts the car off and stares out his window without a word.
I blink, glancing at the line of stones he’s staring at. “Your father is buried here?”
He nods once.
Running my tongue across my bottom lip, I study the area around us. “You visit him a lot, don’t you?”
He hesitates. “It’s how I found the tree. I would come here all the time and yell at the asshole until I needed to take a walk. One night, I climbed the fence and found the spot. It’s my favorite place to go.”
“Because you’re close to him?”
He doesn’t deny it.
Unbuckling and opening the door, he leaves me to walk through the packed snow. It crunches under his boots. I can hear as much from where I sit watching him.
Giving him a moment, I see him kneel in front of a stone in the middle of the lineup. He brushes his bare hand against the front, dusting off the snow sticking to it. After a few moments, I finally get out of the car, adjusting my hat over my ears and walking over to him.
I notice slightly filled in footprints from the other side of the stone, like someone else was here. Does Cam visit him too? It dawns on me when I notice the prints are identical to the fresh ones he made. There was no new snowfall since yesterday afternoon.
“You came here last night,” I whisper.
He stands, brushing off excess snow from his hands. “He grounds me in ways nobody else can. There’s no way he can judge me for anything.”
“He just listens,” I say for him.
He hums in agreement.
Like me with Lo, he talks to his father. I thought he ignored everything about the man, but he probably spends more time here than he does his own bedroom.
Especially since he sleeps in mine.
Rubbing my arms, I study the engraving under his name. It’s a generic loving husband and father, which Kaiden must know I’m staring at.
He laughs dryly. “Funny, right? Cam ordered the stone for him. They weren’t even married by then. The whole thing is a joke.”
I stare at him, wondering if he’s joking or not. He doesn’t look bemused though. He’s deflecting.
“Stop calling her that.”
“That’s her name,” he deadpans.
“She’s your mom.”
No reply.
I sigh. “You saw how me and my mother are, Kaiden. We don’t have a perfect relationship. We’ve been through a lot because of what happened to Logan and, yes, what’s happening to me. Because like it or not, I am sick. She hasn’t taken it well but that doesn’t mean I take it out on her.”
“Maybe you should.”
Shrugging, I tuck my hands in my pockets and watch my breath in front of me. “I don’t see the point. We can’t change what’s been said or done. If we spend all the time on the negative, we’ll be angry for the rest of our lives. Why let it consume us?”
His head turns to me. “How could you just let it go? Your mother hurt you.”