He moans my name, whispers it like a plea, until I notice a little bead form at the tip of him. Following my urge, my thumb slips out from under his palm and glides over the wetness gathering there until he chokes out my name and jerks so hard in my hand that his forehead drops into the crook of my neck and our hands become frantic and needy.
A moment later, I feel something wet hit my lower stomach as he repeats my name over and over again before letting go of my hand.
His breathing evens out and he lifts up, kissing me hungrily until our teeth are clattering against each other. “I need to taste you. Let me kiss you, Mouse. Let me know how sweet you are between those pretty thighs of yours.”
My whole body catches on fire, and I want to tell him no because I’m embarrassed, but the thought of him doing that wakes something new in me.
“O-Okay.”
The smile I’m rewarded with is like I agreed to give him a million dollars, and if I wasn’t so turned on I’d giggle.
I watch him slowly lower down my body, his hands parting my legs as his lips kiss my inner thigh up, up, up.
“Oh my God,” I whimper when his tongue swipes my slit. I watch his head disappear between my legs, his mouth and breath and tongue on the most intimate part of me. I writhe under him as he gently holds my legs open and devours me, paying special attention to the bundle of nerves that demand release.
When his tongue dips inside, my fingers go to his hair and dig into his scalp. Unintentionally, I arch up until his face is buried further, his nose brushing my clit as his tongue brings me on the brink of my orgasm.
“Too much. Too much.” I shake my head as I build up, Kaiden not relenting as he eats me out and makes noises that sound a lot like mine as I tug on his hair and move my body to get more friction against him.
It’s an intense feeling, the way my stomach warms and tingles and my legs tighten on either side of his head. It’s consuming and alluring and addicting. Like I don’t want him to stop but need him to before I lose my mind.
When I come, I come harder than ever before and have to throw a pillow over my face because I’m afraid I’ll be heard. My legs quake and rock against him as he rides it out with me, his mouth pressing open kisses against me until I finally ease back onto the mattress in heavy pants and eyelids.
My hips ache from being held open, but the sated feeling washing over my body helps me forget the slight discomfort.
Kaiden moves the pillow away from me and wipes his mouth off before running a hand down my cheek and jaw. “I almost came again just hearing you make those sounds.”
I swallow, not knowing what to say.
“I need to be inside you,” he says, watching me carefully to gauge my reaction.
After a short moment, I’m nodding, realizing this is it. I’m going to lose my virginity to the boy who’s made me feel thousands of different things since I moved in with him.
He’s insulted me.
Picked on me.
Isolated me.
But he also gave me his room.
Cooked me omelets.
And taken me to his favorite spot.
He’s given Cam a chance for me, played nice with my father, and opened up to me when he wouldn’t with anyone else.
“I need this too.” I put my hands on his shoulders and squeeze.
He grabs the condom and tears it open, sitting up on his knees to slide it on. I’m mesmerized as I watch him cover himself with the latex, and feel my heart go into overdrive when he lowers back down and kisses me.
I return the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me. He tastes different, like me I realize, but I don’t think about it because all I feel his him moving to my entrance.
Using his hand to position himself, he slowly slides in, pausing, stretching me and causing me to gasp through the pain. Further, further, the sharpness intensifies. Tears well in my eyes as I try taking calming breaths.
“H-Hurts,” I whimper, squeezing him harder until our chests are pressed together. I need the pressure to ease, the pain to go away.
I knew it was going to hurt, but I feel like I’m being split in two despite how wet I must be from what he did. He’s so big, it doesn’t matter that he’s trying to be careful. Wiggling, I try relieving the sting, but it gets worse. So much worse.
“No, not like that,” he comments, sounding pained in a different way. “Fuck, Em. You’re so tight. You’re squeezing my dick.”
“S-Sorry.” My voice is hoarse as a tear breaks free and slides down my cheek. Is it supposed to feel like this? Like someone shoved a burning rod between my legs? Like my pelvis is on fire and demanding to be put out?
“Don’t be.” He kisses me, reaching between us and rubbing my clit in small, circular motions. “I need you to try relaxing, okay? I know it hurts. I can make it a little better.”
I close my eyes and hope more tears don’t spill, but even when I feel my body loosen a little to his touch, his movements don’t make the pain lessen. He moves out of me, and slowly back in, going further than before. Over and over he does this. He repeats the movements, playing with my clit, kissing me, nipping my lip and chin, until I’m saying his name in a choked plea.
Not to stop him.
I want this. Need this.
But I also want it to end. I want the pain to stop and the pleasure to begin like in the books. I want to be able to move my hips to meet his like I know what I’m doing. I want to feel confident and sexy and to know he can’t get enough of me.
That’s not how it is though.
It hurts. I’m used to pain, but this is so different than the everyday kind. My hips ache and my pelvis hurts, and I think I may be choking Kaiden with my death grip on his neck like I’d squeeze my pillow when my hips or knees or body hurt from a flare.
“Need me to stop?” His voice is heavy, lust ridden. He doesn’t want to but he’s offering, and I don’t want to disappoint him or to shorten this moment when it should be perfect.
“N-No.”
“Emery—”
“Please keep going,” I plead, kissing him the way he kissed me. Wanting. Needing. Yearning. “I want you to get off. I want to feel you do it inside me.”
I don’t know where those words came from, but I mean them. Every one of them.
“Shit.” The words must be the right thing to say, because he picks up the pace and enters me faster, harder. I bite my lip so hard I think it may start bleeding, but I do start feeling a new sensation enter the pit of my stomach when he changes position so he’s moving in me differently and grinding down on my pelvic bone.
I gasp as he puts pressure on my clit again, teasing it and rubbing it as he bucks into me over and over.
He cusses, moans, makes noises I didn’t know were possible. The way he kisses me becomes frantic and desperate and I feel every emotion he normally bottles up pour into me. My chest swells as he whispers my name, his sweaty hair diving into the crook of my neck until his hips drive into me in a jerky pace.
The headboard starts to hit the wall with loud thuds, so he curses and grabs ahold of it with one hand while he grabs my hip with the other to keep me from sliding up as he thrusts into me.
Any control he had when he started is long gone, because now he’s ravenous—chasing a high that he’s so close to getting. The way his body begins moving deeper and harder until he slams into me one last time and moans my name into my neck has me gasping and digging my fingertips into his back. I keep my hold on his body as he empties himself, his heartbeat racing against my chest as he comes down.