“Exactly. We’re purely physical,” I lied.
Allegra seemed to see right through my deception. “And does North know that because he looks like a guy who’s kinda deep into it with you?”
He did?
Butterflies fluttered wildly in my belly at the thought. “Well … it’s perhaps been a little more than physical. He has helped me with some insecurities I’ve had since Lucas cheated. And … he was also the one who encouraged me to be honest with you.” Saying that out loud made me nervous to think about just how big an effect North had had on me these past weeks.
Panic tightened my chest.
But Allegra, oblivious to it, continued, “Then it’s not just sex. It sounds like you two are in a relationship. I sensed that spark between you. Obviously. Not that I’m taking credit for stupidly locking you in a room all night with a strange dude.”
I smirked at her sheepish expression. “We’re … friends. With benefits.”
My sister didn’t look convinced. “I’d be upset that you’re hiding the truth from me if I didn’t know that you’re also hiding the truth from yourself.”
“Ally—”
She waved me off. “I get it. You don’t want to get hurt. So I won’t push because I’m just glad you and I are back in a good place. I saw Caitlyn before I left for spring break. She’s started doing coffee runs at this place by my school.” Allegra glowered. “She keeps trying to have friendly conversations with me, asking why you don’t reply to her emails. I just assumed you weren’t getting them.”
“No. She’s been emailing from different accounts. I just keep deleting them.”
My sister grimaced. “Ari, that’s fucked up. You should tell someone she’s emailing all the time. It freaks me out she’s started getting her coffee at this place because we both know it’s nowhere near Curiosity.”
Unease replaced my butterflies. “Do you think it’s deliberate? To be near you?”
“She did pretty much go after your life. And she still hasn’t backed off. I think you should tell someone.”
“I don’t want to make a big deal out of it or give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her.”
Allegra considered this. “Yeah, I guess ignoring someone like her is probably the best kind of punishment. Still, stay alert. She gives me bunny-boiler vibes.”
I nodded, glad I hadn’t mentioned the other emails I’d received from the anonymous “member.” A second had come in after the first. It was pretty much a repeat of what they’d said before. And I knew if a third arrived, I’d have to share it with Lachlan and security, even though the thought of doing so mortified me.
Brushing those concerns aside, I asked, “How long can you stay?”
Allegra gave me a sad smile. “Two nights, then I need to head back.”
“Well, it’s two nights we didn’t have before.”
We shared a loving look, and as I thought about poor Jared and Sarah who’d left here in a state of agonizing grief, I’d never been more grateful to have Ally close, physically and emotionally.
North was right.
There was nothing more important than family.
Twenty-Three
NORTH
As I stood staring around at the people crowded into the Gloaming—a pub, restaurant, and hotel owned by Lachlan and Arran Adair—I felt a sense of melancholy that was about more than the occasion that had called us there.
Despite the bad blood that reportedly had existed between Adairs and McCullochs for generations, Lachlan had insisted on celebrating the life of local farmer Collum McCulloch in the two-hundred-year-old building they’d renovated. He’d invited the entire village to attend and all around me were people, not just taking advantage of the free food and access to alcohol, but sharing stories about Collum. They were celebrating the man.
Friends and neighbors brought together by one person.
Over the past few weeks, friends who’d gone quiet resurfaced, calling and texting. Not one to hold a grudge, I’d responded to those I genuinely liked. However, standing in that pub in a tiny village in the Highlands, I’d never been more aware of how few loyal friends I had.
Unbelievably, Theo could be counted among the most genuine. Even more unbelievably, I maybe even missed his presence now that he’d returned to London.
There were my foster parents. They sincerely cared about me.
But that seemed to be the list.
I’d been so focused on building a career that I hadn’t bothered to nurture any real friendships. As I chatted with Walker, I considered he’d make a good mate. He hadn’t been able to trace anyone to my threatening letters, and no others had arrived since. But I could see from the determined glint in his eyes he wasn’t quite ready to give up on the mystery yet. It was a pity he couldn’t be lured away from Ardnoch because he was apparently the best private security out there.
I could make do with friendship instead.
For the first time in a long time, I wanted to put down roots.
Glancing across the room at Aria as she chatted with Sloane and Monroe Adair, I knew she was partly the reason my perspective had changed. Of course, being temporarily ostracized from Hollywood had kicked off my introspection, but Aria had only emphasized to me how important connections were. She’d been like a new person since she and her sister had sorted out their issues, even if she’d been sad to see Allegra return to the States. I’d always known the importance of family. Losing mine had made sure of that. But somewhere along the way, I’d allowed myself to focus elsewhere.
But now that I’d found someone I wanted to be around as much as I did Aria, I felt that itch beneath my skin, that driving force that had gotten me where I was as an actor. Now it was focused on her. On a life with her.
When I was old and gray, would any acting award or accolade make up for the fact that I was alone?
The thought filled me with dread. Not just the alone part … but the part where Aria wasn’t old and gray at my side.
Fuck, I wanted that. Aye, I wanted roots, but more than that, I wanted mine to be entwined with Aria Howard’s.
My eyes raked hungrily over her back. She wore a black dress with a skirt that flared out from the waist, and I’d imagined sliding my hands beneath it from the moment I saw her.
“Things seemed to have turned around for you.” Brodan Adair sidled up to me and Walker at the bar, drawing me out of my overwhelming realization.
Like his brother Lachlan, Brodan had retired from acting. Unlike his brother, Brodan had been more than a good-looking action star. He was taken seriously and on the road to an Oscar win when he gave it up to come home, marry, and become a father. We’d seen each other around on the award ceremony circuit, but we’d only exchanged a few words here and there. I held out my hand. “Nice to see you.”
“Aye, you too.” He shook my hand. “I’m sorry about what you’ve been put through. I hope Hollywood has come crawling back on their knees.”
I grinned. “They have that. I’m in training at the moment for my next role. Filming starts in a few weeks.” It was true. Aria had already commented that she could see a difference in the breadth of my shoulders. I didn’t want to bulk up too much, but I needed a lot of upper body strength for some of the stunts.