The ceremony was long and boring, the humid Philadelphia spring making it drag even more. But as Harper stood at the edge of the stage, waiting for her name to be called, she floated above the ground. She looked out at the audience and indulged the immense swell of pride at what she’d accomplished. The pride was tinged with the slightest bite of pain as she kept catching herself searching for the one face she knew wouldn’t be there.
At last, her name was announced, and she strode across the stage, doing what had so often felt impossible: becoming a doctor.
The afternoon was filled with endless pictures, congratulatory hugs, and a late lunch, ending with goodbyes and grumbles of traffic. When all the family members had finally left, Harper and her friends looked at each other, breaking out into huge grins as the real fun began.
The girls and Alex made their way to Center City, Thu having reserved a corner of a patio at a trendy spot. It was the ideal compromise: Harper had plenty of room to breathe and relax in the open air while her friends dipped in and out of the pulsing dance floor.
The night felt almost perfect. Little vignettes of joy and laughter filled the happy centers of Harper’s brain: All of them clinking glasses and cheering out a toast. Thu and Alex slow dancing. Lizzie making out with some hot stranger in the corner. Indira putting on bright red lipstick and marking each friend with a kiss.
It was wonderful.
Except for when it wasn’t. Harper probably had one drink too many as she sat at the table, zoning out of whatever wild story Lizzie was telling to make everyone laugh.
She missed Dan.
She missed him so fucking much.
As if her longing had spanned the miles that separated them, her phone buzzed, a text with his name on it lighting up her screen.
She blinked, not believing it was actually there.
With shaking fingers, she slid her thumb across the screen and opened the message. It took her a minute to read it, going temporarily blind from a few unshed tears that threatened to fall.
Happy graduation! I’m so proud of you.
The tears started slipping then. He was thinking of her. He was proud of her. It was as though he’d reached through her phone and caressed her cheek. She wasn’t sure what to say, her fingers hovering over the keys for so long her phone screen went black. Finally, she sent a simple:
Thank you! I can’t believe it finally happened.
But it had been so long since she’d heard from him. So many days of desperately wanting to talk to him. And she’d had just enough alcohol that she typed out a second, dangerous message:
I miss you.
And then, to seal her fate of going there, she sent one more.
I wish I hadn’t pushed you to leave.
I never wanted you to leave.
Harper watched the read receipt pop up under the message and the little texting bubble bounce in and out of the screen, holding her breath the entire time. It disappeared for a full minute and Harper let out a breath. He wasn’t going to respond.
A call popped up on her phone, Dan’s smiling picture taunting her to answer. Her eyes went wide with panic and she let out a little yelp of surprise. She declined the call so fast she almost broke her thumb, then tossed her phone between Thu and Lizzie. She’d been drinking, yes, but she hadn’t been drinking enough for that.
“What the hell was that for?” Lizzie asked with a laugh, taking a minute to dig the phone out of the crack between the seats. She looked down at the screen, and whatever she saw made her eyes bulge out of her head. She turned the phone so Indira and Thu could see it. They all looked at each other for a long moment, then whipped their faces to Harper.
“What’s this?” Thu said, snatching up the phone and holding it in front of Harper’s face like it was a murder weapon.
“What’s what?” Harper said, taking a long pull from her drink.
“Harper Hannah Horowitz, DMD, don’t you dare play dumb with us,” Indira said. “Why do you have a voice mail from Dan?”
Harper’s stomach dropped. Of course, he left a message. She was so scared of what he’d say. She didn’t want to hear him admit she’d drove him away. She didn’t want confirmation that she was too much to handle. That she couldn’t send texts like that.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harper said, looking over the balcony at the city lights.
“Have you and Dan been in contact?” Indira said, grabbing Harper’s cheeks and forcing their eyes to meet.
“He texted me congratulations,” Harper admitted through her squished cheeks. “And I may have said I missed him. A lot. But then he called and I panicked.”