‘What does that mean?’
‘Rachel, for God’s sake!’ His eyes were full of pain. ‘Don’t make this harder for me –’
‘… And if something happened? If I …？’
‘I don’t know.’ He looked at me. ‘I’ve no clue. But right now I don’t want to be around you. Can you please leave?’
I couldn’t blame him but I felt afraid and so terribly ashamed.
‘Claire, I’m going to the party. Can you put me at the same table as Luke?’
‘Is Quin coming?’
‘No.’
‘I have questions.’
‘And I don’t have answers.’
‘Got it. But be careful.’
Me be careful? She was a fine one to talk.
78
‘What’s arugula?’ Mum sounded panicked.
‘Rocket.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Fancy lettuce.’
‘For the love of God! We’re in the supermarket trying to get the stuff on Anna’s list –’
‘And I’ve just arrived at the airport to pick them up –’
‘We should never have let her go to New York. There was a time she was happy to live on cornflakes. But now she has notions and your father and I –’
‘Bye.’
Because Anna and Angelo always flew business class, their plane had barely landed when the Arrivals double doors swished open and out they strolled, giving off low-key, big-city glamour, in dark glasses, Loro Piana sweats and sleek Thom Browne carry-ons.
‘There she is,’ I heard Angelo say.
‘Rachel!’ Anna flung herself at me, and I wrapped my arms around her narrow ribs and soft, luxe clothing. ‘Thank you for coming.’
I had a wild urge to say, Thank you for existing, but I managed to keep it together. Of my four sisters, Anna was the sweetest. I’d leant on her a lot in the months after Luke had gone. I loved her and seeing her now, with all that had been going on with Luke, made me want to cry.
Angelo whipped off his shades and kissed me on the forehead – which was fully on-brand for his sexy guru vibe.
‘The car is five thousand miles away.’ We were a far cry from Quin and the private terminal. But thinking about him was too confusing and awful, so I made myself stop.
‘Hey, did the goody bags arrive at Mum’s yesterday?’ Anna asked.
I nodded. Three giant boxes of spendy skincare were squatting on the sitting-room floor, blocking out the daylight.
‘We’ll have to assemble them later.’
As I headed for the M50, Angelo said, ‘I hear my man Luke Costello is coming to the party.’
‘Yep.’
‘How is that for you?’
I settled for, ‘Weird.’
‘I’ll say.’
Mum’s first question to Anna was, ‘What are you wearing to my party? Put it on, givvus a look!’
‘Now?’ Anna asked. ‘Seriously? Now? When I’m just off a plane?’
‘Yes. Good girl.’ She turned to Dad. ‘And you go and put on your new suit.’
‘Do I hav–’
‘Yes!’
Anna went off, then returned in a super-tasteful beige sheath. Stunning in a phenomenally boring way, to be honest. That was her look these days.
‘Ala?a,’ she said. ‘From Rent the Runway. I didn’t actually buy it.’
‘You’ve been in New York for too long!’ Mum accused. ‘You’ve become Good With Money!’
‘You look great,’ I said.
‘Do I look great?’ It was Dad, shy in his new suit.
‘You totally do!’
‘Hardly seems worth the money,’ he said. ‘I’ll be dead before I get the wear out of it.’
‘So wear it lots,’ I urged. ‘Around the house, watching the telly. Or on the other hand, just don’t die.’
‘That’s what I’ll do,’ he said, seeming pleased by his decision. ‘I just won’t die.’
79
My phone rang again – Francesca, for at least the fiftieth time, looking for an update on my location. ‘Mum’s freaking out!’ She was on speaker in my car. ‘She wants proof of life of the goody bags.’
‘We’ll be with you in ten minutes,’ I said, hoping it might be true. These roads were more narrow and twisting than I remembered.
Wild yelling sounded in the background and, apologetically, Francesca said, ‘Mum says to tell you that you should be here now.’