‘Our life is pretty outdoorsy.’ Kallie looked at Luke. ‘Right? Pretty outdoorsy?’
‘Sure.’ He gave a tiny shrug. ‘When we’re not getting stoned and dancing on the deck.’
Kallie’s face fell. She looked from Luke to me. ‘Oh no. I’m sorry, Rachel. I was an idiot?’ She nodded. ‘I was an idiot.’
Kallie tightened the clasp on her helmet, scooped up the handkerchief hem of her dress, revealing a slender length of lightly tanned thigh, then hopped onto the bike behind Luke, grasping him around his waist.
‘Bye, guys!’ she called. ‘Missing you already!’
Quin and I waved them off.
‘She’ll freeze,’ Quin said as we went back to my car.
‘Good.’ I felt queasy and diminished.
‘I can’t believe I let him pay the bill,’ Quin muttered.
Yeah, that was bad. When it had arrived, both Luke and Quin had pounced on it but Luke had won. ‘Tonight was our idea,’ he said, with a hint of steel.
‘You can get us next time,’ Kallie said.
But there would be no next time. Quin had to content himself with leaving a far-too-generous cash tip.
‘Can we please not talk about them,’ I asked. ‘I literally can’t take them being in my head for a second longer. Tomorrow or some other time we can debrief, but right now, I need to watch two episodes of Ozark, maybe three, and think about nothing. Is there ice-cream at yours?’
‘Unless Fin’s eaten it all. But I’ll go out and get you more if he has.’
There were healthier ways of dealing with the unpleasant emotions tonight had stirred up, but my endurance had run out. So I had my ice-cream and my two episodes. I couldn’t stop thinking about Kallie. She fascinated me. What was it that had drawn him to her? Her light-heartedness? Was it even real?
When Quin got into bed, I asked, ‘How hot is Kallie?’
‘Hot.’ No hesitation there.
‘Who’s hotter? Me or her? And Quin, the answer is me, okay?’ Because sometimes Quin was just too honest.
‘You, of course.’ His expression was concerned and sincere. ‘But there’s something about her … Sheeeee’s … interesting,’ he mused, his arms behind his head. ‘Mixed messages with old Kallie there. Sweet on the outside, all great fun. On the inside, she’s … harder. Tough. I still don’t know if I trust her.’
‘Why not?’
‘Maybe because she’s a survivor. She’ll always be okay.’ Then, ‘The neck of her implying we were holy. She has the bang of a Christian, doesn’t she? Slightly?’
‘Mmm. Maybe. She’s very positive …’ That made me laugh. ‘There’s nothing wrong with it, if she is. Look at us, pair of bitters, lying here, taking apart their characters.’
‘They’re probably doing the exact same about us.’
Oh no, that hurt.
‘Do you think Luke is one too?’ Quin asked. ‘A church-goer?’
‘We don’t know for a fact that Kallie is. But Luke … When I knew him, he sort of had tendencies. He’s quite …’ I couldn’t find the right word. ‘Moral, I suppose. Not holy, as such. But traditional is probably the best word. Like the way he was about the bill tonight – from his point of view, he had to pay, because it was his gig. Or say he found fifty euro that some poor person had dropped in the back of a taxi? He’d never go, Wahey! Free money! And stick it straight in his pocket. He’d give it to the driver, even though the driver would keep it for himself. There would be no doubt in Luke’s mind, not for a single second.’
‘Wow.’ Quin fake-blinked. ‘That’s just … wow.’
‘Haha, I know. So tell me, am I a survivor, like Kallie?’
Quin’s stare was appraising. ‘You’re more complicated. On paper, because you’re an addict, you’re vulnerable. But if you stay clean, you’re a world-beater.’
‘Who would you rather sleep with? Me or Kallie?’
Long and loud, he groaned. ‘Now I’m thinking about a three-way with both of you.’
‘Well, fucking don’t!’ He drove me mad but he made me laugh.
He strummed an invisible guitar and sang, ‘My boyfriend’s ex-wife is super-super-hot! I faked a burst condom to see just what she’s got.’ Then, ‘You, of course, Rach, always you. I want you more than anyone – that’s not going to change.’