Other than calling me by someone else’s name? “No,” I whisper. “But neither did your brother. If I hadn’t overheard him, I’d never have known I was just a pawn to him. How am I supposed to be sure that it’s different with you?” Especially now. If Ray is that important to him, why is he with me at all?
Silas grabs my shoulders and inhales shakily. “Don’t do this to us, Alanna. I swear to you, I’ve always loved you. I’ve never once had bad intentions when it came to you. Never.”
“Then why did you tell me to break up with Ryan when we met? If you had good intentions, why didn’t you want to see me happy with him?”
“Because I was already in love with you, and you were never supposed to be his. Out of everyone you could’ve gotten with in this whole goddamn world, Ryan is the one person I couldn’t let you be with. Not my brother.”
He looks so sincere, but his words can’t be true. “Silas, how could you possibly have been in love with me? We hadn’t even had a real conversation yet when you told me to break up with Ryan. You say you didn’t approach me with ulterior motives, but your actions say otherwise.”
“When I walked into that coffee shop and your eyes met mine, I knew you were the one. I knew I had to make you my wife someday. It had nothing to do with Ryan.”
“Love at first sight, really? That’s what you’re going with?”
Silas brushes my hair behind my ear and strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. “Can you honestly tell me you didn’t feel a thing when we first met? When we were standing in that alleyway, did your heart not beat a little faster?”
It did. That one encounter left me feeling flustered for hours, and I didn’t dare admit to myself that it was because he’d intrigued me. He’d awakened a part of me that had been missing.
“Alanna, we finally made it. Sure, things aren’t perfect and many people around us need some time to get accustomed to us being a couple, but we’re finally together with nothing standing in our way. Are you really going to let Ryan tear us apart? Are you going to let him instill doubts? You know exactly what he’s doing, and you’re letting him get away with it. Can’t you see that he’s acting out of pain and anger? This is revenge, and you’re handing him the knife he’s stabbing us in the back with. Please, baby. Please don’t do this to us. Haven’t we been through enough already?”
I stare at him, my head throbbing. I close my eyes, a vision of a younger Silas staring back at me in my memory, his expression similar to the one he was wearing just moments ago. “Get away from me. Just leave me alone,” I hear myself shout, as though I’m a detached spectator in a memory that doesn’t feel like mine.
I open my eyes and look at Silas, who is staring at me with clear concern in his gaze. “Alanna?”
I shake my head, disoriented. “Silas,” I ask. “Did we used to know each other?”
He freezes for a moment before shaking his head slowly. If we didn’t use to know each other, why does it feel like Silas and I have had an equally painful argument before? Why do I know what he looked like when he was younger? Is my mind playing tricks on me, or is there more to this? I can’t help but feel that something isn’t right, but for Silas, I’m going to choose to ignore the red flags. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. Even if our happiness is tainted, I can’t let go of it.
Silas seems restless and upset for the rest of the night, and I can’t help but feel guilty. He’s right. He’s always treated me well, and he hasn’t done anything to invite my suspicion. It all stems from Ryan, and I can’t tell which of the two brothers is messing with me. I’m worried they both are, and I’m walking down the same path I walked with Ryan. I learned the hard way that it only leads to despair.
I pause in the doorway of our bedroom, my eyes roaming over Silas. Tonight is the first night he went to bed without me. He hasn’t even kissed me goodnight, and other than the night I spent in the guest room, that hasn’t happened once since we started sharing a room.
My guilt is at war with my need to find out the truth, and I inhale deeply as I slip out of the bedroom. It doesn’t take me long to find Silas’s laptop, and unsurprisingly, his password is the same as the one he had me crack at my first interview.
That too, was an odd coincidence. How could his password have been the same as the tattoo I have on my rib? I bite down on my lip, furtively glancing at the bedroom door as I access his bank statements, unsure what I’m even looking for.