All I ask is that you stay safe.
All my love,
Silas
Has he been putting this note on the bed every morning, knowing one day I’d walk in here and find it? My heart starts to ache at the thought of him waiting for me. If he truly is the man I’ve been dreaming of, then he must’ve been waiting for me for years. Could a love like that truly exist?
With each passing day, I’m more sure that he never posed a threat to me, no matter what Ryan might be saying. What I can’t figure out is if Silas truly loves me, or if he’s in love with the person in his memories. I’m undoubtedly in love with him, but can I be with a person who knows more about me than I know about myself? Someone who’s been keeping things from me throughout our relationship?
I’m worried that I’m making the same mistake that I made with Ryan. Am I ignoring red flags because I so desperately want to belong somewhere? My willingness to forgive Silas for anything at all scares me. I’ve never felt a love so great that I’d willingly turn a blind eye to lies and deception, just so I don’t lose him. It isn’t healthy, and I can’t put myself through this again. Not even for Silas. Not when there’s so much about him that I still don’t know.
My heart feels heavy as I head to the door, hesitating for a moment before pressing the floor for the garage. Somehow, I can’t deny such an earnest request. I don’t think Silas has ever asked anything of me that harmed me. Despite what Ryan might lead me to believe, he hasn’t ever done anything that wasn’t in my best interests. He might have lied to me, but I don’t think he did it maliciously. The only question is where that leaves us. How do I date a man who holds the answers to all of my questions, but who might lie to me to protect me?
I’m lost in thought as I head to the garage, my heart leading me one way while my brain points toward a different road. I walk past the row of Silas’s cars, my eyes dropping to the one in the corner.
It’s just an old car, he’d told me. In hindsight, he seemed somewhat nervous when I asked about it. Is it yet another part of my past?
For a moment, I’m terrified that I’ll find the car that hit me, and that Ryan’s warnings are all true. I bite down on my lip harshly as I lift the cover up, pulling at it until it comes undone. I yank it off, finding an old blue truck hiding underneath.
I stare at it, irrational devastation suddenly washing over me as a sharp pain has me clutching my head. Memories of this car driving away flood my mind, slowly getting further and further away. There’s no further context to the memory, but the pain I feel is real. Staring at this car makes me feel like all hope is lost, like I’ve truly lost everything.
I drop down to my knees and massage my temples as more memories come flooding back. An older man behind the wheel, a proud and loving look on his face. The two of us standing in a graveyard together, stricken with grief.
Dad.
I start to feel sick as memories of the hospital come to mind, followed by a police officer and a man in a black suit standing in front of my house.
Insurance fraud.
Assisted suicide.
Memories of Silas and me in his small bedroom at the shelter come to mind, all of the memories I’d blocked suddenly rushing back, along with the pain of losing my parents and the homelessness that followed.
My vision starts to blur as I recall volunteering, the phone calls with Silas that made me fall for him. My eighteenth birthday underneath the tree, and the promises he made me.
Silas, my Si.
I try my hardest to climb to my feet, but no matter how hard I fight, I can’t escape the darkness.
“Silas,” I whisper, and then my vision goes black.
Chapter Seventy-Eight
Silas
I stare at the paperwork in front of me, unsure what to do. Everything I’ve fought to regain, gone with a single signature. It hits me even harder now that I know that my father truly intended for me to have everything I now own.
“You can’t do this,” Amy says, her tone pleading.
I shake my head and look away. “I don’t have a choice. Everything I’ve done has been for her. I’ve done everything within my power to protect her from the pain of her past, but I’ve reached the limit of what I can do. If I don’t put a stop to what Ryan is doing, I’ll lose her forever. With each lie he tells her, he distorts her memories, solidifying a false image of me. I can’t lose her again, Amy. I don’t think I can survive it. Besides, I can’t let this happen to her. I can’t let him take something so precious from her.”