I walk away without looking back, not a single ounce of remorse nagging at my conscience. He deserves whatever it is that’s coming for him.
“Did you hear that?” I ask Ryan.
He’s staring at the window, his face as white as a sheet. “How much did you pay him to say all of that?”
My heart sinks and I look away. “Ryan, if after all this, you still can’t see the truth, then you truly are a lost cause.”
He looks at me, his eyes flashing with anger. “I’m not retracting my offer. I’m still going after Alanna if you don’t give me what I’m owed. You’ve got three days left, Silas. Make them count.”
I stare at him in disbelief as he walks out of the room, my heart sinking as I think back to the little boy who cried his heart out at our father’s funeral. It’s that image of him that made me weak, and it’s that same image that’s now going to cost me everything.
Chapter Seventy-Six
Alanna
“Are you sure you want to try this?” my psychologist asks. “Hypnotherapy could help, but it could also generate even more false memories if it works at all. It isn’t like in the movies, where you’ll just magically remember everything. Because your amnesia has lasted for so many years, the chances of full recovery are slim.”
I nod without hesitation. “I want to try. Recently I’ve been told a lot of things about my past, and while they don’t feel right, I can suddenly remember those exact scenes. I can’t tell what is true and what isn’t. I want at least a hint of my own memories, something that’s mine, not something I’m being told is true.”
“I understand,” the doctor says. “Let’s give it a try then, shall we?”
She leads me to the sofa and tells me to make myself comfortable. I’m nervous, scared of what I might see, but I close my eyes nonetheless.
“Let’s start with controlling your breathing, okay?”
I follow her steps, counting my breaths until my thoughts still, going through the motions with her. I try my best to imagine the serene landscape she’s describing, the sun shining on my face. It takes a while, but eventually, I sink into the fantasy she laid out. She takes her time, slowly adding some of the details I told her about into the scenario, until it all starts to feel real.
“That man you keep dreaming of, he’s smiling at you and grabs your hand.”
I never used to be able to see his face, but this time I picture him as Silas, the younger version of him I saw in my memories. Could it truly be him?
“He pulls you along, the two of you walking hand in hand.”
My imagination follows the scenario and I just watch as the scene becomes more and more familiar, until we’re standing underneath a large blossom tree. One I’ve seen before. I gasp and sit up, my hands wrapping around myself.
“What is it? What did you see?”
I shake my head, a sad smile on my face. “Nothing. It was just a place I went to recently. It isn’t something from my past.”
She nods and smiles in understanding. “We can try it again soon, if you want, but your case is tricky. I’m not sure it’ll work.”
I rise to my feet and nod. “I get it. Thank you for trying nonetheless.”
I’m absentminded as I leave her office, something not feeling quite right. There’s something about the blossom tree that feels like it was a sign.
I hesitate for a moment before flagging down a taxi, trying my hardest to recall the directions to the place Silas took me to on my birthday. It was that very same tree, I’m sure of it.
I stare up at the no trespassing sign as I push the taxi door closed, a strange sense of belonging washing over me. I know this place, and it isn’t just because Silas took me here recently.
I walk up to the tree, my head throbbing, almost as though it wants me to remember, but can’t push past the blocks containing it.
I place my hand against the tree trunk and inhale shakily. “Tell me your secrets,” I whisper. “Tell me mine.”
I look around, unsure what for, until my eyes land on a small shovel hidden behind the tree. It looks old, rust eating at the handles, but the moment I see it, I just know that’s what I was after. I grab it with both hands and stare at it for a moment, trying to figure out why it feels so familiar to me. I must have used this before.
My knees hit the floor as I start to dig, unsure why but certain that’s what I’m here for. Before long, the shovel hits something hard, and I dig out a glass bottle. I brush the dirt off and hold it up to the light. There’s something in there. I open the bottle carefully and take out the paper inside it, my hands trembling as I uncurl it.