“That night… you never told me how he hurt you, and I haven’t brought it up because I didn’t want to upset you. Will you tell me what he did?”
She nods. “He didn’t cheat on me, if that’s what you thought. He used me to create a better image of himself for you. I overheard him saying that he was only dating me because I’m exactly the kind of girl you’d like, and that you wouldn’t believe he’d changed overnight, but you’d believe it if it was because of a girl. Maybe I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, but it just really hurt, because it made me wonder if anything we had was real.”
So he was knowingly using her against me, but why her? It looks like my little brother isn’t as innocent as I’d hoped, and I’m not sure what to do with that information. “How did you two meet?” I ask, not wanting to hear about the two of them, but needing to know so I can set my worries at ease.
“Ryan told you we met at the beach one day, right? I volunteer to gather plastic once a month, and one day he showed up with his mother. She and I made small talk, and she kept telling him to be more like me, and that he should learn from me if he wants to clean up his act. I just thought it was funny, the way she somewhat jokingly berated him. At the end of the day, he asked if we could hang out, and we just chatted for a bit. That was it, really.”
That can’t have been a coincidence. Mona must have gone there knowing Alanna was there, but how did she find her before I did? How did she know about Alanna at all?
“Did you see Mona often?”
Alanna shakes her head. “Not at all. Just that first time at the beach, and then at your house for dinner. Why do you ask?”
I shake my head. “It’s nothing. I was just curious.”
She smiles and takes a bite of her pasta, the two of us eating in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
“Oh! I forgot to tell you,” she says, dropping her fork. “I found a few places I think could work, so I won’t be bothering you much longer.”
The mere thought of her leaving has my heart aching. “Don’t leave,” I murmur, my tone pleading. “There’s plenty of space here, and as you’ve noticed, I’m rarely home. There’s no need for you to leave.”
She looks up at me, wide-eyed. “I, um, I can’t stay here.”
“Why?”
She blinks, as though she isn’t quite sure herself. “It isn’t appropriate, and I don’t want to invade your privacy.” Her expression turns anguished, and I know exactly what she’s thinking of.
“You were jealous last week, weren’t you?” I murmur. “You brought Raven up last night too. Did her coming to the office really bother you that much?”
I wonder if she has any idea how hard it was for me to see her with Ryan, the two of them sitting opposite each other in my own goddamn home. I don’t want her to hurt the way I did, but part of me is glad that she’s jealous too. It gives me hope.
Her head snaps up, her eyes wide. “No,” she denies. “I wasn’t jealous.”
I nod and bite back a smile when she shoves her plate away, her expression serene but her demeanor betraying her. “I thought the way you stormed into my office was pretty cute. The way your eyes flashed with possessiveness was hot. Honestly, I really wanted to kiss your anger away.”
Alanna looks away, her expression flustered, and I can’t help but smirk. She’s so fucking cute. Every time I worry about our future together, she gives me a little sign that proves she still cares. She might not understand why, but she does.
“I want you, Alanna,” I admit. “I’ve wanted you for far longer than you can imagine, and your past with my brother doesn’t change that.”
She looks down at her plate and shakes her head. “And this is why I need to leave,” she whispers. “Because a part of me wants you too, and we can’t go there. The entire company knows me as Ryan’s ex-girlfriend, and you’re my boss. If things go wrong, they’d go really wrong, and we can’t afford for that to happen. This job means everything to me, Silas. Besides, do you really want to hurt your brother like that? Us being around each other outside of work is a terrible idea.”
I shake my head and inhale deeply. “Or it’s a great idea, baby. No one needs to know. This is our own space, separate from work. Ryan has no access to my home, so it’s not like he can show up here.”
She looks into my eyes, clearly tempted, yet she shakes her head. “I can’t. It was wrong of me to sleep with you that night, and with us living together the lines are blurring even more. I don’t know what it is about you, Silas… I know I should walk away, yet I keep finding myself gravitating toward you. It’s wrong, and I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop myself either. I know I should leave, but I desperately want to stay.”