My head throbbed as I tried to piece together the fragments of my thoughts. The Cloud Wall lay beside the Golden Desert. The soldiers had changed the violet clouds into sand. Were they creating a new border? An illusion of one? The sudden realization left me cold.
It was a trap, but one far worse than I had imagined.
The Celestials would be lured into the Demon Realm with a false border. Once they crossed over, they would be in violation of the truce and vulnerable to retaliation. Not even their allies could fault the Demon Realm for anything they did to defend themselves. An ambush would await the Celestials—I was sure of it—nothing would be left to chance. A devious plan, a heinous one.
My fist flew to my mouth, stifling my cry. Oh, if only I had not taken the pearls! But I had been tempted by the power, desperate for a way to free my mother without paying the emperor’s price. How greedy I had been in trying to have it all. How utterly arrogant, in thinking that I could protect them when I could not even protect myself. And now, the upcoming devastation, the deaths of thousands would be on my conscience.
A wave of midnight swept over me, stealing the last of my strength. I closed my eyes yet all I could see was the ground awash with blood, glittering with the armor of fallen Celestials. Liwei’s unseeing gaze. Shuxiao’s lifeless body. The faces of those I had served with flashed across my mind, all marching toward their doom. I bit down hard on my knuckle until the skin split and a warm gush of iron and salt spilled into my mouth. My vision blurred from the hot tears filling my eyes as I crumpled to the ground, my body curled into a tight ball, my hands clenching into fists that could do nothing but pummel the cold marble floor.
33
I could not let Liwei and the Celestial Army walk into the deadly trap which awaited them. I could not let them die because of me.
What could I do to prevent it? If I had my magic and the Jade Dragon Bow, I might have taken my chances and stormed out. But powerless, weaponless, friendless—my hope of escaping was as slender as a mouse trapped in a tiger’s claws. For now, I had only my wits to depend on. And I reminded myself, not every battle could be won with brute force; sometimes it was water that could wear down stone.
I had lashed out at Wenzhi as a child would—hurt, angry, and rash. My defiance only roused his suspicions of me, which made escape harder. I needed to convince him I had a change of heart to get him to lower his guard. Only then might I recover the pearls and escape. But he would not be easily duped. Tears might be useful, except Wenzhi had seen me slay monsters without flinching. Pleading would not work; his ambition was pitiless. Nor would it be easy to lie to him, he knew me too well. At least, he thought he did—anger searing me as I recalled his arrogant assumptions. How could he ever imagine that I would fall in with his vile plans?
But perhaps I could use what he knew of me against him, to let him think he had swayed me to his side. He had tried to use my mother’s freedom to tempt me. He believed I would do anything to save her, just as he had done to secure his position. He was wrong, I was not like him. My honor was precious to me, and I knew it was precious to my mother, too.
It was dark still, yet I threw aside the covers and rose to ready myself, my stomach churning as it always did the morning of a battle. This time, however, I had no weapons beyond smiles and words, neither of which I was adept at wielding. And instead of armor, I would be clad in silk. I rummaged through the closet, crammed with exquisite garments in vivid colors. How trivial and wrong this felt, to worry about my attire now. Yet a polished outward appearance would distract from the hollow lies I planned on uttering. Determined on this course, I pulled out a black robe which suited well my current mood. Feathered cranes were embroidered on its skirt and when I touched a white wing, it fluttered, the bird soaring through the midnight silk. If only I could do the same.
Hours passed, the sun rising higher in the sky, still Wenzhi did not come. I thought bitterly, perhaps he was too busy planning for the slaughter tomorrow. Setting his traps, plotting and scheming, while all I had accomplished so far was to scrape a sizable hole in the table. No, I could not just sit here and wait when those I cared for were in danger. If he did not come, I would seek him out—before it was too late.
Striding to the doors, I rapped loudly upon them. Muted voices filtered through the silk-lined panel.
“Don’t answer, it’s another trick,” one whispered.
“What if she’s hurt or something is wrong?”
Another snorted. “Hurt? We’ll be the ones hurt if we open the doors.”