“Because I felt alone.”
“Imagine how I felt.” His fingers slid lower. “You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls. You iced me out. I was suffering just as much as you.”
He was right. I should have heard him out. I was hurt but I should have cared that he was hurting. “I thought you were keeping a secret to protect your friend,” I said. “And when I found out it was because you did something to hurt him? It was hard to believe your side.” Especially because I hadn’t given him a chance to explain.
“So you ran from me instead of talking? Why is your first instinct to run?”
“I don’t know.” It was hard talking to him when his fingers were so distracting.
“You do.” His lips traced the back of my ear. “Tell me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s hard for me to love people, Matt. Everyone I love leaves me.”
His kiss was gentle on my neck. “So why’d you leave me if you knew how much it fucking hurts?”
I was protecting my heart because he kept hurting it. And if I gave it to him like he was asking? I could lose everything. “Because then you couldn’t leave me.”
“I would never leave you, Brooklyn. I don’t know how many times I can say it. I don’t know how many times you have to push me away to prove that I’ll keep coming back. But I’m not going anywhere. You belong with me.”
I nodded. I did. I belonged in his arms. Just like this.
“Do you promise to stop running from me?”
“Yes.” His fingers slid slightly lower. God.
“I don’t want you talking to James anymore.”
The segue didn’t surprise me at all. I almost expected him to have a few contingencies. I’d proven that I was an untrustworthy flight risk. And if this is what he needed for me to prove I wasn’t, I’d give it to him. My friendship with James wasn’t worth losing Matt. “I won’t. I swear.”
There was a long stretch of silence.
“Okay,” he finally said. It didn’t sound like a dismissal this time.
I tried to turn to face him again but he gripped my waist, keeping me in place.
“Tell me what you want right now.” The tip of his nose ran down the side of my neck before he nibbled my shoulder through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. “And maybe I’ll give it to you.”
I swallowed hard. Not this again. Was he hellbent on torturing me? I didn’t know what to say. No, that wasn’t exactly true. I knew exactly what I wanted. “Touch me.” I wanted to skip to the make up portion he promised. I never wanted to fight with him again. I expected an explosion, not a heated conversation where he held me hostage with his hands. He fought unfairly. I’d always give him whatever he wanted like this.
“Here?” He kissed my shoulder where he’d just bitten.
“No,” I moaned. “Lower.”
“Here?” He kissed farther down on my shoulder blade, his hand not moving an inch.
“No, not there.”
“Say it, Brooklyn. Tell me what you want from me.” He tugged on my earlobe with his teeth.
“Poke me in the pants.” What? Really? That’s what I came up with? I wasn’t even wearing pants.
He laughed, kissing the side of my neck. “As endearing as that is…I want you to tell me that you need my fingers inside of you. Or would you rather have my tongue?”
“All of it.”
He finally let me turn around to face him. His eyes weren’t cold and distant anymore. He looked hungry. For me.
“I want all of you,” I whispered.
He grabbed my ass and lifted me up, slamming my back against his door.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as his lips collided with mine.
“You said you didn’t want to do this when I was mad at you the other day,” I said between kisses. “Shouldn’t we wait until you’re not mad at me?”
He kissed me again as he carried me over to his bed and tossed me down on it.
I bounced before sagging into the soft mattress.
“I’m not mad at you.” He leaned over top of me. “I’m in love with you. There’s a huge difference.”
“I’m in love with you too.”
“But I do need you to agree to a few rules before we go any further.”
I nodded. Sex rules? Was that a thing? Or a safe word or something? Why would I need that? What is he planning on doing to me?!
“From now on, you’ll kiss only me.” He pushed up my t-shirt and planted a kiss on my stomach. “You’ll only fall asleep in my arms.” Another kiss a little lower. “I will be your first and only husband.”