“There’s another side?”
“Yes. Mine. What happened to us back then was…bad. It was so bad that we both consider it our lives’ black holes. But I was able to escape it at a younger age. Knox hasn’t. He buried it inside and thought it would magically heal, which is never the case. If anything, it will fester and become worse as the years go by. But do you know when the first time he allowed himself to be open, even a little, was? It was with you, and I could feel it, even if he doesn’t talk about it, even if he still considers himself my protector and wants to shield me from pain. I know I haven’t really been welcoming of you, but it takes me some time to warm up to people, so if you want, if you can, maybe we can meet sometimes?”
“I’m sorry, Teal.” My voice is brittle, wrong.
“Whatever for?”
“I don’t think it’s possible anymore. He and I…we belong to different worlds.”
“I thought that, too, when I first met my husband, but he’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.”
“It’s not the same…I…my father is the leader of the Russian mafia,” I whisper the words, and feel so much shame, it heats my ears.
“So what?” Teal says.
“Huh?”
“I don’t see why that should be a problem if the two of you are fine with it.”
“Did you hear a word I said? My life is a disaster waiting to happen. There’s always danger everywhere.”
“It can’t be worse than how pained you sound right now, or how down Knox has sounded over the phone lately.”
My heart skips at the mention of his name and I tighten my hold on the phone. “He has?”
“He’s been perfectly miserable and I finally figured out why.”
“I…didn’t mean to. I just wanted to protect him.”
“You don’t have to.”
“You don’t understand…”
“It’s you who doesn’t understand. If he wants you, really wants you, he’ll shed blood for it, because that’s who he is. A fighter. He’s definitely not a coward who’ll run the other way at the first obstacle. So give each other a chance, okay?”
Her words draw the tears that I’ve kept at bay and I sniff. “But it’s too late. I’m engaged to be married.”
Teal says something, but I don’t hear her, because a violent rush goes through my limbs and goosebumps cover my skin.
And then I hear it.
The voice I’ll never forget for as long as I live.
“Like fuck you are.”
38
KNOX
The blood in my veins boils and threatens to spill over.
Partly because I’m seeing Anastasia after a long time of living with her ghost and imagining her in every corner.
So seeing her right in front of me is no different than crashing into the wall created by my shadows.
Ever since I was young, they’ve tried everything to confine me within forts no one has access to.
But then Anastasia came along and she didn’t even search for the keys. She went for the walls themselves, demolishing them one by each and every one.
Then she had the audacity to leave as if she hadn’t inflicted that much damage.
As if she has no hold on my fucking soul.
My gaze rakes over her appearance, getting caught in her elegant dress and the way it fits her delicate curves.
She’s not hiding behind glasses or a different hair color. I almost forgot how blonde her hair is—icy, bordering on white, framing her face in a halo. She’s like an angel with her soft features, pale skin, and those blue, blue eyes.
Back then at the bar, they resembled a bright morning sky, but they’re gloomy right now, filled with moisture and a somber edge that stabs my gut.
It’s part of why I can’t contain my rage, why it’s treading on the edge of my control, about to snap it and wreak havoc on everything in its path.
But the biggest part is what I just overheard her say over the phone.
I’m engaged to be married.
As in, another fucker is calling her “fiancée” and he’ll put a ring on her finger and make her his wife.
A pressing weight perches on my chest at the thought and it’s hard to breathe properly. It’s even more difficult to keep myself in check and not destroy everything in my path.
Starting with him.
The fucker who thinks he could take Anastasia away from me.
“K-Knox…？” she stammers, her soft voice unsure, as if she doesn’t believe I’m standing here.