“Well maybe it’s the only place I’ll let you do it in future then,” I said, anger igniting in me. I was so sick of him acting like we weren’t a couple in front of the rebels, always shifting away from me whenever I tried to take his hand or lean in to kiss him.
“Blue,” he growled.
“Lance,” I growled back and he sighed, stepping closer to me as I stepped away.
“You know why it has to be this way.”
“Fuck what everyone thinks,” I huffed, my thoughts spilling out in a torrent. I was tired of abiding to the rules he set, letting him dictate how this relationship was going to be. “I’m giving you everything I am, but you only give me part of you in the name of protecting me. Are you really planning to walk away from me if I one day gain the throne?”
He paused, his silence speaking volumes and making rage spew like lava through my veins. “I will always be here for you.”
“It sounds awfully like there’s a ‘but’ hiding in there.”
“Darcy, it’s what’s best.”
“For who?” I snarled. “Because the best thing for me would be to stop living under a veil of secrets. I want to claim you as mine in front of everyone in Solaria, but you won’t let me.”
“Because it would destroy you,” he snapped.
“Let me be destroyed then,” I growled. “I would rather be judged for living a life of my choosing than have to lie about you, to have to watch you pull away from me every time some random Fae looks at us. I don’t care what they think.”
He shook his head. “I won’t be responsible for your downfall.”
“You’re not responsible for shit, Lance. You just won’t let me make the choice I want to make. It’s my downfall, so let me have it if I want it.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he hissed, stalking towards me as I continued to back up. “Solaria needs you more than I need to claim you in public.”
“Or maybe you just don’t want me in public,” I spat, knowing it was just coming out of anger, but I said it anyway.
“Oh don’t be a child,” he said dismissively.
“No, maybe there’s something to it, Lance. I’ve always been your dirty little secret. Maybe you like the thrill of sneaking around. Maybe that’s the appeal for you.”
He shot toward me in a blur, shoving me up against the wall and baring his fangs in my face. “Don’t belittle what I feel for you. I would tear down mountains for you. The stars look my way in contempt, resenting me for getting to love you while they’re way up there never feeling anything real, never touching anything as beautiful as you. I am the object of their envy because they can’t have you while you’re down on Earth in the cage of my arms, but if they’re waiting to claim you in death, they will find me right beside you, guarding you even then. Because no one will take you from me, and no one will love you as fiercely as I love you. Where you go, I will follow. There is no force powerful enough in this life or the next to tear you away from me. So don’t you dare question my love for you.”
Tears were pooling in my eyes and I shoved at his shoulders, needing air to breathe, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“Then why can’t you love me in front of the world?” I whispered, my voice cracking on those words. “You say you love me more than anything, but you keep our love hidden like it’s something shameful. Do you know how much it hurts me that you expect me to accept that the man I love won’t touch me in front of anyone but our inner circle? It kills me.”
His face twisted in pain at my words, his eyes a sea of agony and confliction as he stared at me.
“Let me choose my fate. If I’m to be ruined, then so be it, but let me be happy in my fucking destruction,” I demanded.
He leaned in close, his mouth against mine in the softest of kisses which tasted an awful lot like heartbreak.
“I’ll see you later, Blue.” He stepped back and before I could answer, he’d shot away into the darkness in the direction I’d come from, leaving me with tears falling down my cheeks and my heart cleaving apart.
I wiped away my tears, standing up straight, not really feeling hungry at all anymore, but still heading in the direction of the dining hall all the same, wanting to see Tory, my friends. I made sure I had myself together as I arrived in the large cavern and spotted everyone sat in front of a large buffet laid out on our table by Geraldine as usual.