I sighed, getting up and hauling my chest of gold into my arms before pouring the lot of it across the bed so that I could replenish my magic faster. Not that I intended to head out after my father now. I couldn’t risk death without trying to fix this with Roxy. Without saying goodbye to her properly before I went.
I tugged my shirt off and sat on the bed again, placing more rings, necklaces and bangles on before picking up a golden crown and looking at it thoughtfully. Somehow, I didn’t want to feel the press of it on my head tonight.
I hadn’t ever been born to wear a crown. All I really wanted was for Solaria to be ruled by people who knew what was best for its subjects. And I had to accept that whatever way this war went now, that was never going to be my fate. I wouldn’t share the throne with the other Heirs, I wouldn’t take my place on the Celestial Council. I wouldn’t even see in the new year ever again.
This was it for me. My final days on countdown and all I could hope was that I would at least see my father fall before I left this world behind and passed beyond the Veil.
I closed my eyes and I didn't even bother to fight sleep as it pushed at me, the exhaustion I felt from using too many wakefulness spells and anti-sleep draughts weighing down on me after so many months of avoiding it. I hadn’t wanted to miss a moment of the time I had left to me, but now I found myself wanting the escape of sleep at last.
I wanted to leave this empty room behind and dream of the girl I loved, have her in that way if I couldn’t hold her close in reality.
I drifted off quickly, but my sleep was far from restful, plagued by nightmares or visions of Roxy grieving me when I was gone.
But as I fell deeper into the despair which was summoned by knowing how much I was going to cost her, I was called back from the brink by the sound of a door clicking closed.
I jerked awake, a small cascade of gold coins falling to the floor as my eyes found hers across the room and I fought to hold myself still, staring at her as intently as she was staring at me.
“I’m so fucking angry with you, Darius,” Roxy breathed, her voice laced with pain which I wished I could banish.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I said, knowing it didn’t fucking matter how sorry I was.
“I’m really, really angry,” she reiterated, her wings flaring at her spine as fire danced in her eyes. “But…I'm not going to waste the time we do have on that feeling.”
“You’re not?” I asked, my throat bobbing with hope at that idea, and she shook her head as I moved to sit up.
“We have a war to win,” she said firmly, taking a step towards me. “Hamish and the others are already working on the details. We will bring the fight to The Palace of Souls before the week is out. Darcy and I will have hundreds of weapons to bless with our flames to help arm the rebels against the Nymphs so that they can stand against them. And you will swear to me that you won’t attempt to go after Lionel before then.”
I stared at her as she took another step closer, the distance between us dissolving as she made her demands of me, and I found all of my desire to fight her just fading away. I’d made this deal for her. She owned me anyway. So why keep fighting against the commands of my queen?
“Okay,” I agreed.
Roxy stepped forward and pushed her hand into my hair, tilting my head back as she looked at my eyes and I fell into the trap of hers. Those endless green eyes which held my entire soul captive and owned every piece of me entirely.
“Are you wondering what they would have looked like ringed in silver for you?” I asked her and her lips lifted a little as she shook her head, her wings flexing at her back.
“No. I don’t want the stars to choose you for me, Darius. I chose you for myself and that’s exactly how I like it. Fate doesn’t get a say in it. You’re my mate because I picked you, not them. You’re my match because you proved that you were the only one for me, not destiny. Our love burns hot with unmatchable passion and eternal devotion as endless as the entire universe because we fucking fought for it in a way no other Fae have ever done before and none ever will. You’re not some gift from the stars to me, Darius. You’re the spoils of a war no one else ever could have won but us. So I’ll take your eyes as endlessly dark as the day you first set them on me. And if the stars come offering us rings in them again, I’ll give them the same answer as I did before. Because no, I don’t want them to choose you for me or me for you. I don’t want them to do a damn thing for us. We don’t need them. I made you mine without them and I’m yours without them too.”