He doesn’t answer at first. Doesn’t want to fight over Laura while all this is going on.
‘What if he meant to kill her, Rachel, but didn’t know about the baby? And now he’s doing this out of guilt – because he realises he nearly killed his own child?’
Rachel turns back to the screen, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
A male reporter, his hand holding his earpiece in place, is now giving an update live. He says that the rooftop protester is understood to be the boyfriend of Gemma Hartley who was shot during her graduation ceremony at Maidstead Cathedral.
‘Ex-boyfriend,’ Rachel barks at the screen.
The reporter continues to say the protester has emailed local media to claim that he and Gemma are expecting a baby together and he wants a say in the child’s future. And information on Gemma’s condition in hospital which he’s being denied.
‘How are they allowed to say this?’ Rachel’s tone is utterly distraught.
The phone at their legal team’s office is finally connected but goes through to answerphone. Damn. Ed asks for his lawyer to return his call urgently but checks his watch and realises it’s unlikely. They’ve only used the firm for wills and moving house. He has no idea if they do out-of-hours work or will even be able to advise him within standard hours.
Rachel’s phone buzzes. ‘It’s a text from Helen. She’s watching the news too. The national bulletin must be running a summary.’ She pauses to read some more. ‘She’s sent her sister’s number. So what do you think? She’s experienced with the media. Shall I ring her?’
‘No. I don’t think that’s a good idea at all. The fewer people we speak to the better.’
Rachel hesitates and then Ed can see a male reporter, just finishing his live update on the TV screen above Rachel’s head. The journalist suddenly turns towards the car park, which is behind him. It’s not possible to see Alex from the reporter’s position. Ed suspects that’s deliberate in case something awful happens.
‘Wait a moment. I’m just hearing something . . .’ The reporter seems to be listening to someone out of shot. When he turns back, his eyes are at first difficult to read.
‘OK. The police are just sharing an update.’
CHAPTER 34
Black and white
Shouldn’t it always be what’s best for the child? Isn’t that always the bottom line?
Here is the way I see it. I have everything ready. Everything set up. I am prepared to do this properly. To put everything else on hold for this. That’s what a child needs. Absolute dedication. Unconditional love.
A person who doesn’t want a child shouldn’t have that child. The child would be better off somewhere else. With someone who wants them.
Being wanted is the most important thing of all, surely.
It’s not rocket science. It’s simple.
I am ready to do this. Make the sacrifices. The child should be with me.
People are not always what they seem to be. And sometimes people just will not listen. Or believe. Or face up to the truth.
But I know the truth. And I see things clearly here. I see things that other people cannot see. People just need to listen to me now . . .
I feel completely sure that I know what’s best here.
CHAPTER 35
THE FATHER – BEFORE
Ed Hartley was certainly not looking for love the night he met Rachel.
He’d given up on love – in fact had pretty much given up on life. Back in England after the nightmare of Laura’s illness, he’d told no one the truth of what had happened in Canada. Without parents to take an interest and no siblings, there was just a small circle of friends who were all surprised to learn he was back so soon.
So what happened?
At first Ed hedged his bets, imagining he would eventually be returning to Canada. That a treatment programme would be found for Laura. Given this, he dodged all the questions out of loyalty to his wife. He didn’t want her to be judged and he didn’t want to be judged himself for seeming to have abandoned her.
But as the weeks stretched to months with Laura’s condition getting worse rather than better, his strategy came undone. He felt utterly isolated.
His circle of friends was the usual mix of old and newer via work. There were a few university friends who kept in touch and a couple of boarding-school friends who knew him a little better, being aware of his childhood trauma. There was also Mark, who’d worked alongside him at the agency before Canada. Ed liked Mark. A laid-back kind of guy with a dry wit and a warm smile. He wasn’t as blokey and showy as some others in marketing. They often had drinks together on a Friday. He and Laura had invited him for supper a few times and she’d liked him too. They’d issued an open invitation for Mark to visit them in Canada. They’d even exchanged letters over possible dates but of course the trip never came off.