“What’ll your family say about you consorting with the enemy?” I ask.
“Ehh, they’ll see how tiny you are in real life and realize you’re no threat.”
“You’re no Zdeno Chara yourself.”
“Six inches make a big difference, Terzo. Bet you didn’t know you got this weird-looking cowlick up here.” He twirls some of the hair on top of my head around his finger and my heart fills my entire chest. “I got a perfect view.”
“Shut up.”
He laughs. Pulls me in closer, closing his eyes, looking like he’s gonna fall right back to sleep. I have this acute awareness of every point of contact between us.
“So?” he asks.
I take a slow breath in until my lungs can’t hold any more air. I hold it for a few long seconds, and close my eyes on the exhale. “Ah, I don’t know. Sleeping on the dock for a few days in the dead of winter sounds kind of appealing. The dining hall will be closed, so I’ll get to practice my ice fishing. I didn’t do Boy Scouts or learn how to start a fire, so I’ll have to fucking … Sméagol that shit. And—” I open my eyes to find Cauler grinning at me. “You’re not stopping me.”
“It’s nice hearing you talk when you’re not being a total shithead.”
Don’t think too much into it.
“You call that not being a shithead?” I ask.
“No, that was you being a little shit.”
I roll my eyes, groaning. “I’m gonna regret this.”
He squeezes my hip. “That mean you’ll come?”
“I suppose.”
He was complaining about my breath a few minutes ago, but that doesn’t stop him from kissing me now.
TWENTY-FOUR
Finals are over, and there is nothing I can do now but obsessively refresh until my grades are posted. I feel pretty alright about biology, and I know I got a perfect score on my Italian exam, but algebra is a toss-up. My final paper for college writing was a mess. I think I’ll be good as far as staying above 2.0, but I want to do better than that.
I want to hit Dorian and Cauler levels of academic success. It’s not gonna happen in the span of two semesters, but at least it’s something to strive for.
Watching Dorian and Barbie load their bags into the Lyft is damn near soul-crushing. This is gonna be an abbreviated break. Not the whole month most of the student body gets. But it feels like I’m seeing them for the last time.
Jesus.
What’s it gonna be like to leave them in May?
I don’t even want to think about it.
Dorian hugs me tight, saying, “We survived our first semester, dude! We can only go up from here.”
Barbie claps me on the back, then thinks better of it and pulls me into a hug. He’s so tall, I feel like a toddler in his arms.
Once they’re gone, Cauler and I load our own bags into Zero’s car. Zero’s got one more exam to go before he drives us all to Boston later tonight, so the two of us pass the time in my room.
He’s tugging off my jeans when my phone vibrates. I push it off the bed onto the floor and ignore it.
He’s pulling his shirt over his head, knees on either side of my hips, when it goes off again, and pushing my hands down into the pillows the third time.
“Something’s wrong,” he mumbles. “You’re not this popular.”
“Fuck you. It’s probably Dorian updating me. I asked him to check in when he gets to the airport.”
“How domestic of you.”
We get another minute or two to ourselves before a video call comes through on my laptop, loud and upbeat and intrusive and relentless. We ignore it for a whole minute before Cauler gives up, groans, and rolls off me.
“Go see who it is,” he says, burying his face in my pillows.
“I don’t wanna,” I whine. But the ringing doesn’t stop.
“Go.” Cauler pushes me toward the edge of the bed and I get up, grumbling as I pull on the nearest pair of sweatpants on the floor. Of course they’re Cauler’s, long enough that I almost trip over them on my way to the desk.
I run my fingers through my hair and try to make it less obvious what I was just doing as I throw myself into my desk chair. “Shit,” I mutter at the sight of Madison’s picture on my computer screen. She never initiates contact. I accept the call and it takes a moment of lag before the video connects.
And it’s not Madison looking at me.
It’s Dad.
The video is frozen on his look of desperation for a second, like he was so sure I wasn’t gonna answer. “Hey, bud!” he calls out, and the image jumps and stretches a few times before his face catches up to his words.