Plus, I’m not dumb. I know who listens to our music the most, and it’s teenage girls. Our fans are very liberal, and are normally very on board with LGBT+ people. But a big part of our appeal has always been us posing as fantasy boyfriends for our fans. There’s a reason each of us fulfils an archetype, and it’s so the widest variety of girls will have one guy that’s their type that they can crush on. It’s a science; Geoff built us to be as mass-appealing as possible. If half of us are queer, that maybe could mess with that. We have some straight and queer male fans, sure, but without straight and bi girls we’d lose the lion’s share of our audience.
Okay.
I need to stop stalling.
I shut the water off.
I can do this. This doesn’t have to be about my brand and Saturday. This can be about me telling two of my best friends something about me I’ve finally figured out. I’ll tell Mom the next time we talk, which will probably be in a few days. At least I don’t have to do that right away, because I have enough on my plate right now.
As I’m picking my clothes, I pay a lot more attention to them than I normally do. Is this the sort of outfit that a bi dude would wear? I end up settling for a black T-shirt, ripped jeans, and a studded belt, because it makes me feel like the most quintessential Zach. Which I guess means it is the kind of outfit a bi guy would wear.
I check my phone. I have a new message from Ruben.
Hey, are you coming? The rest of us are at breakfast. And seriously, are you sure you want to tell them??
Yeah, on my way, sorry. Lost track of time. And I am, trust me.
I just want you to know this is your call, Zach. Chorus shouldn’t take this from you.
They kind of already have. But whatever.
I type back: They’re not, I want to.
I go down to the restaurant at the bottom level of the hotel. The boys of Saturday are seated at a table at the back of the room, each with carefully portioned high-protein plates from the breakfast buffet. I load up my own plate, with a whole-wheat roll, some natural peanut butter, scrambled eggs, and some sausage, then join the others.
“Guten Morgen,” says Angel, as he takes a big bite of a sausage.
Nobody seems to think anything is amiss. Angel is swiping on his phone as he stuffs his face, and Jon has brought the chunky Wheel of Time novel that he’s been reading whenever he gets a second of free time. I bite into my roll.
Now is as good a time as any, I guess. We’re far enough away from everyone else that I can just tell these two.
“Um,” I say. “I have an announcement.”
Jon looks up. Angel doesn’t.
“What is it?” asks Jon.
Here we go …
“Um, so, yeah, there’s this thing I think you two should know about.”
That finally gets Angel’s attention. “What’d you do? Hook up with a prostitute? I’ve got it, you shoplifted, didn’t you?”
“What? No, nothing like that.”
“Damn,” he says, then he peers at me. “Holy shit, you like guys?”
Well, that’s one way for this to go down.
“Um, yeah, actually. I’m bi.”
“Called it,” he says, then takes another bite of his sausage. Jon goes really still.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you two sooner, I was just figuring stuff out, and then … well. Jon, you’re being really quiet.”
“Am I? Sorry, I’m just listening.” Something must cross my face, because his eyes widen. “You know I love you no matter what, right?”
“Yeah. I love you, too.”
He grins, then lightly punches me on the shoulder. “This is great. Good for you, Zach.”
Angel glances at me, and then at Ruben, who’s pointedly avoiding eye contact with him. “No.”
“What?” says Jon.
“They’re hooking up.”
Jon whips his head around so fast I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself. “What?”
Ruben asks me a question with his eyes: Can I tell them?
I nod. Here we go.
“Angel’s not off base,” he says.
“Holy shit,” says Angel. “This is huge.”
“Keep your voice down,” hisses Jon. “Have you told Erin?”
“Not yet, but we kind of have to,” I say. “Keegan caught us last night.”
“Scandal!” says Angel. “Ugh, I love this. You two got busted having sex by security, the drama of it all.”
I start blushing.
Jon frowns. “That means they’re basically forcing you out, Zach.”