‘Fuck it, why wait?’ He spins me to face him then lifts me easily until I am sitting on the dining table with him between my legs. He kisses me. I am stiff beneath his hands. He doesn’t notice.
I spiral away from this moment and I’m back on the hill. Jack grinds me into the dirt, pushing his fingers into me. The weight of him is crushing and I can’t breathe, I can’t—
The angry vibrating of a phone brings me back to the moment. Jack reluctantly releases me and scowls at the caller ID.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.
Without a word, he grabs me by the wrist and marches me back to the basement door. ‘I need to get this,’ is all he says.
In my prison, I sit and wait. I need another shower. I feel grimy, like his fingerprints are all over me.
It’s not long before he returns, carrying the slip dress. He tosses it on the bed beside me. ‘I need to leave.’
‘How long for?’ I ask, trying not to sound relieved.
He is tense. Flustered. ‘Few hours.’
‘Who called?’
His eyes search my face as he decides what to tell me. His hesitation means the call is important. I smile up at him, hoping he’ll soften. He does. ‘The police,’ he tells me.
I sit up straighter. ‘Why?’
The anger is back. ‘Why can’t they just leave me the fuck alone?’ He starts to pace. ‘I’ve handed David over to them on a fucking plate, for Christ’s sake.’
‘What do they want?’
He pushes his fingers back through his hair. ‘A couple of questions. I don’t know. I bet this has something to do with your sister.’
My heart races. I get to my feet. ‘No, I don’t think so,’ I babble. I need to divert his attention away from Ada. ‘She’s no threat. I mean, she’s just a housewife. She couldn’t possibly … you’re overestimating her.’
He nods. ‘Yeah. You’re right.’
I am breathing too fast. It’s fear and hope. Maybe the police know something. Maybe they’ll come. Maybe …
‘I need to go,’ he says. Distracted, he turns to leave. Then he stops and spins towards me. He strides over, grabs me before I can protest and claims my mouth with his. He pulls away slowly, and looks right into my eyes. ‘I won’t be long. If I can get out of this … maybe I can go tomorrow.’
‘No,’ I say, shrill. I take a breath. ‘Just go and get it over with.’
He kisses me once more before leaving.
The tears come. I can’t stop them. The reality of the choice I’ve made is hitting me. I feel myself sinking into a hole I know will take me days to claw my way out of. The longer I am trapped here, the more failed escape attempts stack up, the harder it is to keep going.
For a long while, I let myself indulge in loud, body-wracking sobs. I have a headache and my sweater is tear-stained. I peel Jack’s clothes off my body and put the slip dress on. It’s refreshing to wear clothes that fit properly, that don’t smell of him. The silk is cool against my skin. I sit on the bed and try desperately not to imagine Jack tearing at this later.
Then I hear someone calling my name. I freeze, holding my breath. Listen. It comes again. And again. I jump from the bed and sprint up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I press my ear against the door.
‘Elodie, Elodie, Elodie!’
The voice is getting further away. I panic. I curl my hand into fists and pound on the door. I scream. ‘I’m in here!’ I bang on the wood so hard I’ll bruise.
‘Elodie?’
‘Ada?’ My head swims. The relief that washes over me is followed by an urgency that makes my heart thump. ‘I’m here,’ I stammer. Then louder, ‘I’m here!’
I press my ear to the door. There’s a pause and then the door handle rattles. ‘It’s locked.’
‘He keeps a spare key in the grey box mounted on the wall by the front door,’ I say, remembering that’s where I found it the first time I discovered the basement room months ago.
‘I’ll be back.’
I am dizzy with disbelief. She’s here. Ada is really here. She returns quickly. I hear the scrape of metal on metal as she pushes the key into the lock. I hold my breath. The door clicks open.
And there is my big sister.
We collide in a tangle of tears and warm breath and relief.
‘Ada,’ I whisper again and again. Each time it is sweeter, butterscotch on my tongue.
‘Ellie-Bee,’ she says into my hair.